The other day, my sixteen-year-old brother invited his friend over to our house to come “hang out” after track practice. As you are probably familiar with teenage boys, or at least have witnessed one from afar, you may be aware of the fact that their stomachs exhibit similar properties to those of a black hole—a region of space from which nothing can escape and will continue to accrue limitless amounts of matter through its strong gravitational forces. This theoretical concept can be applied to the hungry, “growing, young boy” at dinnertime, as they consume 4592829849225223 helpings of whatever is served and feel satisfied for approximately .0348 seconds, before ransacking the pantry and refrigerator for more food. The pillaging through my family’s food source process will repeat several times throughout the night, due to the fact I mentioned before: teenage boy’s stomachs are endless pits.

After vacuuming out any remnants of snack food through their hose-mouths at about 9 PM, they noticed my younger sister, at age 6, using our Easy Bake Oven to cook a peanut butter cookie. The night proceeded as so:

Chris (my brother): Tommy.
Tommy: What.
Chris: We should make a cookie!
Lucie: I can help!
Chris: Psh, we don’t need help.

I didn’t think it was possible. But lo and behold: the Easy Bake Oven is not so easy after all. It should actually be called the Easy*Bake Oven, (*Easy to some, such as to 6 year olds, but could in fact be moderately difficult if not challenging to others).

I’ll admit, it’s not quite fair to my brother that the Easy Bake Oven should come without a set of instructions located somewhere extremely convenient to where he would actually have to read it. I guess the manufacturers simply assumed that people would be able to understand how to operate such a device. Apparently, this is not so. My brother proved that a set of instructions is needed in order to operate this machinery correctly; that the toy oven may be beyond one’s “common-sense”. To inform and to preserve one’s self-esteem in the eye of the possible on looking and judgmental older sister, I devised a set of instructions on how to operate the Easy Bake Oven, to simplify one’s life in general. The long, extensive series of carefully designed steps for such a grueling process is as following:

1. Preheat Easy Bake Oven. Should take 6 minutes. All you have to do is press the “on” button.
2. Go to fridge. Open. Locate the ALREADY MADE BALLS OF PEANUT BUTTER COOKIE DOUGH prepared by Pillsbury. Take out.
3. Open package. Remove approximately one ball. Caution: may be stuck to another cookie dough ball. Carefully remove the ball of dough from the other cookie dough ball. It is essential that this step is not overlooked—that one extra crumb of another cookie dough ball could completely alter your final result.
4. Locate metal dish. It should have come with the Easy Bake Oven, so look around there.
5. Place cookie dough on metal dish.
6. Once oven is hot, insert dish into oven.
7. Start the timer for 15 minutes.
8. Wait for 15 minutes.
9. When timer beeps, wear an oven mitt and remove dish from oven. You may use your best judgment here to decide whether cookie is “ready” or not by your standards.
10. Turn off oven once cookies are deemed perfect.
11. Remove cookie from hot metal dish and place somewhere else to allow it to cool for 5 minutes. Preferably a cooling rack—it is what it is designed to do, after all.
a. Warning: cookie is hot and gooey! Don’t use your hand here! It may seem like a good idea: it’s not. Go get a spatula or fork or some other utensil to remove the cookie, anything, really.
12. Place cookie on plate. Eat. Enjoy.

My 6 year old sister was able to follow these steps and achieve a perfect cookie, only needing assistance during the hot-cookie-removal-process. I felt the need to share with you, reader, the proper set of instructions and guidance to those who need extra assistance on how to operate the ever-challenging “Easy Bake Oven” or even prepare the difficult “Pre-made” cookie dough to make an enjoyable cookie.

I understand that some of you reading this essay may be gourmet, “fancy-dancy” chefs. You were born well-equipped the skills of logic and reasoning to make a cookie, even without utilizing an Easy Bake Oven, but instead perhaps with a --dramatic music here, please-- ACTUAL, REAL OVEN! Or to even ACTUALLY MAKE COOKIE DOUGH!

We must be patient with the others, who are just learning at age sixteen the elementary steps of baking. I thought it was human nature to understand how to operate the Easy Bake Oven, but I have been wrong before.

This time, it was my brother and his friend, who managed to mess up some of the dire steps of using the Easy Bake Oven and effectively create a product that resembles a sad, failed attempt of a cookie. I didn’t think it was possible, but the somewhat crumbled/exploded, burned result made me lose faith in the human population in general. But since this depressing event I have become more understanding. It is alright if some people need a little extra assistance. They just need to be able to admit they need the help when offered, especially from the worldly and experienced 6-year-old chefs.