Being a teenager is hard enough. You have your parents criticizing the way you grow up watching your every move, beating yourself up about your wonderful grades ranging from an 80-100, and of course your social life. Finding yourself is even more difficult when your hormones start raging and when you have anxiety. Anxiety is a disorder that can affect your whole life. There are many different types of anxiety disorders, but today you’re gonna read and learn about ways to cope with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). GAD is the feeling of worry all the time about everyday life. That’s how daily routines get thrown off because of the constant worry and paranoia; it can stop you from doing what you have to do. You have all these factors and emotions building up and it can negatively change your life. Guess what, you’re a teenager with GAD, and I’m a teenager with GAD too, I believe I can help you. Every fire grows from a spark and you’re that spark that grows into a strong fire!

Step 1: Attempting to smile This may sound really scary, but it’s not. In fact, this is the easiest thing in coping because all you have to do is write down your favorite things in life (favorite thing to do, favorite ice cream flavor, etc.)once you write it down I guarantee you’ll actually smile for a reason instead of pasting one on for everyone else. This is your time to stop faking and show that beautiful smile!

Step 2: Finding an outlet This is scary. I’m going to be very honest; finding an outlet is hard and frightening! The key to finding an outlet is two things:

1. something that is humanely safe

2. Something you feel so confident about that you tell yourself everyday: “I’m the best at this.”

Something that is humanely safe means NO CUTTING, NO BURNING, NO POPPING, or anything else that is a harm to you or someone else. YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL INDIVIDUAL WHO DOESN’T DESERVE to SUFFER with self-harm. If you’ve started any of these self-harming techniques I UNDERSTAND what it’s like to try to STOP. Your mind telling you it’s the only way out, feeling good and bad at the same time when you’re done for the day. It’s not easy, but if YOU BELIEVE you can get better YOU WILL GET BETTER. I BELIEVE YOU CAN GET BETTER, so PLEASE put DOWN those sharp items and bottles, YOU’RE WORTH IT. A couple of healthy outlets are writing, working on music if you’re an aspiring musician, working out, walking around the block, and art. If you have a passion that wasn’t list please pursue it! I promise you once you’re doing what you genuinely love you’ll feel SO much better! Again, make sure you’re confident, feeling good, and ensuring that it doesn’t add any extra stress/pressure-you don’t need it. All of these possibilities are possible because of YOU and YOUR OPINIONS if you like it do it, this creates a STRONG foundation for YOURSELF. CON-FI-DENCE!!!

Step 3: Focusing on other things Focusing on other things is the most difficult thing to do but it’s a MUST. Focusing on other things is difficult because one day that distraction may work and another day it may not. For weeks I felt grey because I let my anxiety get the best of me, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t listen to most of my favorite songs, worst of all I couldn’t be me. I gave up on myself and almost relapsed but I got help. I’m encouraging you all to get help when it gets rough. I was in my fourth week of feeling numb with three quizzes on the same day but, I had a good plan to study for all. Long story short I waited a day before to study so I grabbed all the work and went back and forth studying for five hours straight. I was upset at myself because out of nowhere I began to hysterically cry. I couldn’t understand anything I was studying which was five hours of my life that I will never get back. I finally gave myself a break and stopped crying, I put my I-pod on shuffle on its dock and Wu-Tang Clan started playing. I was about to change it but I got lazy and reminded myself there was reason I put them on my I-pod so I just focused on the lyrics, beat, and who was rapping (fun brain teaser.) I was bopping my head and rapping the parts that heard over and over again (I still mumbled a bit) but it definitely made me feel A LOT better! I may sound lame to some of you but I want you humans to write down your favorite artist(s), favorite group(s), favorite band(s), and finally that song that gets your heart racing each time it comes on. Remember when I said it may not always work? It’s true because I can feel energetic and be anxious too. It’s not fun your hands start to feel clammy and your heart starts to race like its training for freaking marathon! One Friday, the Friday my anxiety passed, I did laundry and cleaned my bedroom and living room. By doing that in two hours my energy and anxiety levels lowered! I want you to write down what makes you physically exhausted and do it when you feel anxious and energetic.

