I’ve been asked on several occasions, “What’s depression feel like?” Well imagine running into a room full of people screaming to the top of your lungs and no one hears or even looks your way. Imagine drowning in a pool surrounded by life guards yet no one thinks twice about coming to save you. Imagine being rushed to the hospital gushing blood yet the secretary doesn’t even look up, she just waves you to the waiting room. Have I gotten my point across?
  

Depression is mentally crying for help, but not physically being able to do anything about it.

It’s waking up in the morning wondering “Why get up, when today’s going to be just like yesterday?” Then laying back down because you don’t have the mental strength to deal with that thought. It’s waking up and not feeling the urge to do anything because you can’t feel.

You eventually become numb and after a while it’s not just mentally, it’s physically too.
   

I have seen many people get put through hell because of the scars on their wrists, thighs, arms, stomach, and chest. Most people see it as “You’re trying to kill yourself.” In most situations that’s not the case. They-We can’t feel and that physical pain is the only thing that lets us know “hey, I’m still here.” Watching the blood drop on the floor, knowing that there’s still a person in us. We’re just no longer bound together.
     

And it hurts because it’s so awful to think that we are all living, yet many have needed a comfort of a blade just to feel alive. And I know many will read this and think “just get over it”, but whether you choose to believe it or not depression is an illness. You don’t and can’t just get over it. You can be having the best day ever and then just get sad, but ten times worse.

Because when you’re sad there’s always hope to be cheered up.
    

When you get depressed out of nowhere you don’t even want to talk, move, nothing. Although the doctors try saying it will go away, they lied. Depression never really goes away, you just get used to it and adjust. You eventually learn how to maneuver through life depressed and still keep going with the hopes of a better day even if you know there might not be one. You just kind of go with the flow, until you’re content enough to control it.
     

Not many are as lucky: they can’t go with the flow and often end up in mentally worse places than others and are now no longer with us. Do I blame them? No not at all. Depression is a dangerous battle. Do I wish they could’ve hung in there a little longer and fought harder? Yes, but not all battles were meant to be won.
    

But if you happen to be reading this, please don’t let depression win. Fight. Fight. And then fight some more. When it knocks you down, get back up, brush yourself off, and ask “Is that your best hit?” Don’t give up, and even though it may feel everyone would be better off without you and no one notices you, I promise it’s not true. You just have to fight long enough to see it. I won’t tell you that there will be better days because there might not be, but there will be a better day. And that day will open you up to be ready for the better days that you choose. Just keep swimming, as Dory would say. We can’t give up now. Don’t let depression win.