Life, as I have recently realized, is a little bit like a roller coaster. This can refer to emotions, phases, and many other things that are a part of life. But obviously, the entire goal of a roller coaster is to enjoy it. If you’re too afraid of being hurt, which isn’t likely, you’ll spend the entire ride sitting anxiously, waiting for it to end, no slight trace of enjoyment in you. I’ve realized that it’s important to find a way to enjoy the ups and downs of life. We can’t let the fear and chaos consume us, because otherwise, the ride will end too soon.

However, this doesn’t mean the ride isn’t terrifying. The feeling of falling created at the pit of your stomach thanks to gravity is scary, just like the heavy weight of too much responsibility. The chaotic aspects of life when you’re on the way down can take over if you let them get a hold of you. If you don’t find the right balance.

For me, the downs have sometimes been much greater than the ups and it hasn’t been easy shaking off the anxiety and fear that most times overwhelmed me. When I had tons of college applications due around the same time I was planning my school’s Homecoming dance, when I had to scramble to get a cover for work because I had a mandatory performance with my choir, or when I had to work the entirety of my Spring Break in order to afford my prom ticket keeping a good balance proved to be very difficult. These times were some of my lowest, and it was hard to keep everything together. I believe I have had more panic attacks in the past year than in the rest of my life combined. High school, particularly senior year, has been a harsh reality check for me. Yet somehow I managed to get back up the ride, I did not stay down.

Recently, I realized that the simplest solution to not getting stuck in the down is reversing the natural effects caused by gravity. Make sure the ups are much greater than the downs, always. Yes, I have a very challenging school curriculum, I am a leader in several different extracurriculars, and I have a part-time job. But this is all because I want and need to challenge myself. I have never been one to doubt my capabilities. Even when things feel impossible, I always know I’ll get it done because I’m just not the type of person who gives up halfway in. Anything I start, I finish. I refuse to be taken down in the chaos of life because I couldn’t find my balance.

So when things become too much, I make sure I get back up one way or another. I take an hour or two to relax, I take time off of work, I hang out with the people that make me happy. And slowly but surely, this makes up for the stress and the anxiety, it helps me find my balance. Even an hour of eating out on my own, or doing a face-mask before I go to sleep, really boosts my confidence. And it’s weird that these sort of instances are the ones that drive me upwards. Not the fact that I was accepted into one of my favorite universities, or the fact that I’m graduating in a couple of weeks. The big life events have kind of passed me by, not in a bad way. I am happy that they have happened, however, they are not my main driving force.

I live for the small highs, the small pushes towards that peak that breaks free from the fear. Through them, I’ve been able to find my balance in life. In the future, I hope it stays this way. Appreciating the big life events just as much as the small ones, in order to keep them close as a way of comfort in the lows of life. If I continue this way I truly believe I will be successful in whatever I set my mind to in the future. Because a bright future is a happy one. With this ability to find stability and balance in the lows, I hope to reach many highs in the roller coaster that is life.