Whenever I sat in the audience watching girls dancing upon the stage in their pink pointe shoes, sparkling under the bright, white lights, and bringing the music to life, I dreamed of the day I could dance like them. I never lost sight of my goal from the first time I thought, ‘I want to dance like that! I want to dance like that!’  Most people probably don’t see the accomplishment of dancing “en pointe,” but to a young ballerina this goal will never change.  In dance class, my dream began when I was four years old and ballet was first introduced to me.  I dressed up in my light blue leotard and tights, slipped on my soft ballet shoes, and was ready to go.

Dancers don’t just get to sign up and join pointe.  They have to go through years of training and audition for a spot in a pointe class. For four years when I was younger, ages four to seven, I took ballet.  After those four years of dance, I bowed out and introduced gymnastics into my life.  At that part in my life, I didn’t realize I would regret quitting dance, but about seven years later when I was fourteen, I realized that I shouldn’t have quit dance.  As years passed and I entered high school, I longed to dance again.

It had been years since I stepped foot in the dance studio, and my stomach turned unquestionably with nervousness.  However, I’m very glad that I fought my fears and started dancing again.  Even though I quit dance for a few years, I hoped to become a pointe dancer.  After a year of ballet, I was challenged to be in a pointe prep class.  This was a huge deal to dance en pointe.  Pointe prep is a class once a week that I had to attend along with normal ballet class.  The goal of the pointe prep class was for the teachers to observe who is strong enough to dance in pointe shoes and to see who has the proper technique to make it to the next level. 

A group of twenty young girls dressed in soft black leotards and pink tights just praying to be part of the next class of pointe dancers. With our long hair twisted into ballet buns, we showed up to class our minds nervously excited to see what the future would hold.  Every class began the same way; we dancers walked to the back of the damp room, grabbed the ballet barres, and carried them to the center of the gray floor.  We lined up on each side, our hands shaking as we touched the smooth barre hesitant of what our instructor would make us execute. Until our red sore toes and tired legs couldn’t work anymore, we did plies and relevés like a broken machine.  This class definitely proved the athleticism that a dancer needs to be able to stand in pointe shoes.  Willing to do whatever it took, the same group of girls showed up every week with our blistered feet, tight muscles, calloused toes, and hopeful heavy hearts.  At the end of the four weeks of pointe prep, an evaluation takes place.  The instructors examine every girl and select the ones who they feel are ready to become pointe dancers.  The evaluation lasted one day, but the decision lasted a couple weeks. 

“You’ll be getting an email telling whether or not you made it into pointe,” our dance teacher Sissie explained to us before class.  Included in our evaluation, she even took notice of every move we made in our regular ballet class.  Pointe requires proper technique 24/7, not just for one day, so every girl had to prove that she had the strength and knowledge to dance en pointe. 

‘Shoulders down, point your toes, turn out, pull up, breathe,’ a constant reminder ran through my head during every ballet class.  Sitting in Spanish class one day, particularly not paying attention, I decided to check my email.  I saw I had an email from my mom, so I opened it.  A huge smile spread across my face when I read it; I made pointe.

“These are the most uncomfortable shoes,” Sissie, my dance teacher, explained to the seven girls who passed the evaluation, “you will ever wear.”  I will never forget my first pointe class.  It felt like we stood on our toes forever. 
“My toes feel numb,” shouted Audree,  “and sore!”

“My legs won’t stop shaking!” added Hannah.  I felt the same way, and I thought my toes were getting chopped off.  I realized the strength it took to stand on my toes and how not everybody passes the pointe evaluation. 
At the end of the year, the most thrilling part of becoming accepted into pointe is getting to dance in the pointe production during the dance recital.  Pointe production, a three-minute routine that consists of the pointe company, pointe prep, and the other pointe classes, performs right after intermission.  At the dance studio, company is the highest level of pointe.  These girls are the dancers whom everyone looks up to; they have been in pointe the longest.  Pointe prep is the first level of pointe dancing.  It is where we learn all the ins and outs of pointe.  There are two other pointe classes in between company and pointe prep.  These girls have been dancing longer than pointe prep and are trying to work their way up to the company level.  Pointe is dancing on needles, but I love being on stage under the bright, hot lights sweating, and smiling, doing what I love.

As I look back on my dance year from starting pointe prep to being able to display the final product on stage at the end of the season, it remains my favorite part of the year.  Being with my friends on the stage, ripping our hearts out for two minutes like we don’t need them to live is an emotion only a dancer can understand.  I know that amount of hard work and strength it takes to be able to own a pair of pointe shoes, and I will never take for granted my ability to dance. 

I stood backstage in the curtains, breathing hard, preparing to take the stage for the ending portion of pointe production: ‘One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight bourre across the stage.  One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight arabesque to the left.  One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight pas de bourree into sous sous; I think, hold until the curtain closes.’  Arms in high fifth and a smile stretched across my face, I glanced into the audience and saw a little four-year-old girl in awe about what is happening on stage.  I saw the hope in her eyes of becoming a pointe dancer just like a little girl I knew ten years ago.