*Beep beep* *beep beep* the alarm in Chloe’s room goes off, its 7:30 and time for school. Chloe stops the alarm and immediately grabs her phone beside it sitting on the table, checking her social media half asleep. Tapping on her phone, she slowly gets out of bed and heads to the bathroom. She sees a new photo posted by a fitness influencer, it was a mirror selfie of them in a crop top and yoga pants after her workout. Chloe stares at the photo, then looks up to the mirror at herself, going back and forth, continuing to do this for a long time. Feelings of shame and sadness start to swirl up in her, WHY do I look like this? She thinks to herself. Chloe checks her phone again and realizes she’s running late, she quickly gets dressed and dashes out of the house, not saying a word to her parents who were having breakfast in the kitchen. 

Morning classes were per usual, boring teachers, and boring lectures. Chloe looks down under the desk at her phone, and starts scrolling on social media again, seeing if anything new happened, if she got new likes, comments, followers……A relatively popular girl in her year made a new post, simply a sentence saying “Math is the worst…” within minutes it got hundreds of likes and comments. Chloe can imagine herself posting something similar to that on her page, but getting no likes or responses whatsoever. She sighs, as a paper is passed down onto her desk by the teacher, “A mini-quiz, hope you all paid attention to my lesson.” The teacher said, Giving Chloe a stern look. Whelp..i’m screwed.

After morning classes were done, it was finally time for lunch, Chloe walks into the crowded cafeteria. She quickly grabs her school lunch from the counter and heads towards her seat at the back of the cafeteria while looking down at her phone. Not paying attention to what was in front of her, she runs into someone by accident.“Oof! Oh, hey Chloe!” Chloe finally looks up from her phone.“H-hey Katherine, sorry i-” “No no, it's fine, don’t worry about it!” Chloe nods slightly and heads towards her table again. “Hey, do you want me to sit with you?” Katherine says with a smile. Chloe considers for a moment in her head, it might be rude to just reject her...but she isn’t in the mood to talk at all, she knows she’s got better things to do with that time.“N-no thanks, I’m good,” Chloe says reluctantly.“Oh…okay then, see you around I guess!” Katherine replies cheerfully. Chloe gave no response, she sits down at the table alone, taking out her phone again and starting to eat. A notification pops up from Instapost: “Marina posted a new photo—right now” Seeing that name, Chloe immediately clicks on the pop-up and is greeted to a photo of the girl named Marina. The girl has light blue eyes, long shining blonde hair, and was posing with her schoolbooks—wearing a skin-tight crop top and jeans. The photo was just posted a moment ago and already has a thousand likes and a few hundred comments. Marina is like Chloe’s idol, she has over 5million followers on almost every social media platform and is practically a social media star. Chloe’s been following her on every social platform for over three years now and strives to be like her. She does have her own social media pages, but none of them has over 100 followers. Marina’s hair glistens under the sun in the photo, light shining beautifully onto her flawless skin. Her waist is tiny and lean, her legs, long, curved and skinny. Looking through the comments, there were only positive and sometimes flirtatious comments about her looks and body, things like: “OMG! Your sooo pretty, I WISH I had those eyes!!!” or “Gurl ur soo skinny!! Tell me how you got that waist!”, “I would DIE for a body like that!” Chloe stares at the photo, and all of a sudden, the food in her mouth didn’t feel right anymore. She looks to the sandwich in her hands, then to her thighs and feels a wave of regret, guilt, and even disgust surge in. She runs into the bathroom—tears filling up fast in her eyes, mad at herself and what she’s done. She slams herself into a stall and managed to make herself throw up everything she’s eaten. She crumbles to the floor, her body feeling forceless and frail, but her mind feeling better—knowing she’s thrown up the food. She heads back to her seat and continues scrolling through Instapost. Seeing all the pretty girls, all so similar to Marina, thousands of thoughts run through her mind. I need to be just like them, they’re so pretty and skinny and popular. I’m so fat and ugly…no one will ever like me if I keep looking like this. I’m not going to eat any more today, there’s no way I can be like them if I keep shoving food down my throat. But a familiar voice interrupts Chloe from her thoughts, “Hey! Chloe.” Its Katherine, she’s walked up to Chloe’s table.“Oh...hey.” “Sorry, I know you said you didn’t want company, it's just, I feel like you’re a bit off lately, we never really hang out anymore. I was just thinking we could head out after school today to our favorite restaurant, catch up y’know? Chat a bit, just like the good old times?” Chloe knows it would be very rude to decline this. Even though she doesn’t want to go, she does remember when Katherine and herself used to be really close and how fun it was. This can't be that bad right? she thinks to herself. “I…sure,” Chloe replies. “Great! See you at 6 then, you know the place!” Katherine skips away, giving her a playful wave and a wink, Chloe smiles back slightly.

