Frozen in fear, the terror I felt was so odd to me, not knowing what it felt like. The expression on her face, glancing back at me, with such a bewildered look. It was like having a staring competition with a ghost… And it was.

It was the month in which I had lost a dear family member that I cared for deeply. A woman I loved so much, that was always there for me when I needed her. My grandmother, the mother of my mother, the woman who cared and loved me for seven years. She was gone, actually gone, something I couldn't believe. The day she left the world behind the family fell apart. I lost my grandmother physically and my mother mentally. Mom took it really hard, she dreamt things she wished was reality, my grandmother well and alive. My mother was her caretaker until the day she died, she couldn’t bear the fact that her mom was gone.

Months of healing go by and mom started to feel better, grandma stopped visiting in the dreams of my mother, but instead she came to me… On one regular day which consisted of dad at work, mom cleaning, and my brothers and I playing. After hours of playing, my brothers went down stairs leaving me alone, which wasn’t a problem really. At least until I started to drift off into a daydream. All of a sudden I seen something or someone going towards my bedroom down the hall, innocently thinking it was one of my brothers or my mother. But when I took a good look i seen it. A lady who looked very familiar in a way but i was too frantic to comprehend what was happening. We stared into each others eyes, i seen confusion.

Along with a confused expression on her face, she didn't look like a normal human being, she looked lifeless.. No color, No silhouette, no lifelike features. But the more I stared, the more I realized… My grandmother was standing down the hall from me after being gone for so long. It felt illusory. I began to sob, the more i did she would fade away into nonexistence. I wanted her to come back, I knew she wasn't going to but the thought of her being here with the family again made me feel comforted. She was gone for good.

I still wonder, what was she trying to tell me? Is she going to visit again? Does she miss us as much as we miss her? I would like to know, as of right now it's been 10 years since she's been gone, the pain is still there, it's not going to go anywhere. It will never be the same without her, I would love for her to visit again..