Love is a feeling inexplicably caused by the presence of another. It occurs spontaneously, instantly, overwhelmingly. There is no reason behind it; no logic it follows. Too often people try to make sense of love. To list a set of common characteristics that point to its existence. This is how hearts are mislead into artificial relationships. In trying to explain the reasoning of love, the very essence can be lost.


One common misconception is that the words “I love you” themselves denote the presence of the feeling. We were taught this phrase from birth. There is not an English speaking human being who hasn’t heard this sentence. It’s conventional, and when you look closely at these words words, they are just that. Words. Just words. Letters and syllables and sounds arranged in order. Anyone is capable of reciting this phrase, regardless if they feel love. How much weight can be given to a series of sounds anyone has the capacity to deliver?


Similarly, love cannot be the conclusion drawn from close physical contact. Holding hands, kissing, physical intimacy of any type; none of these give proof of love any more than words. So many of us have become so sensitized to physical touch, it carries barely any meaning. We give physical attention to many more people than those we love. When broken down similar to the statement of love, it is nothing more than motions. Anyone can lace their fingers and grip the hand of another, and no meaning can be derived from the actions themselves.


Love often coexists with these actions, but I am afraid many have taken them as the cause rather than the effect. By going through the motions of love, you cannot hope to foster the feeling. It is not something you decide to accept or deny, create or destroy. It is something that is inflicted upon you. There are no signs, for you don’t need any. Don’t let yourself be fooled. When you are in love, you don’t need reasons.