I was never the type of girl who could live without a backspace key. I'm always searching for an escape plan just in case, and you could almost say I live through the scribbles on the manuscript of my everyday. I make too many mistakes and have tripped too many times to be at peace with the idea of "too late". I'm ashamed to admit I run from things that have a hint of risk in them cause I'm so afraid I'm going to screw it up. I don't know when I started being afraid of failure. I can't pinpoint a specific moment, the first time I ran, but there must have been one. A moment when I chickened out for very first time, spun on my heel and decided to search for a way out instead of a way through. I don't know when I started hiding. But one thing I do know is that I was very good at it.

And then you found me.

It wasn't immediate. There was no instant connection. Honestly when we first met, I thought you were kind of weird. But slowly, bit by bit, it happened. At first through a shared smile, a laugh, an experience. Then came the conversations, conversations about our likes and dislikes, our dreams, our futures, and the delicate irony of our over-dramatic teenage existence, and through it all our thoughts, ideas and personalities were slowly revealing themselves.

We became friends.

You brought so much into my life. I can't thank you enough for that. You brought light and laughter, photographs and paintings, baggage and rollercoasters. You brought the ghosts from your past and the hope of your future and the absolute unstoppable wonder of your present. You brought secrets and new ideals and, well, lots of meaningless clutter too. I don't think I'll ever get used to tripping over your mistakes and bad days as well as mine. And I know you get tired of the walls I put up that you have run into day after day and the worn-out, closed off phrases I hide in the back of my closet and bring out for special occasions, like when I'm tired of dealing with it, or I don't want to make the effort, or I just go off into my own little world and slam the door in your face so you can't follow and yes, YES, "I'm fine, just tired."

But somehow, even through all the misunderstandings and the ridiculous drama, we make it work. And there might be some creaky spots on the floor, but there has never ever been a single crack in our foundation.

And we keep going. You help me stand tall when I want to run and my hiding places are dusty now because I haven't needed them in a long time. Now we are world travelers, brand new Everything-Enthusiasts who take on every challenge with a smile and are always searching for a word to describe that feeling when you first realize that they were pointing at you when they said "success". With our powers of youth and idealistic perception we fight against the evil forces of monotony and cynicism and in our imaginations there's nothing that can stop us from flying from Paris to the moon in one afternoon.

These days I still look for escape plans. Just in case. I still scribble out mistakes if I can and truly LOVE my backspace key. But things are different now. Because now, when its all too much, when my fears and failures spin around me so fast I get dizzy and get caught up in a whirlwind of anxiety and doubts, I know you will be there. You will offer me a shoulder to lean on if you can, a smile if that's all you have left to give. You will stay till the spinning stops. And you will give me second chances to prove that I have something to say that is worth the effort, something that I won't want to scribble out at the end of the day.

I couldn't ask for more.

Thank you.