After school, Chloe walks into the restaurant, the smell of fresh food rushes into her nose, she feels very hungry but tells herself she cannot eat no matter what. Katherine was already sitting down at a table waving, Chloe notices and heads towards her. “Hey Chlo, Glad you came!” Chloe gives her a small smile and sits down. “So, what do you wanna eat?” “Oh…I-I think ill skip on the food. I’m um…on a diet.”  “What?! But this is our favorite place! You love the food here!” Chloe lets out a forced giggle. “Hmm…Alright then, you do you I suppose.” Chloe looks down at her phone in her hands, she knows it’d be rude to look at it right now but what if someone posted a new picture, or what if someone liked another one of her posts? Maybe someone unfollowed her?! She tried her best to resist the temptation, but caves in immediately when she saw a notification pop up. She scrolls through Instapost, seeing who posted and checking her likes and posts—her fingers moving swiftly and rapidly. She could hear Katherine talking in the background and only occasionally nods to whatever she’s saying. After about five minutes, Katherine got very annoyed. “Hey! Are you even listening to anything I’m saying? You need to put down that phone!” Chloe looks up at her, startled. “I’m just trying to have some fun, like the old times. What happened to the good old Chloe? Can’t we just have a normal conversation without that stupid phone?” Chloe feels a bit mad but also guilty of what she’s done. “I-I’m sorr-” “Look, how about you just give me that for now?” Katherine reaches her hand out, gesturing for the phone. “W-no…I-I can’t-”Chloe never gives her phone to anyone, she needs it by her at all times, she knows that she won’t let anyone take it from her no matter what. “What do you mean you can’t? It's only for a bit, just give me it!” Katherine stands up and snatches the phone from Chloe’s hands. An extreme charge of panic and terror rushes through Chloe’s body as she could no longer feel her phone in her hands. “GIVE IT BACK!” Chloe leaps up from her seat and yells with all her strength. Katherine looks extremely shocked at the sight of this. “W-what?..” She says faintly, stunned. “I SAID GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE!” Katherine quickly hands the phone back to Chloe, still frightened and in dismay. After a moment, Chloe snaps out of it and drops back down onto her seat, hands covering her mouth—dumbfounded, in realization of what she just did. There was a moment of silence as Katherine put her face in her hands. “I-i’m sorry! I really didn’t mean-” Katherine stands up before Chloe could finish and heads towards the exit. “I guess you really aren’t the same anymore…” Katherine says in a disappointed tone and walks out of the restaurant. Seeing this, Chloe feels tears building up in her eyes, she’d just ruined her friendship with Katherine. They used to be best friends before high school, and now everything between them is lost. Chloe realizes the severity of her addiction, and she feels ashamed, she knows she needs to stop, but she has no idea how. Social media is like the only thing I like and care about now, it’s my only way to fit in…She thought to herself.

The next day, Chloe was sitting in the school hallway, scrolling on her phone again during break. As she looks up, she sees three figures walking by. A short curly-haired girl, a girl in black with bright pink pigtails, and Marina! Chloe freezes, realizing it was Marina herself! Slim, tall, flowing blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. Chloe gulps, and after some self-talk finally builds up enough courage to approach them. She walks behind them and gently taps on Marina’s shoulder. “H-hi..I’m Chloe, I’ve been following you for years now and I really love your posts.” Marina turns around and looks her up and down with a puzzled and almost disgusted look. “What do you want?” She says in a nasty tone. “Oh, I was just wondering if you could offer me some advice on growing my own social media page and becoming popular like you!” A collective burst of laughter pours out from the group.“You? Popular?! That's just too funny!” The pink-haired girl exclaimed. “Girl worry about your weight first won't you? Look at you! You’ll never be internet famous looking like that!” The curly-haired girl adds. “Whats your Instapost username, Pig_Girl? Honey, you gotta get on my level first if you wanna speak to me!” Marina remarks mockingly. Then, without another word, they turn around and walk away—still laughing as they went on. Chloe feels defeated and humiliated, her favorite influencer just called her fat. She sat there in shock for a moment—face red with embarrassment. Then stood up and bolted for the bathroom, barely holding in her tears. In the stall, she kept replaying Marina’s words in her head, tears pouring down her eyes like an endless waterfall. She tries to make herself throw up again, but to no avail. Her stomach was empty, she hasn’t eaten anything since the last time she threw up. Why do I have to be like this...

