There are times, when my heart feels like its sinking. Like my world will crash down if I speak. I worry and I wonder, and begin to live by fear. I hate mysef like this, but I just don't know what to do.

At others I am lifted, and my heart feels like it would soar right out of my chest if I could. Then she looks at me with that glare, that look in her eye. Thats when I feel my heart begin to pound. My eyes begin to tar up, and my breath comes short, and begins to hitch.

All I want to do is male her happy. She helped me thorugh so much, she was with me through everything. She took me in, and made me feel safe when I had been left before. She made me feel whole again, after once feeling lost.

Now I feek lot again, like Im running on the path in the woods and can't find my way out. I don't want to dissapoint her. I like to see the smile, that is filled with love... Not the look in her eye that tels me she is dissapointed. That I am a dissapointment.

I breath in and I breath out, that is how I get through to day. I smile with the sad eyes, and the sad smile. Just trying to get by without being asked whats wrong. to get through one day without a shouting match is like winning a gold medle. Even when I have to fight back the tears. If I only had one wish, it would be to make my mom happy with me once agian.

Then agian, wishing on stars is no good, there are no fairy God mothers, sometimes the phoenix i not stong enough to rise from his ashes. Sometimes I wonder if things would be differnt, if I could have just one wish.... Just one is that so much to ask for?