Today was the day. The day that I would be moving away from everything I know. I can’t do it, I can’t leave all my friends and family. I don’t want to do it!  2,000 miles away from my childhood. I was going on a road trip to Arizona, but it wasn’t for vacation, I was moving there for good. I would be living in a place for the rest of my life that I hardly know anything about. Why? Why can’t I just stay here and live with my grandma. Yeah, there are a few problems in the city. Big deal! There are problems everywhere. Okay, maybe there’s a little violence, and I get it there are some criminals, but oh come on! It’s not that bad I mean we’ve made it this far right? We’re okay, aren’t we?

As I’m walking out of my room, I think to myself where even is Arizona? Nobody lives there, what’s the point of going to this irrelevant desert.  It’s just going to be my mom, dad, and brother and me out in the middle of nowhere, or what if there are aliens or monsters?! Um, no, not happening. Making my way downstairs I bump into my mom.

“Be careful, and make sure you watch where you’re going,” said my mom.

  In this moment I realized I was frowning.

She asks, “What’s wrong?”

  “What’s wrong?” I repeat the words in my head, over and over, “What’s wrong?” I wonder. It’s not like I won’t make friends, or that I won’t be able to make new experiences; I know that I probably will. It’s just the fact that I don’t know anything about this new place.
“Um, I don’t know,” I finally say.
She sighs, “Would you tell me if there was something wrong?” She looks at me with a worried look.
“Yes, Mom,” I say as I bat my eyelashes at her.
  A moment of silence passes; she decides to speak again.
“Well, why don’t you help me load the car?” Realizing I have no choice, I reluctantly agree.
Here we are, all of my family packing away our memories into the U-haul truck. I’m walking down the steps and I notice my brother isn’t helping, so I wonder where he is and set off to find him.
As always, in the computer room just scrolling.
“Come on we have to go help,” I say as I’m walking into the room. He doesn’t respond, like usual. I look over his shoulder to see that he is looking at pictures.
  Hovering above him, I see this beautiful place, and I don’t where it is or what it is.
“What is that?” I ask.
“Arizona,” Don says.
I run out of the room with excitement after, being hit with a change of feelings.

“Mommy! Mommy! Why didn’t you tell me we were moving to such a nice place?” I say, tugging on her shirt.
She laughs, “Calm down, I didn’t tell you because I wanted to surprise you, so that when you woke up you could see the palm trees, but I guess it’s too late for that,” she says, squeezing my cheeks. I giggle as she does this.
We finish loading up the car and gather our last minute belongings. Once we’re done, we drive a few blocks down to say our final good-byes to Grandma and Grandpa. Of course as soon as we arrive, Grandma is bawling her eyes out. Come on lady, pull it together. We all say our goodbyes but then  I remember I forgot my Rosie.
I pull my mother’s sleeve and say, “We have to go back, I left Rosie.” If you didn’t know, which you probably didn’t, Rosie is my stuffed dog who I thought at the time was real. (Don’t judge me, okay.)
“But we already have everything packed and ready to go.”

