When I was in 5th grade, I was a happy little girl. I would play with my friends and my teachers in the schoolyard. Back then, I had no worries -- everything was butterflies and sunshine.

When I turned twelve on August 14th, right before 6th grade, my fairytale life changed; the butterflies died and the sunshine turned into darkness. I began having problems with my mom, we would argue for the stupidest things ever. She would scream at me for every little mistake I made when I was helping her do something. I’ve never like people screaming at me or telling me what to do. I would get into more trouble because I would talk back to her. We would fight 24/7. It just felt like if I had the whole world on my freaking back.

I got rid of my little-girl clothes, all pink and flowery, and traded them in for skinny jeans, black shirts, and tall white socks on the outside of my jeans. I wanted to look tough. I wanted to show my mother I was good without her and that I wasn’t the little girl she could mess with whenever she was mad or upset...

By the beginning of seventh grade, I had stopped doing my school work and I stopped caring about my grades. I would talk back to my teachers whenever they would tell me that I had potential. I laughed at my teachers amusingly when they begged me to stop acting like a follower or threatened to send me to the office. I took my anger out on my teachers, but it was really my mom who I was mad at because of all the bull*** she would tell me.

I got new friends and I wanted to be like them. They were in crews. Part of me wanted to join too, but something held me back. The thing that held me back was the need to prove my mom that I had the courage to be someone in life and prove her wrong. I was super mad and upset with her attitude but I knew that if I fallow my friends I was going to give up on myself and I wasn't going to have a chance to prove her she was wrong. I wanted to prove her that I had the courage and the balls to finish school without her.

After school, I went with my homies to Little Caesar's. We ate a delicious pizza with melted cheese. Then all of a sudden, a car pulled over and a guy got out of the car.

“Hey, little fools, where you from?” he said angryly, pointing a shiny gray gun right at us.

We didn’t know what to do. We weren’t sure if he was just playing, or if he thought we were from a rival gang and really wanted to kill us.

I was scared inside, but I didn’t want to seem afraid, so I said softly, “We’re from nowhere. We’re just here eating pizza because we don’t want to go home.” Wooo, wooooo, woooo!!!

Just then, we all turned around to the sound of a patrol siren. The police must have been following him. The cops pointed their guns at him, ordering him to put down his gun. The guy looked mad and his face turned bright red. I wondered if he was on drugs because he was acting crazy.

In that moment, I felt like my whole life was about to end…

When the cops told him for the second time to put his gun down he try to run behind a car but the cops shot him.

BOOM!!!

I tightly closed my eyes when I heard the shot. In my head, I saw myself hugging the person I love the most; my mom. I hugged her really tightly and she hugged me back. I didn’t say anything to her, I just hugged her. The feeling I had in my heart when I heard the gunshot was terrible and sickening, like the feeling you get when you eat something rotten. When I opened my eyes, I saw the guy lying face-up on the hard gray concrete with blood all over his pants. He screamed like a hawk in the early morning. Eventually, he was taken in an ambulance.
The cops asked us some questions. “Do you know him?He asked friendly.too, but something held me back. The thing that held me back was the need to prove my mom that I had the courage to be someone in life and prove her wrong. I was super mad and upset with her attitude but I knew that if I fallow my friends I was going to give up on myself and I wasn't going to have a chance to prove her she was wrong. I wanted to prove her that I had the courage and the balls to finish school without her

I became a tagger. I got caught again and again, until one time, they called my mom. They told her that she would have to come in for a meeting the next morning. I knew she would be mad when I

We told them, “No.”

That night, it was impossible to sleep; I had so many thoughts invading my peace. I could not believe that a friendly, fun neighborhood pizza place turned into a shooting scene.

All I could think was, “What would have happened if the cops had not gotten there when they did?”

I know that I probably would not be writing this story if they had gotten there any later. I felt so close to dying that day.

I thought, “How am I going to live from this day on?”

That night, as I lay awake in my bed, I decided to turn my life around and stop being a gangster. I was convinced that changing my life would be the best decision. That day showed me that my behavior could only lead to somewhere dark and lonely.


I’m really glad that I turned my life around and stopped being bad and crazy. Now, I am living the life I was supposed to live. I am working hard, getting good grades, and making myself and my family proud. For those little homies out there -- don’t try to be something that you were not born to be. Don’t try to be like your BFF’s because maybe they aren’t as nice as they look. Their attitude might take you in the wrong direction and get you into a lot of trouble.

Don’t be a follower; make something of your life. Do what’s right and I bet you that you will achieve whatever you desire. That’s what I did and look at me now... All “G” and writing my own story, soon to be a published author, and that’s just the beginning...