Hello, my name is jaszek and my story begins on May 26th 2016. My day had started like normal, i woke up in the morning with the sun glaring through my blinds and blinding me. i pulled the covers off and i remember the freezing cold air sending shivers all over my body and when i stood up my vision had blacked out for a second and returned to normal, i swung my legs over the side of my bed and i stood up feeling the warm carpet under my feet. I started walking to the kitchen to get the toast my grandma makes me every morning and i fell down our flight of stairs and ended up having a good laugh with my family when i finally got to the kitchen. After eating my toast i heard the bus coming down the street so i hastily washed the jelly off my face and shook the crumbs off my hoodie and threw my bag over my shoulder and bolted out the door to get on the bus…

After i had gotten off the bus i went to my computer hardware class and met up with two of my friends and we waited for our teacher to unlock the door and let us in. when we got in, one of my friends asked me “how are you and lauren doing?” i paused at the thought and instinctively said we are fine and put my try not to look like i'm lying face on…

After school that day i came home and i started thinking to myself about how me and lauren and i thought to myself “i know she asked for a one week break but maybe i should call her just to check up on her” so i did call her, multiple times, and she never answered so i called her mother because i'm super close with her household family, i let the phone ring once and her mother picked up the phone instantly and i felt the anxiety and worry go away i realised that now that i'm talking to someone who can tell me everything is fine and shes ok, unfortunately that's not what i was told she answered the phone “hi jazz” in a sad but sweet and smooth voice and i replied “Hi Mrs. D! Hows lauren?” she was silent for about a second and then she burst out crying saying how sorry she was and finally i asked her “What's wrong?” she responded with “ jazz… lauren cheated on you… again… i'm on the way to the hospital to pick her up because her daddy doesn't want her alone ever again,i'm so sorry jazz, just know that this wasn't your fault and that you deserve much better” she said that through her crying sobs, my heart sank to the ground when she finished her sentence, i was in my basement when she had told me and i just collapsed at the bottom of the stairs holding my hands to my chest because the burning feeling of not being able to breath was too much for me to handle, tears pushed through my eyes and i started screaming before i knew it, lauren had been my everything she was the reason i ever did anything, when her mother told me that she cheated it had felt like somebody had reached deep into my heart and pulled out my will to live, i was finished, i just didn't want to be part of a world that could be so cruel,finally i had calmed down enough to ask Mrs. D “can i at least talk to her when she gets home?” she replied “yes, i'll have her call you when we get home” i tried to say thank you but just mumbling sobs came out and i hung up the phone, i sat laying on the bottom stairs to my basement feeling how cold they were and then all my feeling came back to me at once and i broke down, i started slamming my fist on the bottom stair asking myself “why wasn't it good enough? Why do i always fail?” i screamed for ten minutes on the stairs to my cold dark basement, i heard a ringing over my sobs and my home phone was ringing… it was my father so i took a deep breath and answered “Hello father” he responded with “hey dude i'm on my way home from work and just wanted to let you know”and then he asked me what was  wrong and i paused and said ”lauren cheated on me...again” my father said hed be home later that night and we could talk about it if i wanted to.

After i got off the phone with my father i started bursting out crying again and i decided to call one of my friends from my first hour computer hardware class her name was katy so i called katy up and had her come over and she drove over to my house. She pulled  into my driveway and i met her at her car and she ran to me and hugged me, i started crying into her shoulder and as i was crying i made a realization lauren has become more of a problem in my life then a solution and so i vowed to myself that no matter what if it came to the choice of me having to cheat on someone or breaking up with them i will break up with them because now i understand that cheating on somebody is much more painful then having them leave you. i wish lauren had just told me the truth and broke up with me but she didn't and i will never make anybody feel the kind of pain i felt on May 26th 2016.