No really, it’s fine. Yes, I know it was an accident, I’m sorry too. Yes, I’m fine, are you? Oh good, well at least neither of us our injured.

Come on, are you kidding me?! What was he thinking? I’m pretty sure the first thing they tell you in driving school is make sure you look both ways! If you can’t see, or are not sure, obviously you don’t hit the pedal and go across a busy road. Although, judging by the color of your hair, it’s been a while since you’ve attended driving school hasn’t it?

What’s he doing now? Oh, he’s calling his trainer. Yes, thank goodness you can reschedule, heaven forbid you miss your session at the gym. Super glad you’ve got your priorities in line. Hate to break it to you mister, but maybe if you hadn’t crossed the road without looking, you could have made your date at the gym. Now the only thing you’ll be sweating over is the price of repairing your car. You can’t afford this? Try selling your Lulu sports jacket, or those three hundred dollar Nike trainers. Or better yet, drive properly, and this wouldn’t have been a problem in the first place!

Sorry, can I borrow your phone, mine is broken. Oh, excuse me, I didn’t see you were on your phone. You’re calling the police? Okay great, thanks so much!

Yes, thank you for ruining both of our cars, thank you for not looking, and thank you for choosing me to crash into.Yeah, you should say thank you to me, for not ripping your head off.

Wow, that was fast, the policeman is here already, he must have been behind that building. Yes, I agree, the police department is quite fast, what wonderful service!

Can’t even let me borrow the phone? Oh c’mon buddy, you just got us in an accident, the least you can do is let me borrow your phone to let my parents know that you just cost me over a thousand dollars. What am I going to tell them?

Great, here comes the police officer. This is going to be good. Just by the look on his face I can tell that he thinks since I’m the sixteen year old, I’m at fault. Get ready for a surprise ending big guy…

Good afternoon, Officer. Yes, it is unfortunate. Yes, we can tell you what happened.

Oh, okay, just hop on in there Lulu boy, tell him what happened.

Wait, what? That’s definitely not what happened. See that look on the officer’s face? That means he’s not buying what you’re telling him because what you just said makes no sense! I know you want to make it seem like I was the one at fault, but the evidence unfortunately displayed on both of our cars is telling a different story. I’ll take it from here, since apparently you are incapable of driving, and telling the truth.

Yes, so what he’s saying is that he was in the turn lane, going into the parking lot, and an Escalade let him in because the Escalade’s lane was backed up. But he didn’t notice that the lane next to the Escalade lane was not backed up, and since the light was green, cars, like mine, who would be turning right at the upcoming intersection, would still be moving. Unfortunately, Escalades are rather large, so he couldn’t see past it, or he could have seen that I was coming up the clear lane he was about to cross into. He then proceeded to go across the lane, even though he couldn’t see, and I went right into him.

Yes, please, Lulu boy, I dare you to beg to differ. Assuming by the look on your face, I’m guessing you know it’s a lost cause. You’re at fault, and it’s going to say it on the police report. I hate Escalades now. They’re the size of elephants for Christ’s sake, and however nice that elephant might be, he blocked your sight of view, and had a part in causing this accident. And why do they have to be that big? Almost as big as this delusional moron’s ego.

Yes, Officer, I understand that I am not at fault.

Thank you Mr. Obvious Officer! Too bad we live in a no fault state, so even if I had decided to go across a lane without looking to see if cars were coming (one more time, who would do that?) I’d be paying the same amount. There goes all my summer savings.

Okay, great, thank you very much. That’s nice that it just prints the police report out right here so we don’t have to go to the police station. How convenient. So this has all the information on it? Phone numbers and everything? Okay, awesome.

In case I want to call him and really give this guy a piece of my mind? And really awesome is the last thing this entire ordeal is. It could more accurately be described as unnecessary, stupid, frustrating, avoidable, infuriating, annoying, costly, or horrible to name a few. And I haven’t even told my parents yet.

All right, well, I guess I’ll be going then. Thanks for all your help Officer. Bye.

I really hope I never have to see either of you again.