I used to carry around little dolls that anyone would give me. Every time someone would give me a new doll I would abandon the old one for the new one because I liked it better. Little did I know that once I grew up I could also be discarded like an old toy. I used to carry around the grief of “Oh no my toy broke” and I would cry until I was told that it was just a toy and that it did not matter because it was an inanimate object that only weighed 7.25 ounces. I used to think that losing my toys was the worst heartbreak that I could ever feel but little did I know that losing those was nothing compared to everything else that I could lose.

 On March 26, 2017, I was taken away from my family with only the clothes on my back and my backpack which weighed no more than 12 lbs. April 28, 2022, was when my brother died. I didn't find out until May 3rd. I had experienced death before but I never thought that someone that I had used to be so close to would ever die, that was a new pain that I had never felt before. I also have to deal with the grief of never getting the closer I needed from him.  Now I carry around a necklace that holds his ashes. My first boyfriend broke up with me for another girl and then I remembered that he had treated me like I had treated my dolls.  I felt the way all of my dolls probably felt when I got a new toy and forgot about them. That cycle continued until my last boyfriend. I will always wonder how people can treat others and abandon them as if they were the toys that we all once abandoned when we were little kids.