Thank you Kelly Clarkson

Is it true what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? Some could argue what doesn’t kill you makes you weaker until something actually does kill you. That's what I thought was going to happen to me. Then I learned Kelly Clarkson might have a point, what doesn’t kill you does make you stronger. 

From the surface junior year seemed great. This year I definitely was able to cross economics off my list of possible degrees, I went to New York City with my best friends, I got a new sister-in-law, I survived driving in my first snow storm, I went to Madison and Green Bay with my friends in support of the basketball and volleyball teams, I made it to pretty much every football game, I went to Texas, I saw my brother graduate from the University of Tennessee, I visited my grandparents in Florida. The list of exciting things I had the opportunity to do this year goes on. So why would I think junior year was so awful? 

First of all, I really hate the winter. It's almost as if I can feel the vitamin D escaping my body as we get further and further into the cold months. The tired days I had to spend dragging myself through school, going to soccer practice, and then staying up until one am studying for a test I didn’t even do well on anyway because I didn’t have enough sleep. 

AP Macroeconomics was my breaking point. I was not good at that class. Even after my parents told me to drop it in the 2nd semester, for some reason I kept it. I ended up with a B but only because what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. The whole 2nd semester I was hanging on in the C-C+ range, there wasn’t one second where my grade went above a 78% in that class, and me being the type A person I am, could not accept a C.

I worked and I worked and no matter how hard I studied for that class I just did not understand why the money market has such a big impact on unemployment. I was hanging on with a C+ until the last week before the final where my grade just barely peaked above an 80%. I was determined to keep that grade. The first time around I got a 66% on the final exam. That was not going to keep my 80%. So I studied, and studied, and finally learned what interest rates were, and I got up at 5 am and went to school to retake the final at 6 am. I got an 80% the second time around. I finished the class with an 80.86%. 

In that week I learned two things: interest rates do matter, and all I need to do is keep working, everything will fall into place. So I kept working. The reason why junior year was such a “disaster”  was only because I let my grades slip under me for a second, and I am a very stressed person, or at least I was. This year taught me how deep it really is, spoiler alert: it's not that deep. My grades were fine (even when I “let them slip under me”) if anyone else would’ve looked at them. But I was a very stressed person.  

I know AP Macro didn’t kill me. There were a few nights where I thought it was going to, but in the end it just made me stronger. I learned a lot about myself this year, I also learned how to relax a little, and how to prioritize my homework and classes so I can get the most out of everything. Most importantly I learned that no matter how many times I get knocked down, even if it seems like each time I am getting weaker and weaker, there will be a breaking point. And there was. Even so I got up again, and I am leaving June way stronger than I arrived in September, all thanks to Kelly Clarkson.