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The Activist, The School, and Divorce.
As I think things over, there is something I realize, my life has never exactly been normal. For example, how many children’s parents have been divorced more than once? Gone to a private school but left two years before they graduated? Have had their father go to the Supreme Court? These are the topics that have influenced my identity the most: my father activism, going to a private school, and my mother being divorced multiple times. These are also the topics I would not change about myself, because without them I would not be me.
To start, what is activism? “[A]ctivism is quite simply taking action to effect social change; this can occur in a myriad of ways and in a variety of forms. Often it is concerned with ‘how to change the world’ through social, political, economic or environmental change. This can be led by individuals but is often done collectively through social movements” ("Introduction to Activism"). My father, a huge activist, advocates against ***** and ******. He has been arrested many times and gone to the Supreme Court for “**** *****” where the decision took months to make but finally in **** the court made their decision in which my father lost his court case.
Personally, I agree with the Huffington Post in that, “[W]hile I personally find [my father's] message repugnant, I am nonetheless in?favour?of his being able to peacefully express his religious and political opinion on teachings about ****** in public schools, without being silenced by the government and forced to pay tens of thousands of dollars in damages” (Soupcoff). This means that while I do not agree with my dad, I don’t really mind him speaking out against it, unless he drags me along with him which has happened more than once. One time it even got me news where some of my friends’ parents saw me and now do not like me. Thankfully the news story only said, “ ***and his supporters also protested with signs outside the courthouse before proceedings began” (News), but if you watched the news you would have seen me as much as I tried to hide. In the end, he is a lunatic activist who likes to advocate against ridiculous causes but in spite of this he is still my father.
On the other hand the private school I attended, is very sheltered. It maintained my innocence for years, giving me different morals than kids who went to a public school. While some people would say that it is good, the truth is, “[C]hristianity was never meant to be sheltered behind impenetrable fortresses, totally removed from the culture wherein it dwells” (Esther). The private school is exactly an impenetrable fortress, I went to the school from kindergarten until Grade 10, and I notice the way I think is slightly different from other kids.
However, “the truth is that kids are kids. Just because you’re in a Christian school does not mean your child is surrounded by good influences” (Esther). Honestly, I was a delinquent at the private school, the person I am now was not the person I was then. Left to my own devices, I revert back to having good grades and am a nice person, there I was not. I had very low grades and got detention literally, almost every day. I was considered one of the “slackers “or “bad kids” who talked to my friends the whole class, never did my work, and who had no respect for authority.
During all of this, I still had to deal with my mother`s multiple divorces. The first time my mother got divorced I was four. A study done by Hetherington observed, “144 preschool children, half from recently divorced maternal-custody families and half from continuously married two-parent families. During the first year of the study, the children with divorced parents exhibited more behavioral and emotional problems than did the children with continuously married parents. Two years after divorce, however, children with divorced parents no longer exhibited an elevated number of problems (although a few difficulties lingered for boys). Despite this temporary improvement, a later wave of data collection revealed that the remarriage of the custodial mother was followed by additional problems among the children, especially daughters” (Philpott). The only problem with this study is that my mom remarried again when I was seven, just three years after she had gotten divorced to my biological father. At this point, I would only see my dad three times a year on my birthday, thanksgiving and Christmas, all for one day. Now I had a new father, who I did not like.
My step father, better known as ***, also did not like ***, my younger sister, and I. He had three children from his previous marriage who he treated better by giving them treats and rarely punishing them. *** really only loved my mom, the night after his marriage he emailed my biological father telling him that my sister and I were not his responsibility; my father did not tell my mom this because it was not his place. Four years later, my step father and my mom divorced because he cheated on her. Now, fast forwarding to last year, another four years after ***, my mom met ***. While *** and my mom are not currently married they are planning too, the difference this time is that my sister and I like him. *** has no kids himself and he treats us better taking a place in our life unlike our ex stepfather.
I do resent my ex stepfather in some ways but I disagree with psychologists that say, ““I’ve treated many teenage girls whose fathers cheated, had an affair and breached trust….in these instances, the daughters are very angry at their fathers and are greatly challenged to forgive” (Philpott). I’m not angry at him, and I’m not angry with my father. Life runs its course and I believe that everything happens for a reason. What I do agree on is that children of multiple divorces, “develop some special skills…they learn how to get along in diverse situations…how to problem solve, they learn independence. For many children of divorce -- including multiple divorces -- their resilience means that they will move forward like other kids” (Kecskes). Having these “special skills” (Kecskes) come at a price I had to deal with people constantly coming in and out of my life and now I am not as attached to people as I use to be.
On the whole, even though my life has never exactly been normal, I do not regret any part of it. If I did not have an activist as a father, I would not think for myself or have my own opinions. If I had not gone to Christian school, I would not have the strong foundation for faith that I do now, and if I had not had my mother divorce multiple times I would not have the independence I do now. In the end, having an activist for a father, going to a Christian School, and having my mother divorce multiple times, each have help me grown in different ways. I would not be who I am without each and every experience in my life influencing and molding me to become the independent person I am today.
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This is my life, this is not the original copy of my writing and I'm sorry I censored it so much but it is necessary.