On the last day of the week, Chloe was walking down the halls, still scrolling on her phone after school when she suddenly gets notified for ten new comments on one of her posts. Wow! I’ve never gotten this many comments before! Overjoyed, Chloe quickly taps on the post with excitement. It was a picture of a mirror selfie she took, wearing a workout outfit. She remembered that this was when she starved herself for a full week and felt a little better about her body. Chloe scrolls down to the comments, but to her surprise, it was Marina and her friends. They had written things like “Fatty!! Stop pretending that you actually work out!”, “If I were you, I would have never posted this.” Marina’s comment said, “You probably weigh more than my follower count!” Chloe stood there, petrified. She stared at the comments and could feel her heart pounding faster and faster. She watched as more and more comments of the same type started to appear, they must have been from Marina’s followers. As tens and hundreds of notifications flooded her screen, Chloe feels as if she is suffocating. With her hands shaking, Chloe managed to delete the post. She’s worked so hard on her account, posting almost daily. Now all people are going to do is attack and send hate to her, just because of that one photo she posted. Panicking and crying, Chloe dashes into the bathroom once again. 

She looks up at the mirror, seeing herself, red-eyed and face dripping in tears. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! She almost wants to punch and shatter the mirror right then and there, but something on the side of the sink catches her eye. It was a small pink purse lined with intricate gold patterns. Its Marina’s purse…She must have left it here, I should probably return it to her. Chloe takes a few minuets and tries to calm down as best as she can, cleaning up her face. She grabs the purse and heads out of the bathroom. 