“Please, please, please, please, please,” I say while pouting.
“Okay fine,” she replies.
We’re all, once again,  gathered  in the car and drive back down those blocks to get that withered ball of fluff. We get there and there she is sitting on the steps looking lonely and pitiful. I grab her and race back to the car.
Drive for hours, stop and eat. Drive, sleep, and eat. Drive some more, stop. Hotel. Wake up. Drive. Drive and sleep. We repeat this process for almost three days.
At this point I will WALK to Arizona as long as I can stretch my legs.
“Are we almost there yet?” I say.
“No, but we’re getting close. We’re in New Mexico right now, and we should be there by the morning,” Mom says.
“Well, I’m going back to sleep.”
I wake up as we are driving down the highway. Oh my God. If you had grown up in Chicago looking at pieces of trash every day then go to this, you would be able to tell this difference easily. There are these tall trees surrounding us. There’s beautiful clouds, such pretty clouds I don’t think I’ve ever seen something like this. It’s amazing just how you can see the difference of a place just by the sky. It’s at least almost 80 degrees in February. Palm trees everywhere. The weather is great. It’s warm outside without it being muggy and humid. The breeze feels so good, and I don’t even smell factory smoke like I used to. I think to myself, I might actually like this place.
Sitting there amazed we eventually arrive at our hotel. Ughh. Yes, finally I can get out of this cramped car. Honestly, it feels like I’ve been in here for three years rather than three days.
The hotel that we arrive at is GORGEOUS! It has these big leafy plants, a HUGE fountain (totally unnecessary), flowers all over the place and a green house just across from the fountain. The lobby of the hotel is almost prettier than outside. Inside the building hangs a gigantic chandelier from the ceiling. A quick breeze blows across the room and knocks me from my thoughts.
We get settled in, and I sit on the nice fluffy hotel bed and watch cartoons. My mom is on the phone making sure everything is set up for our house tomorrow. I can’t wait to see my room. I wonder if there are kids in my neighborhood. Then it hits me. SCHOOL! I forgot all about school. Oh, no. I already think school is a dread, I don’t want to have to got to a new one. Ew. New people, new teachers, new classes. How will I even know how to get to class? What if they don’t like me, or the clothes I wear, or my face, or my hair? Oh, God my hair, it looks awful. (Keep In mind these are thoughts I had at eight).
    

  "Mommy, when do I go back to school?" I ask.
       

She replies, "Next Monday.”

One week, one week to prepare for this ultimate nightmare. 

I’m standing in the bathroom getting ready for my first day of school. I think I’m going to cry. I don’t want to go. The thought of all those new faces staring at me makes my stomach feel like an empty pit filled with fear. If you’ve ever been the new student you how it feel to have new faces stare and judge you by your every move. Everyone's looking at you trying to figure out who are just, when you haven’t even been in the classroom for a full five minutes.. There goes my heart rate increasing by the minute.  Thump, thump, thump, getting ready to thump out of my chest.
          

Okay here we are. We're walking up to the school. Here are these kids waiting to start the school day. There's soooo many kids and parents, I feel like I'm going to throw up. Each step I take one step closer to my final destination. I want to turn around and walk, no RUN back to my mother's car. I feel like they're all staring at me. I just want to hide behind my mommy.

I walk inside the office to meet the woman who will escort me to my classroom. I strut down the hallway showing off my false confidence.
    

"Here we are. Your new classroom, welcome to Sunny Slope." The office lady says.
        

I look at her with pleading eyes, and it seems to me that she understands how I feel and pats my shoulder. I guess I feel somewhat comforted.
        

I walk into the classroom and we start the day off by choosing our own seats. We have the option to sit by whoever we want. I walk to each set of desks and as soon as I approach the grouped set of desks, each one of  them scoot the desks away from me. So I finally end up sitting in a group of desks by myself in the middle of the classroom. All through the beginning of day we go over the rules and the lesson plan for that quarter. Then it's time for recess and lunch.
     

All of the 3rd grade students walk out to the courtyard and playground. All the girls boys go into their cliques. I try to talk to them but they ignore me. I walk up to EVERY SINGLE group asking if I could play with them: it was either being ignored or someone ran away from me. The whole 3rd grade acting as if I had some plague like disease. What's so wrong with me that nobody wants to be within three feet of me. Do I have a booger hanging from my nose or something? Are my pants on backwards? Did I grow warts this morning in the car ride to school? I felt like I couldn't take this anymore I just wanted to cry. Then I noticed a group of girls standing a few feet away from me pointing and laughing at me, and it made me  so angry. Then someone took my lunch and started playing monkey in the middle with it. I pleaded and pleaded but it didn't seem to matter they were to busy enjoying themselves. I walked backwards going to go sit on the bench but then someone pushed me and I scraped my knee. Then I lost my marbles. I started crying- more like bawling which only made them laugh more. I look ridiculous, sitting on the concrete, in the blazing hot sun hugging my knees crying my eyes out.      
     

Then I notice someone trying to hold my hand.  He looks at me with a sympathetic smile. He helps me up to dust myself off. I smile back.

"Hi." I say. 

This was the reassurance that I need to know I can get through this I just have to be willing to.
     

And this my friends would soon become the greatest friendship known to man, but that's another story. :)