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Rambling Thoughts
I sit, alone, bored. Others do sit around me, but here, it’s everyone for themselves. My mind wanders, fading in and out of reality. Swirling what I wish was true and what really is. Mixing the past and the present, as I dream towards the future. The future… Something no one can ever predict perfect and exact, yet we all try. A day of nothing is what I see. That is until I return home. Then some positive memories might be made. But until then, a day that will otherwise fade into the darkness is what I go through. But that’s school none-the-less. Surrounded by people that don’t care, and for the most part, the adults are merely students that didn’t grow out of the phase of high school. A few however if you search hard enough and look closely enough to find them, do actually care. A balanced schedule prepared for the kids they teach, something that keeps them working and thoughts flowing, yet lets them learn in an open, more enjoyable environment. But the few rarely outweigh the many, so even though the supply us with a short ray of sunshine upon an otherwise hopeless day, after their allotted time is up, we as students are thrown back into the pits of hell within these halls and worst of all, at the mercy of each other. Being under similar circumstances, one would think that we would unite. Yet it only divides us further apart. Forming groups prepared to protect each one another, yet can easily engulf itself and/or break apart, In a moments notice. We are unable to connect due to our lack of freedoms taken from us for the sake of learning. Which although as far-fetched as it may seem to some, adding a little freedom could and in most cases would increase the efficiency of a learning environment and its affect on the mind, If used in a proper way. Lack of connection is also due to our thoughts and wills, controlled by those “above” us. Which is something that should be thought crazy and absurd but occurs anyway. But, for now, we all keep moving through everyday like nothing is happening, when truly everything is happening. This is the time when as a teenage student we are under attack by our parents, strange adults, anyone who feels like abusing his or her power, teachers, and as terrible as it seems, each other. But all though we all have been put into similar situations, we all act, and react in different matters. We all take in things differently than the person next to us, as they do us and others around them, and so on and so forth. Every life is different, special in some way or another, but in most every way conceivable, different. No on can truly understand another, nor should have the opportunity to judge just by that single fact alone. But we all do judge. I myself included. Though maybe not as harshly as others, thoughts do still occur. But unlike most, I control them, and do not express those thoughts, at the very least, until I know more and search a little deeper into the matter. There should be no need to search for ways to look down upon each other however, for we are (however loose the definition may be now) together. We should help, not hinder each other and ourselves. We are all amidst our own struggles and we should try to take that into consideration. That every choice made, there is a reason behind it. Any action, whether good or bad, had a reason that is also good or bad. They have no similarity except that one influences the other and visa versa. Your reasoning influences your actions and every action occurring around you, including your own, influences your reasoning. A thought that very little people think… But as I was saying, thinking…. Oh whatever, we have all gone through pain, and all loved and lost. But love, what as interesting thing. Something created in the mind, yet expressed through the heart. But love has become sadly, cliché, something tarnished. Every love no matter how strong or pure, now comes with a stain. And people say they feel it even, though they do not. Others think they have felt it, when they truly have not but never feeling it in the first place, makes it hard to understand whether or not you have. Love is something that must be awoken. Something you will know for sure when it is felt. Something that springs into life when you first meet someone, but allows you to truly learn a person before you take your first steps forward. But the thing with love is, that it is one of the few true things that should never abused, but is. For when we abuse one another, you not only add up the physical damage, but destroy their heart, and weaken there ability to love and coming with that, you cripple their trust. The top three things that shouldn’t be abused are what’s abused the most. Love, trust, and life itself. But what is life without love or trust? Well more than nothing in the sense of it being valued, but lesser than it could, and should be.
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