`My life is thought to be perfect. People look from the outside and think they know all
about my life, but they don't even scratch the surface. People see me and say oh you have such a big family must be nice for everyone to love each other which can be the case at times but at other times my life is just as messed up as anyone else's. When I was born I was the first grandchild on my mom's side since she was an only child. On my mom's side, I was spoiled rotten as a baby. I was the center of attention, but once my mom's maternity leave was up I spent the next 4 years with my grandma on my mom's side who didn't speak English. I rarely ever spent quality time with parents unless it was late at night after work or on weekends. When I turned 4 and my sister Karina was born she became the center of attention. I faded into the background like lights at the end of a movie. When it came time to do things I wanted to do it became limited, especially, when we went to Disney for my first time and as a family we couldn't go on all the rides as a family. I struggled.

Years later, a really close cousin of mine, Andrew, was about to get married to his long term girlfriend, Maggie. Andrew and I go back to when were little he was one who always payed attention and played with me no matter who was there and even played with me when he came with her. He always thought of me as the biggest thing in his life. When I was little he came to me at my seventh birthday party and asked me the biggest question. I remember like it was yesterday, I was having the time of my life with my friends and then Andrew came up with the great big smile with white teeth wearing this really pearly blue shirt with black jeans and Maggie was wearing that same pearly blue shirt with a pretty necklace that said love, with a diamond on top of the o. Andrew said "Ali I would love for you to do the honor and be my flower girl." I was in shock and my mom was standing over on the side. I was so excited I jumped and said yes. I ran and jumped into his arms as he spun me around like I was the only girl on the world. I remember that day of the wedding being the flower girl I was nervous to disappoint him but I just remembered he picked me. I saw him at the end of the aisle and just walked up there and stopped waved and then stood by his sister. This day showed me how much I really mattered. That night i can say is one i will never forget. I felt so blessed because he treated me like i was his own and so did his wife. Maggie saw me sitting on chair watching everyone dance and came over and said that I know how special Andrew is and that will never change for you. Then she grabbed Andrew and me and we dance as if we were the only ones in the whole world.

As years passed and I got to junior high. I was in 7th grade and was just trying to settle in to the 2nd trimester. When I went home for the weekend and I had to do my Ukrainian homework. I did it and went to bed and that next day was a busy day. I had Ukrainian school, pick up my dance costume, and get ready for my cousin, Avery's, first birthday. The costume was a blue purple color because that year I was gonna be a wave. The costume had to lay flowy just like a wave. That day, I picked up my costume and gave my Baba Teckla a hug and said “see you next week”, she gave me a kiss and said she would always love me but little did I know
that would be the last time I would see her alive. I went to the party for my cousin and had a great time like I always do. The next day, my family and I woke feeling a sense of worry to a phone call from my Baba Maria saying that my Baba Teckla had became unconscious and she didn't know what to do so my mom jumped in the car and drove but by the time my mom and the paramedics got there she was gone. They told us she had a massive heart attack and there was nothing we could have done to prevent it. However, as soon as I got that news a huge thing was what if I didn't run out of the room in such a hurry maybe I could have caught a sign. I started to think about all the what ifs. My cousin, Sonia, told me the day of the funeral that I shouldn’t blame myself or any thing I did or didn't do. She told me in full swoop that it was her time as a collapsed at her feet in tears.

As the years grew I am here today, 18, without no clue on how I got here. I live the stereotypical 18 year old life. I have my license. I have a job. I work hard. I strive to be a person people will look up to. I try my hardest to be me. I try not to let others change me. Today I live with my parents, my dad who yells and says he is not yelling instead he just talks loud, a mother who just sweet and tries to always prove her point as women, and a sister who has struggled to find herself from battling bullies and some depression. I believe that everyone has people like this in their lives. The most important thing is to always remember that there are people who care about you. I know now that i am loved by many and that no ever how hard I fall I have people to count on to bring me back up.

My future is something I look forward to seeing. I believe I will be waking up at 6:30am to get my kids ready for school and have my husband let the dogs out in the yard. I am hoping to have my kids close and not having too large of an age gap. I hope to be leaving the house by 7:30 giving my husband a kiss on the way out. I will drop off my kids and send them to school. I really hope they enjoy school. I hope to arrive at school by 8:15. I hope to have a great class and be teaching all these fun topics. I hope to teach them about greece and hope to improve their learning. I can’t wait to see all the light bulb moments that will fill me with joy. At the end of the day i hope to be able to go home to my husband and children and be able to have some family netflix watching. I would even think about one day a week dinner out. Hope to have children in bed by 10pm and allow my husband and I to connect to get ready for the next day. Hope summers will be packed with family and friend vacations up to the lake house or just out on a boat ride around the lake. Summer is all about being outside and relaxing to get ready for the next school year. I hope our lives are full of happiness and hope to be able to have my family in my corner in those hard times in life. Life isn’t easy but in the end certain moments make it worth the ride