What I Have Learned | Teen Ink

What I Have Learned

February 21, 2014
By marshmallowheart27 SILVER, PORTLAND, Oregon
marshmallowheart27 SILVER, PORTLAND, Oregon
7 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everyone is banging a girl and I'm banging a lamp named Henry"


I have horror stories I tell myself when I get scared, just so the fear will over take me. I bought Hair dye and new clothes in the hopes to change myself. No such luck it was still me when I looked in the mirror. Once I broke a mirror and I believed I would have seven years of bad luck. I cried. Twice I believed in luck. I've been scared of angles. I'm not always me. I witnessed myself as a motionless statue. I looked into my eyes and screamed until the statue crumbled. I've heard people tell me they love me. I've heard myself tell people I loved them. I didn't always mean it. Neither did they. I tell you sincerely people are always changing. I have the idea that is what makes life beautiful. I love writing because you can tell your secrets. Sometimes you tell secrets you didn't even know you had. I lost hope in people, humanity, the world.... me for a time. I learned what it means to question reality. Once I tried drugs. I learned what it's like to be crazy. I never did them again. Once I drank. I learned what it meant to be numb. Twice I threw up. I learned that can't be the only way to be ok. I've spent months asking if life is worth it. I don't ask that anymore. I've had some set backs. I learned that's ok. I've lost some parts of me. I learned that's ok. I've bought into my worst thoughts. I learned it's ok. I witnessed myself hurt the people I loved. I learned that the people who love you will always come back. I will testify that the moon can guide you back to the day. Once I held a tiger. Once I held a cobra. Once I held an exotic bird. Holding my puppy is still the best. I've heard drama as it circles around my life. I'm not prefect. I learned I don't want to be. I've held a lighter up to my hand in the hope to feel the burning heat for a moment. Once I had a kind of hunger that would never go away, one that could never be satisfied, it was an emptiness. I've made life decisions based on the flip of a coin. I'm indecisive. Once I was saved by music. Twice I was saved by love. I found a children's water bottle with dinosaurs on it. It had been left on the ground. For some reason I felt bad for that forgotten water bottle. I felt for that water bottle. Once my cousin gave me faith in the world because she picked that water bottle up and kept it. I've lived in the memories that will forever stay with me. Twice I got stuck there. Sometimes the past seems better than the future. I lost the best friend necklace I shared with someone who was once my life. To this day I haven't found that necklace. I used to be sad. Now I'm ok. I tell you sincerely that life can be ok. I've found my way to the center of the labyrinth.


The author's comments:
This was originally written as an English assignment and is actually the second part to the full paper. When I was writing it I mostly just thought about all my random thoughts that come and go all the time.

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