Time enables us to change, to move forward, to let go of grudges. It brings forth experience and unique happenings that shape a being that reconstructs itself every day. Time means an ever-changing series of events; unable to be put on pause, impossible to slow down. The construct of time itself is its own enigma.

Though time provides a necessary development of cognition of the mind and autonomy of the body, the bittersweet tears run down my iridescent skin and into the creases of my lips, tasting the salt-like water that leaks from my tear ducts. 

Feeling one’s own age, and one’s own being grow is an ambivalent feeling. Parts of oneself develop while others remain stagnant; stuck in a continuous loop of repeated behaviors and consistent thoughts. Without recognition of flaws and gifts leaves no room for growth. But why would I want to grow?

Despite the fact that aging is inevitable, if I were capable of outrunning the tragedy of time, would I? Would I allow myself to be left behind to relive the best years of my life, over, and over again? 

The idea of being seventeen for eternity sounds surreal. A way to remain responsibility and care-free for the remainder of my life would be easy. But how could one live a static life while everything around them evolves?

To choose to lead a still life would be an ignorant choice. Our ability to learn and mature is one of our greatest gifts, intelligence is a form of beauty impossible to obtain without an open mind. Of course, there’s so much to know with so little time. Development is unfeasible without the ability to empathize and understand. Development is unfeasible without a desire to change. Knowing this now, why would I want to grow? 

The simple answer would be: because I have no choice.