Faith | Teen Ink

Faith

May 29, 2018
By khp99 BRONZE, Charlotte, North Carolina
khp99 BRONZE, Charlotte, North Carolina
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Why? Why did you leave? Why did you chose drugs and alcohol over your baby girl? Why didn’t you try and have a relationship with me, your daughter? Why? I have so many questions I might never get answered. I have sympathy and compassion for you even though I’m angry. I try to place myself in your position, someone who has experienced so much hurt and pain. From an abusive mother to a constant fight against addiction and depression. I’m sure that being a teen parent with a child you didn’t plan for made everything even more difficult. I can’t help think that part of the reason you are in the place you're in right now is because of me. It was me who ruined your chances to pursue your dreams and ambitions. It’s my fault, right?
         

I’m furious that you didn’t fight for me. I know, I don’t understand how hard it is to deal with what you did. So, I don’t feel like I have the right to say things like just stop doing the wrong things and try harder. However, I’m not in your position so I will never understand what it was like to be you. I’m angry that you never truly tried to get better. Or did you?
         

I wish I could have helped you, Faith. I wish I could have been there to show you that life has so much more to offer.  While life is tough full of so much pain and hardships, it is also so beautiful. I wish I could have helped you see that, maybe one day I’ll get the opportunity to. Would you let me?
           

Faith, you’ve been a nonexistent part of my life since I was three years old. You never got to see me grow up into the person I am now, I hope you'd be proud. I never got to have that relationship with my mother. It angers me that you never tried to reach out, not once. For me it is hard to fathom how you wouldn’t. I’m a part of you. I’m your baby girl. How can you forget that?


The author's comments:

I wrote this about my mother and all my feelings towards her. It gave me a sense of peace to write it all out. 


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