“You may forget this, but

Let me leave you

A promise of what’s to come.

Acknowledge that.”

-16

Fists banged against a wooden door, bruised and slightly bloody at the knuckles. Beads of sweat dribbled down battered arms and past the trembling lips of a young girl. Split into streaks, sunny rays entered through a small side window, the light bouncing off of garden equipment and illuminating the surrounding area in a soft, orange warmth.

“Can someone please let me out? Please, please help me! The door’s locked! I can't get out!”

The banging continued against the door in rough, repetitive punches, which became more and more fraught as the minutes ticked on. Breathing in, Reese steadied herself in a desperate attempt to hold back the large, beaded tears that began to inch down her face.

She wanted to scream.

Hours had passed since she’d found herself trapped inside this shed. Looking back, she couldn’t even remember exactly how it had happened. One moment, she’d stood outside the doors to grab some potting mix, smiling softly at two girls laughing to tears by her side.

She’d stepped inside the shed, her back facing the outside world.

Then the next, those wooden doors had slammed definitively behind her. 

Her first thought was utter confusion. She had stood in silence. But after she’d reached out to the door handle and found it unwilling to budge, worry set in. And once she’d failed to pry the doors open, panic and fear was all that she felt. 

All the while, a single phrase repeated over and over at the forefront of her mind, refusing to quit despite her desperate attempts to push it aside.

“Why me?”

“Why me?”

Reese took a step back and brought her limp hand up to the base of her chin to stifle her panicked breathing. She listened around the shed to locate the voices of people outside. By the left wall, the sound of distant yet hearty chatter drew nearer. She couldn’t make out what they were saying, but it didn’t matter to her. She raised her hands and began hitting the wall.

“Can you hear me? I’m locked in here! Please let me out! Please let me out!”

The pounding went on and on, but as the voices faded, she took a step back to hear if anyone was coming…

And in the seconds that followed, a deep, sinking feeling settled at the base of her gut—a hefty, painful stone. Off in the corners of her mind, a hopeless fear began to sink in. She took a moment to slow her breathing, but her chest kept heaving and the sides of her eyes blurred her vision with tears.

In a last ditch attempt, she turned to climb over the stack of flower pots at her side to try the window again. If she could just catch the attention of someone outside… 

But her eye caught sight of something glinting, and she stopped in her tracks.

On the floor, something peered at her from the ashy concrete. Sprawled across the ground next to her foot, reflecting orange, lay a large shovel equipped with a tapered, iron blade.

It seemed to be glowing.

She watched the window and then glanced back at the shovel. Reese stared at it. The fingers by her side tapped against her thigh. Thinking. Deciding. Then, kneeling down and extending out, she grasped the handle.

She stared at the dirty window across from her and focused her eyes. Shifting her weight between the balls of her feet, she raised the shovel above her head.

Reese decided then and there that she was going to do it.

She swung the shovel back and waited for a single moment. No more voices could be heard outside. Nobody was coming to help. Nobody. She didn’t know why or where everyone had disappeared to, but she was going to have to break out of this mess by herself. Reese inhaled—a deep and affirming breath. She shook out her legs one-by-one, then, in one swift motion, she slammed the shovel forwards.

In one loud clunk, the shovel bounced off of the glass, leaving the window to rattle violently. Her eyes widened at the shrill sound. She staggered slightly, yet in the seconds that followed, she could see that not even a dent was made in the pane. 

Reese stumbled back, shovel in hand. And after dropping it to the floor, she crumpled down with it. 

Silence filled the shed, and Reese’s eyes were hazy and entirely far away. 

The thing is, even being trapped in here for hours, Reese knew she had a way of getting out. She knew it the second she heard the door lock behind her. But no matter how much the anxiety rose in her throat, and no matter how much her heartbeat surged in her chest, her body wouldn’t allow her to do it. It was akin to being in a dream, unable to run as a dark figure chased her down a hallway. No matter how much she tried, it was as if her own body was blocking her.

Stopping her.

Reese looked down at her fingertips and remembered the glittering summer after the third grade. Her parents had taken her to the beach, and the sun in its everlasting warmth had kissed her skin as waves of water had swirled up at her toes. 

That was until the water had run away from her. 

She remembered the day at school when suddenly, every sound became too loud and too clear all at once. She’d navigated the hallways with her hands cupped around her ears, silently screaming to herself: 

Shut up.

Shut up.

Shut up.

