Depression is one of those things that can make or break you. It can literally make you feel like you’re dying over and over again. Like there isn’t anything you can do to stop it. It can turn your life into a living hell. But, learning how to live with it can turn it all around.

Water slowly fills your lungs. You can’t come to the surface, and no one can help you. That’s what dealing with depression feels like. It absolutely sucks. You just have a constant fear that you will never be okay, and you will never get over this because nothing seems to go right. You fear for the fact that you will hurt the ones you love, and will end up alone. But, even though you probably won’t be alone, you always feel alone. No one knows what you are feeling, so you are just stuck alone not being able to know what to do, or how to deal with it. The feeling of it sucks, royally.

Depression can make you do very stupid things. Some people think cutting helps. So, they will just cut up and down their arms and legs, secretly hoping that one time they will hit that main artery, and it will all go away, however, it never really ends up working like that, plus cutting isn’t normally a sign of suicide, just a sign of depression. Other people tend to use drugs to get through the hell we live through on a daily. We will literally do to get through life. However, I never did drugs. I instead was a cutter, and I also stopped eating. I was then diagnosed with anorexia.

But, with the depression in which I suffer from, I tried to kill myself about 5 different times. Sometimes, when it gets too bad, those who suffer from it might find it impossible to keep going and try to kill themselves to end it all. When you suffer from depression, being bullied with it is such an awful feeling. Sometimes those with depression might take to heart of what they say. So, if someone says for them to kill themselves, they just might. However, not being noticed by anyone, can lead to it too. Because if they think no one cares, they might just think it would be easier to just leave altogether. Parents and their home lives have a huge impact on it as well. If they are stuck in an abusive home, it can make them feel worthless, and that can make a naive person do some many things.

However, there are always things you can do to help you get through all of it. Though, it can be very hard. Being able to openly talk about it, and ask for help is a must. Those who deal with depression must be willing to take the steps needed to get the help they need. When it came time to me finally getting help, it was one of the hardest things I’d ever done. I admitted myself to the fifth floor of the hospital. There they gave me medicine, helped me get through this, and they had someone come check me out for my weight. After I was released, I started therapy, and I continue to take my medicine every day. But, it is possible to get through it if you have the right type of support system.

Depression is a very tricky thing to deal with. It can feel like non-stop drowning. It can lead you to end up with scars on your body, or your body messed up from drugs. It can literally ruin your entire world. But, learning to live with it is an amazing feeling because you then realize that it's apart of you. It will become the part of you that you don’t want to get rid of because it makes you, you.