Social Anxiety | Teen Ink

Social Anxiety

June 20, 2015
By Anonymous

"You have anxiety? Just stop being nervous."


"It's all in your head."


"That's not a real disorder."


"Get over it."


I have heard these, and similar statements said to me time and time again. When people think of a disability, they think of either physical, such as any type of deformity, or mental, in the case of down's syndrome. People overlook anxiety without even knowing what it does to a person.


Social anxiety has you avoiding eye contact in a supermarket, fearing someone will judge what you are buying. Every time you hear people laughing, you automatically think they're laughing at you. Just calling someone on the phone or ordering in a restaurant is a very difficult and stressful task. At times, it can even make you physically sick. It forces you to cancel plans last minute with your friends because you just can't force yourself to face people. It results in a fear that you have no real friends.


Since middle school, when I realized that my so-called "friends" actually hated me, I've had a strong fear about making friendships. "What if no one really likes me? What if they just feel sorry for me? I must annoy them... I repeat myself often, I never have anything interesting to say, I don't add to the conversation at all... I just take up space." Even with the close friends that I have, I feel this way from time to time. There are so many times where I've cancelled plans with my best friend because I felt physically sick and couldn't get myself to leave my room.


Admitting your fears and anxiety can be almost as hard as keeping it locked up. I've had several people tell me to just "stop thinking about it." If it were that easy, I would have done that a long time ago. The worst feeling is to open up to someone you are close to, and to have them laugh in your face or make fun of you for feeling that way.


Telling a person with anxiety to "stop being nervous" would be like telling someone in a wheelchair to "just get up and walk". Would you ever think to tell someone with a physical disability to get over it? Then what's the difference with a mental disorder? Think before you judge.


The author's comments:

Living with social anxiety can be very challenging, and I wanted to express this.


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