Nights melt into days. Days fade into nights. Again and again the cycle continues. Unlike time, reality is no longer a part of my daily routine. I push it to the side and bury it under a thick layer of repression and denial. I can hear my mother's heart being ripped apart by the cruel black hands of fate. My head pounds as the world shatters into shards of glass around me. Each fragment splinters into more and more pieces until they find their way into my flesh. I scream. I cry. Nothing helps alleviate the pain. I pray for this all to be a dream. Just one big horrible nightmare. But I just can't wake up and I can't shake off the shadow of sorrow that has burrowed into my soul. I can't! I can't! I can't! All I keep hearing myself say is "I can't". Everything  I've ever accomplished was done with his help. Every achievement  I owe to him. My life, my breath, my very  existence I  owe  to him. Now suddenly and abruptly I'm pushed out of the tree and forced to fly without any prior notice. From childhood to adulthood in a link of an eye. I was a princess before, my every need was taken care of. What will I do without my servant? Without my kingdom? Without my king? Even the thought of him can't be held onto for long. Not without a wave of tears flowing from my eyes and forming an ocean of misery at the feet of my hollowed body. Even my dog is traumatized. She stays so close to me that we could be mistaken for a pair of Siamese twins.  Every step I take, she takes. Every move I make, she makes. Like my own personal stalker she follows me. I chew on the idea of being reunited one day and that's all that nourishes me. Until the day we meet again. I will always love and miss him. I will always need my dad.