I remember the haircut that I had in sixth grade, my buzz cut gave you a free pass to look at my weird shaped head. This haircut single handedly stopped me from making any friends. I wouldn’t blame them for avoiding me. 

When my mom told me it was time for a haircut I used to whine and complain, but eventually I would deal with it and get the cut. But one day when my mom told me to get a hair cut I thought things would change, I mean I thought to myself “I’m in sixth grade, I should be able to make my own decisions.” So instead of complying I stood my ground and made my argument and she actually listened to me. After a week or two I thought she forgot about it, she stopped insisting on it and she dropped the topic anytime someone would mention my hair. During that time I was living my life. My hair was ok, my clothes were somewhat fashionable and I had friends, little did I know everything would change. As soon as I got home I felt a negative energy, like someone was furious at me. I felt like if I took another step I'd be launched out the door.

Then all of a sudden I hear something, something that I only had nightmares about. Something that brought fear to anyone with a haircut they liked. That something was the buzz of the hair clippers, the clippers sounded like a hive of wasps ready to sting the poor soul who shows their face next. Suddenly someone opened a door but which door I asked myself, I was taking off my shoes even though I had the urge to run away. I looked up and saw down my hallway the bathroom door opened, and I quickly noticed someone on their way out. I saw their shadow whoever that was, holding onto something, something small. They were holding it like a murderer would a knife, then it all clicked. Everything made sense to me right then and there, the negative energy, the horrid sound of the clippers, and why that person was holding onto something like a knife. 

It was my mom. She walked out of the bathroom at a pace so slow it sent chills running down my back. I saw her face, dead serious yet she looked like she was holding back a devilish smirk, almost like she enjoyed the terrified look on my face. Then I saw what was in her hands, I wanted to run, but my body was in shock. She didn't say anything yet I knew that she wanted me to go over there. All of a sudden my body started walking not towards safety but towards the women that would end my social life for what would feel like forever. I kept wanting to run in the opposite direction and run and scream for help hoping someone would save me from my mom trying to cut my hair, but my legs kept walking towards her like they were taking orders from someone other than me. I finally arrived at the entrance of the bathroom, I looked up and saw my hair end right in the palm of my mother's hands.

She pointed at the step stool right in front of her, I understood I knew what she meant by that. I sat down almost like I accepted my hair's fate, but in my head I screamed for help, my screamed as loud as a freight train's horn. But no one would hear me except me. As she brought the clippers close to my beautiful luscious hair I accepted my fate. Everything was silent. All I could hear was the buzzing of what I thought were hornets. I sat there silently waiting for this torture to be over, I sat there waiting for it all to be over. It felt like I was getting punished even though I did nothing wrong. I wasnt facing my mother but I knew she was enjoying this, seeing my hair fall from my peanut shaped head was like getting stabbed in the heart. 

When the clippers stopped I knew as soon as I stood up I would look in the mirror and be in disgust. I was in disgust because not only was the haircut she gave me a buzz cut, but I saw my head. My head looked like the result of play doh after you gave it to a five year old to mess around with. When I saw myself in the mirror a wave of shock rushed to my brain, I stood there for what felt like years. When I finally looked away from the hideous beast that my mother called a son I looked at my mother, when she realized I was looking at her she told me “ you should've gotten a haircut when I told you to.” 

I told my mother to get out of the bathroom, I got in the shower and sat there. I sat there thinking what would people think, what would people say about this. I sat there watching little pieces of hair go down to the drain, I felt hurt, and lost. In the middle of my crisis I hear a loud bang and a loud voice saying “HURRY UP, DINNERS READY!!” I quickly cleaned myself  and headed out the bathroom door still trying to process the events that followed up to that moment. I threw some clothes on and went to the dinner table and felt embarrassed, I sat down in my seat and nothing was to be heard. It was dead silence, until something broke it, a laugh someone was laughing were they laughing at me? 

I lifted my deformed head to see who was laughing at me, it was my five year old sister. She looked like she was having a blast just laughing at me, and I hated it. My mother quickly silenced her, and I thought to myself why she silenced her, she was the one to bring this situation in the first place. 

I went to bed that night lying awake thinking about all the worst scenarios that could happen, I would walk into the school and everyone would point and laugh. “Would i lose all of my friends because of the this stupid haircut?” I asked aloud, “No that would be ridiculous.” I said to myself as if I was having a conversation with someone. I woke up with immense feelings of embarrassment and anger, that morning I didn't talk to anyone and when it was time to go to the bus stop I put on a hat hoping that it would hide my disgusting head. I went to school and everything was normal, I started feeling a little comfortable that the hat would cover my head. I talked to my friends as i would any other day talking about memes and other stuff we usually talk about. We arrived at my school and Icompletely forgot about my horrible haircut. I walked into my school expecting  to avoid everyone's attention including the teachers. I was pacing through the hallway like I was in a rush to class but in reality I just didn't want anyone to notice me. Before the school day started all of the kids waited in designated areas for each grade, eighth and seventh went to the main hallway near the main entrance of the school. Sixth waited in the small gym, and fifth  just waited in their home class cause they didn't move from class to class yet. So there i was speed walking to the bathroom going to check if my hat had covered my hair or what was left of it, but in the middle of the hallway someone stopped me. Someone touched my shoulder and I could tell it wasn't a kid by the size of the hand and the voice he had, I almost immediately remembered. My school has a not hat policy, and the person who stopped me was my school principal. Right in the middle of the hallway were not only would the whole eighth grade see but the seventh as well, then i heard him tell me ”Sebastian you know you can't wear that hat in hear.” Then I felt something I rarely  ever feel, fear.