"The obvious can kick rocks". The last words I read before my whole world came crashing down. He said I could never be replaced. He said that if it ever came between me or someone else, I'd be first pick, Because I was here from the start. What he didn't mention was that those were promises he couldn't keep. 

"Can't talk to you anymore", The words after telling me how I was set in stone & going no where. What changed within my reply to that being your response. What could she possibly have that I did not ? Am I not good enough? Or was I naive for believing someone cared? No, I was not. 

Those words that I read & chose strongly to believe were for the simple reason of trusting another. Although, not just any other, my best friend. The person that I would grow old & cause havoc on the earth with. The person I call up crying hysterically because the boy I liked asked another girl to the dance instead of me. The person who's house I'd walk to either early in the morning or late at night so we can order food & have a movie day. So, no, I do not believe I was naive in believing what I heard, read, or actions I seen. I was simply deceived & in a way manipulated into someone falsely portraying there care for me. 

I still remember the feeling, when I received that message. My heart stumbled down a flight of stairs & refused to move. My hands & body started shaking as would an elder with severe arthritis trying to carry a glass cup of water from their kitchen to their bedroom. Any food I attempted to get down, managed to make it's way up. The tears that ran down my face, just kept running as if it was April, & they had been training for Penn Relays for months. My eyes bloodshot red, as if I were pepper sprayed or thrown in a tomato bath. I was a complete & utter mess. I laid in bed that night, trying to deny everything & imagine waking up to the whole situation just being a dreadful nightmare. 

The next morning when I woke up, I knew i deluded myself & this was beyond reality. My eyes still swollen, & most words mumbled. Majority of all responses that day were hesitated & some even ignored. The only thought that managed to make it's way through my mind was, I just lost my best friend. After that, I have managed to completely shut & block myself from most feelings. The thought of being hurt like that again, or someone coming into my life, being there, then leaving like it's nothing. I refuse to let myself get too attached to a person, a human being. I will not let a physical term, control me mentally. I will not suffer another great loss.