Forgive me for being a lunatic | Teen Ink

Forgive me for being a lunatic

January 26, 2022
By AngelChen GOLD, Beijing, Other
AngelChen GOLD, Beijing, Other
11 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I don't know what's going on in Chinese society.

Excerpt from a chat with my ex-boyfriend last night:

"Is your family really wealthy? Why are you completely different from those of the rich second generation? I can feel that their lives are very rich, and you are very different. You don't look so rich. Not like them, you're a lunatic."

He said that the affluent and second-generation little ladies all donned Gucci or Thom Browne for photos at the Bulgari Hotel's afternoon tea. They used social media to share pictures of sports cars and mansions. And, in comparison to them, I appear to be much more straightforward.

After he said this, I removed his WeChat from my address. I find it ridiculous.

I've always believed that whether or not a person is successful is determined by whether or not his spiritual world is wealthy. Those who, in my opinion, is excellent and should be sought after are those who do not care about the world's evaluation and vision and move forward on their own; those who are unwilling to be mediocre but have ambitions to change the world and those who are self-respecting, independent and have a high awareness density. Isn't the core of elite education that people can be confident without relying on external things?

When did it become fashionable to believe that earning a living via one's own labor is a waste of time and that instead, one should rely on their parents' money or locate a wealthy partner? And when did everyone start going after those "upstarts" who are holding red wine, wearing luxury goods, showing off luxury cars and mansions on social media, and feeling complacent about the number of likes? Should the human spirit follow the law of the principle of conformance when everything is governed by it? I'm not sure.

Those who have fought so hard to achieve the life we desire are scorned.

I don't understand.

But no matter how much mockery and contempt I receive, I don't want to be like them.

I hate mediocrity; I'm obsessed with thunderstorms and yearn to be reborn after each crash.

I hate stability, I’I'mbsessed with stress, and I have to climb to the summit of the mountain in agony over and over again.

I hate taking, and I want to create, to dance in the empty field like wildflowers.

I want me to live forever romantically in this impetuous world.

And if I look like a lunatic,

just let me.


The author's comments:

Please don't assume that it's our fault that we can't be what others like. I hope everyone can be crazy and romantic on the way to becoming what they want.


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