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This Is It.
There I was... laying there silently in denial. Thinking maybe if I close my eyes I would be back where I was the night before when I opened them back. As I replay moments from the months before, it seemed as if it happened so fast.
June 17, 2013
We were in the car, it was a normal day. We were on our way home, my mom and I. As I have my music turned loud it overpowered my mom’s voice, turning it down I begin to hear her say "So how do you feel about moving?" Me not having much comment on the subject I just reply with "I don’t know." Not one part of me believed that we would move regarding the fact we've been in the same house for 4 years. With the thoughts of me ditching my life, friends, and school to start over fresh, it was like it was a big joke.
As I close my eyes all I can think of are the messages between me and my best friend for two years. It wasn’t until we started looking at houses that I had decided to tell Alex. Nothing could explain the hurt I felt as I sent a message to him saying "Alex... I have to tell you something..." as I waited for a reply it wasn't but seven minutes until he messaged back "What’s up ??" All I could think was how much this would impact our friendship, we were really close, so close that we referred to each other as brother and sister. "I’m moving... idk when but I am... we’re looking for houses now..." I told him. I could tell the hurt and shock he felt as he could only reply with "...what..." and I knew our friendship would weaken after I did move and so did he.
August 27, 2013
"Thank God I get to go to Southwest" is all I could think as I waited for the bus to arrive at the school. All throughout the school day I was glad and excited knowing I was at Southwest for the beginning of my 8th grade year with me picking up my life where I had left it at the end of 7th grade. Alex and I continued to get and stay close with nothing tearing us apart. As we sat on the bleachers he asks with a curious yet worried face "Not to be rude because I want you to stay, I really do but weren't you supposed to move?" With the fact it had been two months since I told him I said "Yeah we're still looking for a house.." and he looked down at his feet with a pause before he said anything back, "oh..." The bell rang so we did our hug and 'see you during switch' goodbye and went on.
October 1, 2013
It wasn't but three months into the school year that we found a house. I and Alex were already texting so I sent a message showing I was upset so he'd ask what was up. "What’s wrong? Are you okay?" he asked. "Alex... I’m moving, we saw a house the other night... and well my parents put an offer and we got it..." I replied back becoming even more upset but not showing any emotion so I wouldn't get asked by anyone else what was wrong. Alex had no words to say "......" he replied with dots to show he was upset and speechless. “I don’t want to go..." I said to him. "I don’t want you to either, I love you sis...” he replied. I said “I love you Alex...” never did we say "I love you too" because to us the "too" meant to a certain amount.
October 23, 2013
Here I was at Kings Mountain Middle School. I was officially starting fresh, the only difference between how I was doing now is I was alone. No friends, no Alex, no image, I was a nobody who had nobody. After a few days I ran into an old friend from elementary and Southwest, Jimmy. He had become all I had down here; we ended up going from acquaintances to best friends in a few months. Nothing big happened for the rest of the school year. I had Jimmy, me and Alex were fighting for our friendship to stay the way it was, for as long as we could.
January 15, 2015
We have barley talked for the past few months but today we finally spoke. Only a few messages into me and Alex's conversation and it was the end. Not only did we end our conversation but we ended our friendship. I had my friends Jimmy, Jesse, and DeAnna to help me through it. It wasn’t until two months after that I thought maybe this is why I came here. For them Jimmy, Jesse, and DeAnna. This is it, this is my life, these are the people life led me too. These are the events life has brought me through with only these people for me to fall back on. This is it.
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This is a mix of two different stories, me moving and dropping my life and me losing my best friend in the process. Everyone mentioned is someone who is real and their position in my life is something that can’t be completely described by words.