The Zera Effect | Teen Ink

The Zera Effect

April 9, 2019
By the_endangered_species BRONZE, Sumter, South Carolina
the_endangered_species BRONZE, Sumter, South Carolina
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It was beautifully depressing, like a street car named desire"- Brendon Urie


At the beginning of this year I met a sweet, happy, vivacious young girl. It was the first day of school, and I an eighth grader was not looking forward to it. As I am mindlessly wandering the halls of alice drive middle I stumble across a girl. The girl seemed quite lost as she was a mere sixth grader walking into a ninth grade algebra 1 class. She as we later found out was attempting hopelessly to find her way to band. Now at first this seems insignificant as sixth graders get lost quite frequently. However this one was different over the next to weeks I saw her every where. She would randomly appear out of seemingly nowhere. Why was I noticing her? Why was this average looking sixth grade standing out as if she had a homing beacon strapped to her forehead. I began to notice things I never noticed before. She was outwardly the same bright happy young girl. Inwardly, she was slowly decaying in the pits of her own mind. Why should I notice? Why should I care? How come I seem to be the only one that’s noticing? Three weeks later the bright young girl I once knew was gone. And in her place lies a broken defeated little girl who was to scared of the light to even dare crawling to safety. At some point during those weeks I managed to coax a name out of her “Zera” she said. Zera. The child that showed me how to care. The child that taught me what it’s like to care for other people. Up until that point it was all about me. What was going on in my life. What was wrong with ME. Until one day it wasn’t. My father later told me that that one day he went to bring me lunch, I was distracted, my mind darting to the hot pink haired child across the cafeteria. After I was done with my food I asked if I could go see a friend. I didn’t know it at the time, but my dad was watching intently as I tried desperately to get the child I had grown so fond of to eat something. Even the meager chicken strip I was bringing over for her. Once again, I was blocked with a smooth rebuttal. You see we had established this pattern. Every B-day I go talk to her, I hug her and tell her everything will be alright, and that she should go eat something. Then everyday I was blocked by the “I’m not hungry” . I tried in vain to make her take the chicken strip, defeated I walked back to the table my dad was sitting at. The moment I was over there I was greeted by a weird look. I inquire as to why he has such a queer look on his face. He responds “you had empathy, you cared for a little girl you know hardly nothing about.”  Eventually the lunch came to an end and me and my father bid farewell. And we continued with the same old routine. Of my trying to encourage her and her slowly letting me in. Until one day I come and sit next to her as I always do and I notice something, her arms are littered with scars. I play it cool not saying anything about them until I am about to leave. When I got up it was the smooth remark of “ Well the lunch monitor is coming I’d better go, and Zera, stop doing that to yourself.” I try to play it cool like my world didn’t just implode. When in all actuality it did. The very girl that revealed so much about me was trying to end her life. How did I miss this. How could I have missed this? Did I really miss this, or was it me selfishly hoping that she would not have to endure the terror that my friends and I have experienced. Before I wished to be a lawyer, the reason for which I do not know. Now I want more than anything else to be a psychiatrist. To help children so they never have to go through what I went through. So they never have to experience the terrors of this world. I failed. I couldn’t protect her. Instead she helped me. She showed me what it is I need to be doing with my life. Instead of wasting it on meaningless quotes. I could be helping poor children that have been thrust into situations that they never should have been in the first place. That I can help them overcome the terrors of this world that I am oh so familiar with. That I can prevent the from ever reaching the point in which they want to take their own life. No child should ever reach that point. Children are to be protected. To be love to be cared for. Not for people to just throw them away as if they are nothing more than dirt under your foot. I want to be that light for them. To help them through the treacherous journey that they have embarked on. Without Zera I never would have realized. I never would have realized that I can help people. I don't have to sit on the sidelines while they decay right in front of my eyes. If I can help just one person live to see another day then I have succeeded. For if one person can make it through the minefield that means there is hope for everyone. No matter what side of the darkness your on you can prevail. You can win. You can be free of all the darkness that haunts your past. You can live. You can love. You can laugh. You can do anything you’ve ever wanted. All of this I realized because an unwitting sixth grade girl wandered into my life and flipped it upside down. She doesn’t even know the effect she has had on me. One day I shall thank her for all the help she has given me whether she meant to or not. I can never repay her for the affect she’s had on my life. This effect is what I have affectionately called the “Zera effect”.


The author's comments:

This child is the best thing that ever happened to me. The light that helped showed me my purpose. The child that showed me what I can do with my life. The child that showed me I was wasting my life. That child is responsible for all the revelations of my eighth grade carrier. The child that I have grown to care for so much. That child is beautiful, vivacious, brilliant girl that I will always love no matter how I get. I owe her everything. Everything to my darling Zera. 


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