I was having my 15th birthday party, just getting my phone back after an endless month. I just started to text the girl that would change my view on everything, a few days before.

We had some things in common and started talking. I showed her my poetry to get a second opinion and she loved it.

I posted a picture of the candy fun dip, and it had “Be mine” written in the candy and captioned “Will you whoever you are.” The same girl said it was cute, i said “thanks”. She said “ your welcome, wait what.”  I laughed it off, she said later and commented on my other post saying i’ll be forever alone and she said same and that “Love is so complicated.” The understatement of the century. two hours after the party i had gone home and talked with her again and she said that she liked me and i said the same, So i asked her out and from there it was all ups and downs. The next day as i am about to take a quiz i didn’t study for i get a text from her saying “what happened last night”. My heart sank, i asked her what are you talking about and she said that she didn’t remember much but she did remember saying she liked me, which was a plus. She said she liked me a lot and I gave a sigh of relief. Then after she didn’t respond she told me the truth. What she told me i didn’t expect but i reacted calmly. She said “ I’m going to be honest with you i have feelings for someone else” and after hearing those words i froze i kept reading, “ but i don’t want to i really like you and i wanna make it work.” I said the same, “ I really like you too and i want to make this work.” so I did.

The next three weeks were the best, i went to New Jersey and we talked for hours i facetimed her a few hours before I left and i saw her face and voice for the first time.  Over the course of the weekend we talked and laughed. On Monday afternoon I come home after a weekend over my aunt's house. She asked me if i could go to the mall when i got home i said no cause it takes usually 7 hours to get home but i got home around 5-6 o’clock. Her friend Jade didn’t tell her and i surprised her and at first it was kinda awkward. I had cherished that day. A few days later i had went over her house with my friend hannah since we had plans and i didn’t want to leave her hanging so i took her with me. We went into her room, there was her friend Rachel, and her boyfriend Roanin. We cuddled on her bed and it all came together i felt  that she was so happy and content. That made me the happiest guy ever. We made out a couple times and it was great, but it soon came to an end, i had to go home. After that it all went downhill.

She and I have had some little arguments where she wouldn’t talk but my smooth talk got her out of her sadness, One night my friend asked me if i wanted to come over, so i asked my dad and he said no. I got really md at this and took it out on my girlfriend which was a really bad mistake and i regret it to this day. I had said that my parents didn’t like her and she got hurt by that but i was mad and took it out on her. Luckily i cheered her up. After that happened there were some moments where it seemed like she thought we weren’t dating, which scared me and i got confused and worried. A few days later she came over to my place, at first it was a little awkward but she was shy, after she was there for a bit we started to go at it. After we had the lights off for a little while my parents wanted them on and then after we had stopped it was awkward and nobody talked. Then we started talking about phones and all that jazz. After I had drove her home and she sat on my lap in the car and i looked at her and she looked so happy and content. I walked her to her door hugged her goodbye and that was the last time i would see her before she broke up with me.

I had gotten my phone taken due to my lousy effort in school. I texted her that i got my phone taken and not to blame yourself but the only person to blame was me. She did it anyways but i texted her for a few days on my chromebook, and she was acting strange and i knew something was up. As i was going to sleep she calls at 11 P.M. I got confused and didn’t answer, i called her back and she said to me, “ I like you and everything and your such an amazing person but i’m not ready for a committed relationship, My mental state right now is just taking over and i need some time but i want to try again in the future.” I said “ me too i get that, hopefully we can stay friends and i’m glad i got to be there for her.” That was that. Over the course of the following weeks were weird and awkward at times and we had some arguments. I posted and 11:11 captioning no one. She said “pff cmon you have no one in mind.” I said “no” i said the same thing to be funny but i was curious and she said she had someone in mind but it was her ex. I said to myself that i get it i had a feeling. Then thought wait it could be me. So i said “wait a minute” she said, “it could be you or collin only i know and no one else.” I said this might be the chance we could get back together, I had hope. The next night got me in so many emotions. She said “ Christian i owe you an apology, you made me smile and laugh a lot but i didn’t truly have feelings for you i’m sorry”. I was surprised by this, I had no idea what to say. I said “it’s okay…” That was all i could think about and couldn’t sleep, I got so mad and sad and confused saying to myself “what did i do wrong.”

The weeks passing were very weird and confusing and i knew in the back of my mind that we were never getting back together, but I had hope that we could come back together and be happy again. She was going through a lot with her homelife and had to leave and go into foster care and kept wanting to go on the streets just so she had her phone. Luckily her best friend’s family adopted her, and from then on i knew she was safe. I could not get over it, I missed her, or at least i missed what we had that she had looked so happy and content with me but she gave up. She had gone out of a relationship before me about a month and ten days, but she still liked him after everything. It took me a while to realize that it was over between us. I had cared to much about her to let go but knowing the truth hurt but it made me grow as a person. Recently i had responded to her story and she unadded me randomly, which was the weirdest thing since i don’t talk to her much. Her friend says that she gets annoyed when people hit her up too much and i usually don’t but i said whatever.

I learned a lot from this, i grew as a human being. This was my first relationship. Some people said to me that i shouldn't've been treated like the way i did. I cared for her and she just didn’t and i am fine with that now. I know a lot more about how this all came about and how this was a learning experience. It all takes some time to get over things but without her friend’s Jade’s help i would still be in doubt and sorrow.