Step 4: Breathing Personally I hate doing breathing techniques but I’m forever told: “it’s supposed to help you physically-not mentally!” Apparently oxygen is a necessity when you are having an anxiety attack in general. Since I didn’t want to fall into some type of shock due to the lack of oxygen, I came up with a way to make breathing a mental thing as well-no it’s not yoga. One way to make breathing a mental focus is meditating. I just learned how to meditate from my therapist, Mrs. Felicia Toure, Ph.D. Here’s her meditation technique:

• Turn off your main light and put on a lamp or dimmer

• Put your body in tanning position

• Find something in the room you can fixate on, like a picture with a lot of detail.

• On that picture find ONE tiny detail and look at it

• Breathe in and out slowly and deeply while staring at the fixation

• If you stare it’s totally normal just relax!

• You’ll feel at ease when your heart rate slows down and when you do slowly unfixate on the detail in the picture. Congrats! Now you know how to meditate in seven easy steps! If that didn’t work here’s another way from Mrs. Toure:

• Turn off light and put on lamp/dimmer

• Put your body in tanning position

• Fixate on the same detail

• Starting from your feet breathe in, breathe out relaxing them

• Moving to your knees and breathe in, breathe out relaxing them

• Then, up to your hands breathe in breathe out relaxing them

• Elbows, breathe in, breathe out relaxing them

• Finally! Your shoulders, breathe in, breathe out relaxing them Wow! You are on fire with your meditating! Now you have two different ways to relax and meditate. I personally like the first way because it’s more effective for me, but it’s what works for YOU so you can get BETTER! If you’re reading this and telling yourself none of these look like they can help me well don’t worry because you haven’t discovered my way of breathing yet! I stretch when I feel depressed and stressed because that’s when my muscles give way. Stretching everything is encouraged because feeling numb can tense up your muscles and it can drain your energy. I want you to write down the body parts that affect you the most when you feel stressed/depressed/numb. I guess you can say my way is similar to Ms. Felicia but mine is more targeted and you don’t have to fixate! My Way:

Stretch out affected area for a minimum of one minute. (I say a minute because it depends on the body part and your flexibility, some muscles can tense up more or even pull so please be careful!) When stretching close your eyes and breathe slowly Clear your mind and go into a white room, in that white room there is you dressed in white surrounded by white walls, and no doors. Repeat as many times as needed!

Step 5: Get help! I know this is a self-help but sometimes helping yourself isn’t enough! Being there for yourself, being your own rock, is wonderful and an amazing quality to have; but it’s time to let someone else in. a friend, trusted teacher, and most importantly your parents! Even though they spend more time putting you on a pedestal then loving you, THEY STILL LOVE YOU! And THEY STILL CARE FOR YOU. They just want to make sure YOU”RE GOING TO BE OKAY and YOU ARE! I’m going to say it’s not easy asking your folks for help. They may overreact or even under react, whatever it is THERE IS ALWAYS HELP AND THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE. If your parents don’t work give them some time to cool off because, they can’t process this in a day it’s hard. Go to someone else so they can immediately help you and explain to your parents what’s going on with you. A friend, teacher, hotline, family doc, someone you can trust and who is willing to help. There is ALWAYS someone. You’ll NEVER go through this ALONE. I know I have you writing a lot, but one last thing I want you to do is write down two or more names of people you can trust that can help. It’s hard and upsetting sometimes to realize who is really there for you, and who is really not but just try. Always remember you can ALWAYS put me down on your list I’ll never let you down. You’re a spark that’ll grow into a STRONG fire and get BETTER. For now, we can take it day by day breathing slowly….TOGETHER. YOU’RE WORTH IT!

Other helpful tips: Drinking herbal tea

Taking showers

Laughing

Singing (to alleviate stomach nerves)

Helpful hotlines:

Suicide prevention- (800)-273-8255 (TALK)

Grief- (800)-784-2433

Trusted person