Chloe knows that Marina should be just heading home from cheer practice right now, she steps out the school and catches Marina walking away. Chloe takes a deep breath and runs up to her, “Hey.” Marina turns around, “Oh..its you, what do you want from me? Are you upset cause I made that comment huh?” She says, teasing her. “No..i found this in the bathroom, its yours right?” “Oh!... Yes..that is mine. How did you know?..” Marina asks, confused. “Oh, it was in one of your older pictures, the one where you were posing by the shopping mall wearing a pink dress.” Marina looks at her with a surprised expression, “Huh..I’m surprised you recognize it, it was a pretty old post, and such a minor detail too.” “Hehe..yeah, I’ve been following you for three years now, I’m a really big fan…as I’ve said.” Chloe replies awkwardly. “Plus, it was such a nice photo. Your pink skirt went so well with the purse, and your sunglasses were also really cute. You looked so good in that skirt, the way it flowed off of you…how it showed off your body. Your thin waist…and your legs…I-i wish I had a body like yours…i never looked good in skirts.” Chloe’s voice starts to tremble, and tears began filling up in her eyes. Marina doesn’t know what to say, she stands there looking at her with surprise in her eyes, and maybe even a hint of empathy. “You know what..your right, I-I can never become popular like you looking the way I do…Every day I try so hard to get thinner but it never seems to do anything. I guess..ill just never have a body like yours.” Chloe is crying at this point, but she still forces out a giggle and smiles at Marina. “No..no, no, no. I-i’m not someone you should compare yourself to! You're fine the way that you are!” Marina finally speaks. “B-but I have to be like you..like the other girls on social media, that's what people like…thats the only way others will like me.” Marina stands there in silence for a second, “Here, come with me..” Marina grabs Chloe’s wrist and brings her to sit down by the staircase outside the now-empty school. She takes a deep breath and starts to speak “Look…let me tell you something. I-i’m not who I appear to be on social media, or..around my friends. I’m..truly pretty much the polar opposite of that.” Marina reaches to her dress and pulls it up, revealing her thighs, covered with countless scars left by cutting. Chloe completely tenses up, she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. “You see…I don’t have a very…healthy family life, so I started my social media account in hopes to receive love from others. At first, I was not popular at all, I posted me wearing things I liked, posted photos of nature and food. No one really noticed me or sent me any support. But seeing all these popular girls on social media posting pictures of themselves posing in lavish and revealing clothing. I eventually tried to make a post like that myself…and it blew up. I was delighted at first, people were actually commenting nice things and showing me love. It made me happy, so I kept on posting pictures like those. But the more I kept going, the more I realized I wasn’t actually happy. I was wearing things I didn’t like because I knew that was how I could get liked by others. I realized that I wasn’t doing this for myself anymore…but I knew that if I stopped posting pictures like these and went back to my old posts, I would lose all my followers and let down their expectations. So I kept going and going, telling myself that I was happy while I wasn’t, pretending to feel loved and appreciated by my fans while I didn’t feel anything at all. I hate the person people see me as on social media, it isn’t me at all…and yet I feel pressured every day to keep up this fake “perfect influencer” image…its just became torture for me, a grave that I dug for myself…Tears started to stream down on Marina’s face, her bright blue eyes now looked despairing and filled with pain. “I-i..i never knew.,” Chloe says with her voice still trembling—in shock and still trying to process everything. The Marina she thought she knew was never happy about being popular or being liked by others. Behind the screen, she was a poor hopeless bird, trapped in the cage that is social media, forced, and tortured every day to keep up her fake so-called “influencer” image everyone looks up to. Chloe realized, that she, was going down the same path as Marina, just trying to be like the popular people to fit in and feel accepted, even though it isn't who she really is or who she wants to be. “I'm so sorry!” Chloe tenses up as she feels Marina wrap her arms around her, squeezing her tight. “I-i'm so sorry I said all those horrible things about you and made you feel so bad just to seem cool. I never ever meant anything I said!!! I’m sorry I didn’t stop this chaos sooner…maybe if I had just deleted my accounts, you and many more would still have felt happy and confident right now. This is all my fault…” Marina finally bursts out, crying loudly with Chloe in her arms. “N-no..it isn't your fault. You wanted to feel loved so you made up an image, you never realized that things would go so wrong.” Chloe says as she hugs Marina back. “I hope you know that you don’t ever have to pretend anymore to feel loved. Because..the Marina I’m looking at right now, is more than just a pretty influencer. The Marina I see right now is strong and beautiful.” “R-really?..” Marina looks at Chloe. “Yes.” Tears ran down from Marina’s face, but this time, tears of relief and comfort, she smiles, sincerely, from the bottom of her heart. “Well...I also want you to know that you are loved and valid just the way you are Chloe. You don’t ever have to try and become skinnier or be “perfect” and popular like the other girls to fit in, I’ll always be here for you and I’ll always appreciate you for who you truly are.” Warm, precious tears of happiness are now also tumbling down from Chloe’s face, they hug once again. The sun begins to set as warm golden hues illuminated the sky above them. They just sat there in silence, aglow under the delicate light of the setting sun, holding each other tight. Chloe finally felt safe, comfort and ease for once in who knows how long, she never would have guessed that Marina, her all-time favorite social media star, would be here hugging her under the sunset, but she’s glad and grateful that this happened. 

“I bet..theres many more people out there just like us, struggling and trying to fit in…or keeping up a fake image they despise.” Marina says, laying down and looking up at the sky. “Yeah…I never realized how toxic and damaging social media can be.” Chloe replies, laying down next to her. “Let's delete it!” Marina exclaims. “What?” “Delete all of our social media's,” Marina says, smiling. “Y-yeah we should do that!” They both pull out their phones and start to delete all the apps one by one. Chloe feels as if a heavyweight is being lifted off her shoulders every app she deletes. Marina lets out a sigh of relief as she finishes, “Now that, feels great!” Marina says, giggling a bit. “Yeah!” Chloe remarks and laughs along, “really, really great.” 

“What?!” Chloe exclaims, “Haha, I know right?” Katherine says and proceeds on telling the story, “And then she said……” “Okay, now that's pretty cool!” Marina says laughing. Its a sunny, warm afternoon, Chloe, Katherine, and Marina are sitting at the old favorite restaurant, eating and chatting away. Chloe takes a moment and looks around the room, all she sees are happy and carefree faces of her friends—smiling brightly under the soft glistening afternoon sun. A warm, comforting feeling fills her heart, Chloe finally knows that she truly fits in.