There are challenges that come into our lives, I call them big events. They change us, they challenge us. These things that come into our lives mold us into the people we are, but they crush us. They often times break us down until we don’t think we can go on, but we are wrong. I always remind myself, it could have been so much worse. I was paralyzed with fear, but not truly paralyzed. I could have died, but it was not life threating. So many loose so much more.

My big event has already happened, one of them anyway. February, 7, 2011 was a day I will never forget. For weeks I had been suffering from a head ache and I couldn’t feel my hands and arms. I was already having trouble walking and the doctors in my town didn’t know what to do. It was discovered that I had a brain malformation. My brain had dropped down into my spinal column. So on the 7th I went to the children’s hospital and had brain surgery. The surgeon removed a part of my scull and my top vertebra.

I remember waking up. The pain was completely different, the pain that was a part of my life night and day was gone. It was replaced with new pain, pain caused by an incision. It was a good pain, it meant that things would get better. This decision that scared me would be one of the best things I had ever done. I don’t really want to brag about it, how great it was and how I was so strong, that would be a lie. The whole thing was pretty bad; most of the time I felt like I was going to puke. I’m pretty sure I was mean to my family, but the drugs I was on kind of blurred everything together. I won’t give you the boring details. I don’t want to make you feel bad for me, that’s not my goal. I want to give you hope, because everyone will have a big event. When it comes, you will never be the same.

My life after the surgery was different, but at first not very much different. It had sort of a ripple effect. At first, it only affected the things you would expect. Things like the number of people coming over, or where I slept. After a while though the ripples went out and they expanded to reach the parts of my life I didn’t want them to. They reached the parts of my life I never thought they would. This ripple reached my friends. In this situation I would say it’s normal for you social life to change, people are worried they might offend you. When you walk down the halls at school they clear out of the way and stare at you. That’s how it was for me anyway. I don’t blame them and I’m sure they had no idea that it hurt my feelings. I’m sure it was very strange for them, all my classmates. One day I was there at school happy and vibrant, the next I’m just gone. I didn’t say goodbye so I must not have moved. No I just dropped off the face of the planet. I didn’t go to school for 6 weeks. When I finally got back I was thin and pale, when you add the big incision down my neck I was probably a pretty interesting display. As I said before the ripple reached out to my friends, my best friends got mad at me, they said that my surgery had made me popular. Okay yes that is why I did it, to more popular. What I never understood and will never understand is why they thought I had brain surgery to become more popular. I think that was what hurt the most, they thought I was that shallow. After that one of them said people thought I was faking that was the last straw, I broke down and became secluded I wrapped myself up, I put layer after layer up so that the real me was behind many walls. It is something I still struggle with. I think I always will.

The ripple moved to my sports, let’s just say they are not my sports any more.

Eventually the ripples stopped, but I stood there in the debris of what it left behind, and slowly I put the pieces back together. If you have ever seen the children’s movie Wallie it was sort of like that. I found a plant in a destroyed world, my plant was my faith. Every day I physically grew stronger, but I grew as a person, too. I made new friends, I started to golf, and my faith continued to grow. I know I will be okay. I understand how sick people feel now. I am a much better person.

I was changed by my event. I hope the things that come into your life change you too.