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Log Thirty-five
Yesterday, a student from the same highschool of mine, drowned. Everyone seems so...forget it, I don’t know of an accurate word. I didn’t know him any more than once or twice a glimpse in the passing hallways, but his death still disturbed me. A similar situation occurred five years ago; the summer after my sister and her friend graduated, her friend’s mother died in a car crash. I never met the woman and less than barely knew the friend, but I cried terribly that night.
This morning i woke up and it was the first thing on my mind. I took a moment to configure it’s reality until I realized it would be too sweet if I was dreaming. And I can’t stop doing what I do:blame myself. When I first understood what had transpired I asked myself, “What was I doing when it happened?” Even if it’s just a subconscious fantasy of appearing before it was too late and saving the day, but then waking up and realizing that was not the way things went down. I don’t know who is answering the prayers around here, but this is not what wanted.
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