I looked at the chemo dripping into the IV line that was attached to her mother. My feelings were mixed, I did not know what was going to happen to my mother. Father had told me Mom has cancer, breast cancer. Mom had gone through surgery before, and they thought it was gone, but now it’s back. Father sat across from me holding Mom’s hand as she slept. The doctors said that she was going to get better, but it doesn’t seem true to me. I always feel like I am going to cry, but Dad had said that I have to be strong for Mom.

The nurses always come in and ask if I want something to drink or told me that Mom was going to get better. The chemo had taken her hair, her beautiful, thick blonde hair. She looked so frail, like anything could break her now. She had pale, rubber, like skin. It scared me to think that I might lose her. If I had looked closely, I could have seen her veins like they were going to crawl out of her body any second. The hospital room was bland, white walls, white bed, blue grey furniture, and brown cabinets. That’s what the room looked like every time I went to see my mom.

Before she had gotten sick again, my mom was beautiful. She had lengthy, abundant blonde hair. She was tall, 5’ 2”; she was always smiling, like an angel from heaven. I always could tell she was in love with my dad. She was and still is the best mom in the world. She loved to be outside all day and night if she could, but Dad never let that happen. He always wanted to sleep by his wife. She loved to garden. Lilies were her favorite flower.

People have asked me where my mom was; when I invite them over. I tell them she had been sick. They ask, “With what?”

I tell them, “Cancer.”

The people I thought were my friends were now laughing at me saying that I am going to get cancer and have spread rumors about it. I thought they were my friends. They would be supportive of me and my family right now.

I hate my mom. I wish she never got sick in the first place, or this would have never happened and I still would have my friends. I wish I had a different mom. I don’t care that Dad says we have to be supportive of her right now. She shouldn’t have gotten sick in the first place. So I wouldn’t be in this mess now.

Mom is coming home today, and I have no one to celebrate this with. I wish my friends hadn’t spread thoughts rumors about me and my family. We had made everything easily reachable for her, so when we’re not home she can still get around the house. She will be home by the time school is out for the day. The bullying is getting really bad now. They say I am going to die, and no one is giving me any sympathy when I tell them it is my mom who is dying. My dad says I have to keep my chin up, and don’t let the bully’s see that I am upset and feel like crying. Which I’m trying to do, but it’s hard when you get slammed with new insults day after day. I try to tell a teachers or the principal, but all said is that I am trying to get attention.

Mom is starting chemo again the doctors think the cancers getting worse. Dad is trying to be strong but he is breaking down. I think I need to be the strong one of the family now, but it’s going to be hard to do. Now that my parents are breaking down in front of me. Dad has gotten me out of school. He told the school that he and mom need me now. So now all I have to do is pick up my school work from the office and leave, I mean I’m not complaining about not going to school.

I sit in Mom’s room and do my work while Dad talks to the doctors. Mom is usually asleep while I do my homework and if she is awake I make her laugh when I don’t get a problem

on a work sheet, she’ll help me in the end. Sometimes I get done with my homework. Then stare at her and the IV line with the chemo dripping down into her arm. I try not to cry in front of her but it always happens. She comforted me by holding me close even though she was frail and weak. I had told her about my ex-friends, and how they started to spread rumors about me and how the teachers are doing nothing. Mom had said as soon as she gets out of the hospital, she will go over to the school and slap all the teachers for what they didn’t do.

Dad let me drive home for the night, and he stayed with Mom. Mom was proud of me when I passed on my driving test. I guess I just needed time alone, because when I got home I bawled my eyes out. I wish I had someone to share my feelings with. I wish I had never given my best friend up for popularity. I was so stupid just wanting to be popular, it caused me to lose my best friend I ever had.

I called my old best friend up and told her everything. Let’s just say she was surprised that I had called her and she had told me she would be right over. It had only taken her 20 minutes to get to my house, she let me cry on her shoulder and tell her about everything that happened in the past year. She had told me to forget about the people who spread rumor about me, and that her family would be there if we needed anything. We painted each other’s nails and talked all night thank goodness it was the weekend. She ended up staying the night, not like I cared I liked the company.

In the morning we went our separate ways, she went home and I went back to the hospital. They apparently moved Mom to a different hospital last night so I called my dad and franticly asked him where they went. He said they went to the St. Croix hospital and to get there immediately. I rushed to get to them as fast as I could. When I got to the hospital Dad greeted me in the lobby with a depressed look on his face, dry tears on his cheeks. His shoulders drooping and the twinkle in his eye gone.

I asked him, “Dad what’s wrong.”

Dad whispered, “Mom is not going to get better.”

As I watched my mom slowly and painfully die. I began to hate cancer in all its variety, as she slowly died. As I saw her smiling at me, I couldn’t help but hug her one last time. I hate cancer, why did it have to exist.

“Paul, take good care of my little girl, you hear,” She said weakly.

“I always will Debbie,” snuffled Dad, while rushing to hug all of us for the last time as a family. Before she died and we lost her forever to her cancer. I will always miss her no matter where I am she will always be my mom.