I am sitting in the park, holding onto every atom I have-- staring off into the distance, observing how the light of dusk (dawn? I don't even know) hits the fake grass of the field, to the point that the huge amount of people don't even seem like they're there. The world blurs and I feel something that I don't know, making it feel like I feel nothing at all. Hearing the music playing through my earbuds, reading the words in the book, but they pass right through like they have never been there at all. I feel okay, because I don't know what I feel. But I know that something will come crashing down and I'll realize what I feel, and I worry that it won't be good. But I am not worrying, since I don't feel right now. What a curious thing it is, -- feeling?

It's like the soul of me is out on a vacation that isn't really a vacation because really what is what it is? It's exploring and the rest of me is left sitting on this bench.

I'm breathing, yes, I am. I can feel myself breathing. Breathing - its so complicated but it seems so simple, and it is,, for most people.
You know no one ever tells the whole truth, or the whole story? You don't know the whole truth or whole story-- ever-- unless you are the person and the story. Sometimes I don't even know my truth, or my story. At least, not all of it. You know, people never truly care for both sides? They just judge. I care though, and i don't like to judge because you never know how a person feels deeply inside. It feels weird sometimes, like I'm the only person that cares? But I know others care too. My intentions are always good you know? Even if it doesn't work out that way? And I don't know, I think people should know what others think.

Imagine how beautiful the world would be if we could see each other's deepest parts? It why I think---- its how I know that everyone is good.
If someone punched me I could feel. Pain is a feeling though, and at this point, I'll take anything. I guess it would be some sort of domino effect. If I was in pain, all my other emotions would come through the gates too. I don't know if I want that though. Emotions can suck sometimes you know? But they are emotions and they're important, so maybe I should get hurt -- to feel something?

I think love is the strangest feeling of all. Because everyone knows how it feels to some degree, but no one truly knows what it is. Its the most complicated feeling because there's so many different kinds of love. The love that you feel for a friend or a colleague, the love you feel for your family, the kind of love that destroys you, the love you feel for a pet, or even the kind of love you cling onto when everything goes wrong, or the kind that you don't truly understand? There's so many different kinds of love-- I couldn't list them even if I tried. But the best kind of love I think, is the kind of love that lifts you above-- the kind that gets you out of a past life, into a new one. Have you ever experienced that kind of love? Do you think people ever truly fall out of love?

I love thoughts sometimes. They're so complicated. They seem almost poetic, but they can rip you apart. Up to the point that you can't breathe. Like you're stuck in a glass box, drowning as people look at you, laughing like you're some sort of circus animal. And you're clawing at the glass, screaming for someone to help you but very well knowing that no one can hear. I think everyone feels like that sometimes. So none of us are as different as we seem, or as we try to be. In the end we're all human. Miserable, complicated, lovely humans.