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To Him (Part 2)

November 29, 2018
By AlinaLee GOLD, Hogansburg, New York
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AlinaLee GOLD, Hogansburg, New York
15 articles 0 photos 14 comments
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I realize now that it's time to let go. I did my best. I changed. I fought. I did all of this stuff for you. It hurts thinking that you're gone. It hurts me how you moved on so fast when I'm still in pain. I see the way you talk now and how much you've changed. God, it really hurts. I can't help wondering if I fell in love with a stranger, because I don't think you're still the guy I fell in love with. I just want the best for you. You are so amazing and I hope someone gives you what I couldn't. I have to let go of you. It crushes me, but I need to heal myself before February rolls around. Before it's too late. Thank you for being in my life and opening my eyes. You let me see beauty and you brought it to my attention that I had a problem. You motivated me to change and when I look back years from now when I make something of myself, I'll know that you're the reason for me. Maybe Texas will be possible in another lifetime. I love you. Goodbye A.D.B.

© Kris B., Lewisville, TX

The author's comments:

This is the second part of To Him (The message following the first).

This was written to a young man that I love deeply. 

I lost him on July 4, 2018 after I made a huge mistake as a result of low self-esteem.

The first part of To Him was written on August 1, 2018 and this message was written on September 14, 2018. 

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This article has 5 comments.

Rhiannon_4 DIAMOND said...
on Dec. 22 2018 at 8:26 pm
Rhiannon_4 DIAMOND, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
62 articles 87 photos 200 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you chase two rabbits, you will lose them both. <br /> - Native American proverb<br /> <br /> Do not go gentle into that good night but rage, rage against the dying of the light.<br /> - Dylan Thomas<br /> <br /> What is past is past -- it is the present and the future that concern us.<br /> - Hiawatha, founder of the Iroquois Confederacy

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Oops, hit post there. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but have hope, you have a lot ahead of you :)
Rhiannon_4 DIAMOND said...
on Dec. 22 2018 at 8:25 pm
Rhiannon_4 DIAMOND, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
62 articles 87 photos 200 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you chase two rabbits, you will lose them both. <br /> - Native American proverb<br /> <br /> Do not go gentle into that good night but rage, rage against the dying of the light.<br /> - Dylan Thomas<br /> <br /> What is past is past -- it is the present and the future that concern us.<br /> - Hiawatha, founder of the Iroquois Confederacy

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@AlinaLee
AlinaLee GOLD said...
on Dec. 17 2018 at 8:35 am
AlinaLee GOLD, Hogansburg, New York
15 articles 0 photos 14 comments
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@Summer_R_Quinn I still kinda hold onto the idea of Texas, but I know I can no longer have that with him. Had I have not let him go, Texas would still be possible.
AlinaLee GOLD said...
on Dec. 17 2018 at 8:23 am
AlinaLee GOLD, Hogansburg, New York
15 articles 0 photos 14 comments
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@Summer_R_Quinn The quote "To Texas" was a really deep thing between me and my ex. I loved him deeply and I told him often that I wanted to marry him. We both talked about places we wanted to travel together and Texas was a place that we had in common. He told me that he'd take me to Texas one day and we could be together, just him and I. When anything went wrong and we had very little to hang on to, we'd tell each other to keep Texas in mind. When we broke up it seemed like all of our plans went down the drain, we no longer had that to hold on to. I felt like I not only lost him, I lost a part of myself and my dreams.
Rhiannon_4 DIAMOND said...
on Dec. 16 2018 at 2:59 pm
Rhiannon_4 DIAMOND, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
62 articles 87 photos 200 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you chase two rabbits, you will lose them both. <br /> - Native American proverb<br /> <br /> Do not go gentle into that good night but rage, rage against the dying of the light.<br /> - Dylan Thomas<br /> <br /> What is past is past -- it is the present and the future that concern us.<br /> - Hiawatha, founder of the Iroquois Confederacy

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I love how you wrote this with a kind of raw emotion in the words. Can I ask what, "Maybe Texas will be possible in another lifetime" means?