Get back to that ridiculous class | Teen Ink

Get back to that ridiculous class

April 6, 2022
By AngelChen GOLD, Beijing, Other
AngelChen GOLD, Beijing, Other
11 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I skipped class. Resolutely.
 
I no longer want to go to those ridiculous classes, listening to the teacher in his class who gave me the lowest grade because he didn’t like me talking about how fair he is to every student and watching the students who are insulting each other behind their backs and seemingly well-connected joking with each other. Then I have to deal with them with my typical indifferent grin and uninterested demeanor.
 
I’m exhausted.
 
“Professor, I feel sick. Can I go to the clinic for a while?”
 
I held my breath as I stared at that unattractive face. A wrinkled brow and a sigh show a hint of fury in the eyes. “Hurry back!”
 
Thank God.
 
I grabbed my backpack as quickly as possible and dashed towards the entrance opposite the clinic. The instant I got out of that “hell,” it seemed to unload a ton of dumbbells.
 
I wandered over to the school’s piano room, put on my headphones, and played my favorite song. They always help me in thinking more clearly. Then I picked a spot in the far corner to sit.
 
There were no cameras, people, or lights. Every nook and corner was engulfed in a cocoon of darkness and stillness. This place is unknown to anyone at the school, but to me, it is a personal garden to which only I have access.
 
I closed my eyes and drifted off to my favorite music for a bit.
 
“How do I live; how do I breathe?” Through the headphones, the familiar lyrics began to play. It looks to be someone who has a soul like Sam Smith’s. I should be overjoyed. I suppose so.
 
“I had a feeling you’d show up.” Expectedly, a voice broke my freedom and solitude.
 
That voice belongs to my best friend, whom I’ve known for almost a decade. His supernatural power is to determine my location when no one else can find me. This isn’t very pleasant.
 
“Bad mood?”
“No.”
“It’s a lie again.”
He still knows me best.
 
“What’s more, guess what? After so many years of knowing you, something confused me. A person who has a large social circle and is well-known prefers to be alone. You should be happy.”
 
I stayed silent. He didn’t inquire further because we had fundamental intuitive knowledge. He just sat silently next to me in the corner, sharing the bliss of darkness and silence with me.
 
Should I? I thought.
 
I had to pretend I wasn’t sad after breaking up with my favorite boyfriend since I couldn’t let the counselor worry about my academic standing. To avoid being reprimanded behind my back by others, I must maintain a superficial connection with my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend, even if I dislike her. I have to please the teacher in charge of teaching affairs, whom everyone knows is constantly leveling his pistol at me since I can’t be punished in school for applying. Because I need to keep my “Good character,” I have to laugh it off even if someone makes a serious joke about me. I go to many parties that I don’t want to go to preserve my social connections.
 
Always appears to be well-liked, mixes well, and has many friends. This type of person does not appear to be lonely or depressed. These are those who are envious of those who live in the spotlight.
 
But, to fit in and become famous, I transformed myself into someone I didn’t recognize.
Is this the kind of growth I had longed for? Am I ready?
 
I don’t know.
 
“I’m going to class.” My friend said.
 
Thank God.
 
“You know, sometimes being weak and fragile is nothing wrong. I like the girl who used to giggle stupidly every day.”
 
“I like her too.” And I missed her crazily. I said in my heart.
 
I likewise departed, taking with me a bit of calm that was mine alone.
 
However, there is no way.
 
The unattractive face and that impatient voice popped back into my mind. The private garden is only temporary, and I must return to that ridiculous class.


The author's comments:

What kind of mentality should we acquire when dealing with an unintentional grown-up? 


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