I am anxious. Scratching at my skin as if I have caught a rash. I have been scratching at it for days now. Yet, the burning sensation is not as uncomfortable as I would have thought. No. In fact, it is the same feeling one gets when they are upset. They simply sulk where they feel comforted. Kind of like sitting in a tub of warm water. In the water, particles of dirt that once sat on the skin becomes one with the water. Contaminating the water. Yet there is a strange comfort in sitting in one's own filth, is it not?

I am gnawing at the skin. Peeling away all of the dead skin, trying to expose the new. A turtle can only stay in its shell for so long no? After a period of time, even it must move on. I can not live in this environment any longer. It is too comfortable for me here. I am not being challenged in any way shape or form.

Yet is it not because you are relying on your environment to challenge you and not you yourself? Comfort, much like discomfort is dependent on mentality and perception. This is why it is important to travel to other environments. You must continue to challenge your mindset by being around others who differ from you. Though it does not require you to permanently find a new environment as a whole. For now, that is not what you can do. You must be content with what you already have. That which is the environment at hand. The problem is not that you have gotten too comfortable in your current environment. The problem is that you have allowed yourself to stop learning with the materials that you have been given.

I am anxious. Scratching at the skin, ready to move on to better places, to better opportunities of life.

Hmmmm, patience child. The world can only move so fast. Make it go any faster and you will regret the sudden change. You will look back and say, "life has gone by too fast." But, is there not a significance in the beauty of the earth turning as slow as it does? Does time not move just as slow? That is if it is being spent correctly. If not, then it will slip past your fingers like the fish in the ocean.

But my fingers are tearing at the skin of my neck. Ready for me to travel. Ready for me to grow up, get out and leave. Scratching to find the new layer of skin buried underneath. I am tired of the routine and everyday life. Day in and day out.

Well, if you are not satisfied with the little, how will you have the ability to hold very much, properly?

I am anxious, scratching off the old skin in hopes to break into the new.

What change is there without patience for the new to develop properly? Properly enough so that when it is time to receive it, it can be ready. You do not eat the banana while it is green, do you?

No, if you do so you will be sick.

So then child, when do you eat it? You eat it when it is ripe. That is when and only when my love.

-Dec 10,2016 | 10:24PM