What is fear and what does it mean to have fear? According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, fear is defined as being afraid or worried (of something or someone). While some people have cliché fears such as spiders, clowns, the dark, and even in-laws, there is one fear that specifically most teens share: adulthood. Contrary to popular belief, this does not mean being heartbroken over not being able to watch SpongeBob Squarepants every day after school anymore; it isn’t even just having to open the door to a whole new world, but rather closing one on everything we’ve ever really known. At one moment, we believed in Santa Claus and the tooth fairy, then all of a sudden, we’re old enough to vote and drive without adult supervision because we are now the adult. On a more personal note, at one point in my life, my parents were holding my hand as I crossed the street, brushing my hair, and carrying me to my room when I’d fallen asleep on the couch. Although they’ve long stopped doing such things, the idea of unlimited freedom, the future, the repercussions of mistakes that I’m bound to make, and the end of a simple life is a bit overwhelming. 

At this time in my life, I’m making a decision most would say is one of the most important decisions I will ever make, if not the most important. It’s the decision that many believe could affect my life from the job I choose to whom I may decide to marry: college. Although there comes some great joy in what is described as the “best days of my life”, there also comes great sadness and anxiety. Being that I’m the youngest of the first generation in my family, I’ve seen multiple cousins go off to college, or cousins that had graduated when I was toddler tell me stories of their college experience. For some, ultimate freedom means more opportunity, while in most other cases, it means time wasted slacking off. Although I’m confident I will remain focused on my work, the endless possibilities and being on my own are mind-blowing. Despite this ultimate freedom, a chance to make new friendships, and the time to create more opportunities, college also means being away from the only place I’ve ever truly known as home; it means not being able to just go home and cry to my parents over the serious and/or silly things that life throws at me. Even though adults get sad just like teenagers, it seems as if being an adult takes this child-like privilege away, forcing me to deal with the cold, harsh world alone.

Where the discussion of college comes also comes the thought of the future. Perhaps the most terrifying aspect of adulthood is not being able to bounce back from mistakes as easily as it was in high school. While I may make mistakes every day, transitioning into a more responsible role seems to leave little room for mess-ups; this idea mostly comes from the fear that one little mistake could cost me the future I’ve had planned out for myself for so long. I’ve encountered dozens of adults who either didn’t go to college or dropped out and are now struggling to get back on the track they’d started years before.  Most claim they dropped out because college just wasn’t for them at the time, while others claim it’s because they got behind in their studies. Whereas there is time to recover from inefficient grades in high school or in the lower grades, college leaves little room for the careless grades I may have been able to recover from in high school. Although it is natural for everyone to make mistakes, there is one thing all mistakes have in common, regardless of age: repercussions. As a minor, making mistakes such as missing a few days of class or not studying for one important test can be made up, but the strictness that comes with college work and jobs causes an endless cycle of stress. Although this may be viewed as overthinking, where adulthood comes, so does critical life decisions and how I handle mistakes.

Perhaps the most saddening moment of transitioning into adulthood is leaving a simpler world behind. As a child, all I’ve had to worry about is showing up to school on time, keeping my room clean, and relaxing while my parents took care of me. I’ve never had worry about having a job and paying bills. Now that I’m teetering on the brink of adulthood, the stresses of the world have begun to show its ugly head. Although there are much greater fears than teenagers dreading the burdensome responsibilities that come with growing into a more responsible adult, it proves to be as much of a problem as someone who fears heights, the dark, or clowns.