And she remembered the time when a cup of water crumpled to dust between her fingertips. The bitter smell had filled her lungs as ash fell to her feet.

She tried. Believe her, she did. But each time she came frustratingly close to bringing something about, nothing would happen. The feeling would just sit rising in her throat before disappearing right back the way it came. 

Her eyes glazed over, her mind churned, and she bit at the skin around her nails. Around her thumb, she bit too deep, and the edge began to bleed. 

There were no voices outside at this point. The lack of people began to bother her. The fact that she could hear voices earlier and nobody came to help bothered her more.

She sat still.

What if someone locked her in here on purpose?

A bead of sweat ran down the length of her chin. 

Why? What did she do?

The drip fell down, staining the concrete.

Was she just being paranoid? Was she that scared?

What if someone had found her out?

She played with her hands, and the uneven edge of her thumb scraped up against her palm.

She looked down at her bruised knuckles, and a certain feeling began at the base of her throat. 

In Reese’s life—on one hand—she could count the number of times that feeling broke free from her throat. And each time, it happened almost involuntarily. The sunlight covered her in orange, like a beam through a window, and she could feel the beginnings of an odd resolve start to fill her mind.

She recalled that day when the water ran away from her. It had ended with her in a panic beneath the waves—the parted ocean had slipped from her mind's grasp and crashed down on top of her. That day at school when she could hear anything and everything caused her to be backed into a corner, listening to a conversation that she shouldn’t have—with information that she would never forget.

And that cup’s dust across her fingertips just reminded her  of how little she knew of how to use it all.

In her throat, that feeling rose up, bundling together in the middle.

It sat there for a moment, struggling, suffocating her, and unable to move. 

But then, for the first time in months, amidst a burst of energy and color and life, the feeling broke out. 

In your life, have you ever experienced an abrupt burst of willpower? A clarity that surged into existence seemingly out of nowhere?

Have you ever experienced a sudden rush of energy walking through nature—seeing life brimming all around? 

Have you ever stood in the tall grass—the sun beating down—and came to think of it all? Just everything?

A subconscious part of your mind telling you something, as if saying, ‘It's time to begin?’

With the whole room illuminated, Reese felt her heart begin to beat in a rhythm all too fast. Her mind cleared, and her body brought herself off of the ground. 

She watched the door down in front of her, and a brand-new feeling took her over. Everything seemed to shift, and she knew something big had happened.

Looking down at her fingers, an odd feeling passed over her. It was as if they weren't fully there—like she could somehow see the concrete floor through them. She watched the ground and took a step forward, and as she did so, her foot slipped through the tapered blade of the iron shovel. 

Reese’s eyes immediately widened, like blood rushing to a wound. She looked up and forward, her body filling with energy, as relief washed over her in waves. She stared at the doors and advanced towards them. 

It took her barely a few steps.

She began to push. Her right hand phased through the surface, then her right shoulder. 

But something seemed to hold her back. To Reese, it was as if a person had grabbed hold of her other arm, and despite her pushing from the outside of the door, it refused to let her body pass through. 

She jerked forward—and then in an instant—her whole body fell through, as if the person who had fought to grip her so tightly immediately let go.

Reese’s world immediately became brighter.

She stumbled and landed onto soil. Reese clenched her fist hard and breathed in. As she did so, she could smell the grass and freshly cut flowers nearby.

The setting sun bathed the sky in a yellow-orange hue. Robins chirped lightly overhead, singing melodic tunes.

Yet something was off.

A few seconds went ticking by, and a nearby shadow stepped close. It did so slowly, yet somehow suddenly, until the edge of the outline passed over her arm. 

There was a pause.

Reese’s eyes followed the shadow. She found herself squinting up at a person standing over her. The glaring sun caused a shadow to form over his face. 

His eyes were fixed on her.

And Reese did not recognize him. 

She lied there—in the dirt—as the scene unfolded. It was as if the world had moved slower for just a moment. 

She breathed, and a bead of moisture ran down the length of her chin.

He was young. The sunlight bounced off his light blonde hair, painting a golden outline along his  silhouette. Not a muscle moved in his face.

He said nothing; he did not move. The movement of the world ebbed as cicadas buzzed in her ears. 

Then, the moment broke, and time righted itself. He turned around—and without a word or even a glance back—he walked away from her.

Only shallow impressions remained in the dirt. The boy was gone.

Reese stayed there on the ground, looking out, finding herself to be the last one at the gardens. The sunset continued to saturate the world around her. Everyone else had already gone home.