It happened when I was eleven years old. I was playing with my little sister, Hannah, in the road. My mom’s been gone for three days; that's very unlike her. I start to ask my uncle Free Bird, but he won't tell me where she is.  I start to worry. Its day four and she's still not home. I try to call her phone but it goes to voicemail each time. That's when an old woman asks if I knew where Free Bird lived. I know this woman from somewhere I’ve heard her voice but I can’t place where.

“He lives here, ma’am.” I say in my southern accent.
“Do you happen to be Brook?” she asks with a look of sadness.
“Yes, ma’am, I am. Why?” I was worried it had something to do with my mom. I was right to worry.
“It has to do with your mom. She's not coming home.” she says with a look of pity. I don't know this woman I don't want her pity.
“Why? Where is she?” she won't look me in the eye and she didn't answer my question. Scared I start naming off places.
“Is she in jail?”
No answer.
“Is she in the hospital?”
Still no answer.
“Is…. is she dead?” I hate myself for thinking it but part of me already knew the answer. I will always remember this day, this moment, this move. Shye nods her head yes. I can't see tears blur my vision, I can't take in enough air, the world starts to spins, and I see black dots. The world goes black.

I wake up in a van on the back seat. My heads on someone’s lap. I look up at my mom's face as she pets my head.

“Mom, I had a bad dream. An old lady told me you died.” my mom looks at me.
“Oh, Sweetie, I’m not your mom. I'm her sister.” 

It’s true, my life is over. My best friend is gone, gone forever, she's not coming back. I try not to cry, but the tears come anyway. I want to tell my mom I love her, just one last time, but I can’t. I just want to see her one last time, but I won’t, I never will in my life. Only in my next life.

Three years later
I dream of her. I try to say I’m sorry. That I miss her, but she can’t hear me, she never does. I try to reach her, but she starts to fade like dusk. I run for, hug her and she vanishes in my arms. I’m just holding air.  I tell no one of this dream. I run from it. I run from it all, my past, my mom, my old life. It’s not me anymore. I started my new life. I’ve been running for three years. It’s time for me to turn and face. I have to face my past to let it go. I’ll be facing it for years. I’m still facing it, every time I see someone with their mother and I think I wish I had that. I don’t have to wish for that anymore. They say wishes don’t come true. I’ll tell you if you believe it hard enough it will.

Later that year
I move in with my aunt and uncle. They give me what I need and what I want. They help me, hold my hand, dry my tears, and hold me when I need to be held. They are why I stopped running. What's a life where you're always running? It's a life I don't want to live. I'm facing with my new mom and dad.