Additions to the family; whether it is a pet, a new sibling or a relative coming to live with you; are situations we learn to embrace. It may take time to adjust but, in the end it could be for the best. I have only one sibling, and it has been just the two of us all my life but last year my cousin Didi came to live with us. Looking back it’s hard to imagine how my house was before she came to live with us. Didi is more like my birth sister, than a cousin. As people say a sister is a forever friend; someone you can share your thoughts with, someone you can call when things aren’t going right. Although it has been just a year since we have been together, we share a sisterly bond filled with many loving moments. The truth is no matter the obstacles that we have faced and or will face living together the connections we share can never be broken.

It was sometime around December 2015 that I first heard of the idea that my cousin Didi might come and live with us. I figured it out when I heard my mom and dad whispering in the kitchen, all I could hear were the words Didi, Georgia, moving. So I put two and two together and inferred that Didi is moving to Georgia. I later asked my mom about what I had heard, she told me it was true and that apparently, my cousin would be coming to live with us in a few months. All I could think of was my 11-year-old cousin sharing all my things with me, no privacy, and no freedom. I basically thought the world was ending, or at least my life was. With the idea of no privacy drilled in my brain I never really considered the positive aspects of having a new little sister figure in the house, like her coming meant one more girl in the house. Afterwards I thought maybe there could be a bright side to her arrival - I could mold her into my little personal protégé.

My cousin Didi finally arrived in March 2016. She traveled thousands of miles from her home in Abuja to little Ga. leaving behind her parents, two sisters and her friends. She had come to live with us, people she hasn’t seen in almost ten years. I often wonder what her perspective was as she contemplated the move. If I was in her shoes I know I would have been a nervous wreck, however, my cousin was the complete opposite. She embraced the challenge and was willing to put in her best effort to make it work. In many ways, I admire my cousin for her bravery and adaptability to change. I know it wasn’t easy for her to give up her own life, so why can’t I give up something as simple as a room or closet space? 

For the weeks to come adjusting to an extra person in the house was not always smooth sailing. There were arguments, shouting, crying and other things sisters go through. My world was completely turned upside down, suddenly I was rooming with someone who is three years younger than me. According to my mom, “it will be just like having a college roommate”, minus the parties, sororities, and people my age. While the rooming situation was getting situated,  I still looked forward to the opportunity of molding my cousin into a little mini-me. The main challenge was while she was happy to be guided by an older figure she still wanted to be her own person, oh well there goes my chance of having a carbon copy of me! There was also the task of making sure she was socially prepared. But apparently things were not that much different for her than back home, and Didi being such a fast learner settled in nicely and was really just like any regular Starbucks drinking preteen.

I already knew that I would be an influence in my cousin's life, but I didn’t know how much she would influence mine. Having my cousin live with me has been an eye opener, if she can move somewhere and start a “new life” how hard will it be when it is my time to go to college and move away from home. I have learned what real courage means from her moving, and also that embracing the situations life throws at me as a blessing is a sure way to have a positive outcome.

All jokes aside, in the end, I learned to deal with the situations that sisters go through every day and embrace the change. I have also acknowledged the fact that material objects should not be put ahead of family. I see my cousin’s arrival as a new chapter of my life that I fully welcome. If the roles were reversed I know she would do whatever it takes to make me feel at home. Although it has been just a year since we have been together, we share a sisterly bond filled with many loving moments. The truth is no matter the obstacles that we have faced and or will face living together the connections we share can never be broken.