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The Way It Ends
Day 1
He sits on the bus alone. In two more days he was gonna do it. Why? He just wanted it to end. How could he not? If he kept his cool she wouldn’t have dumped him. If he did what his dad said, he wouldn’t have left. If he just admitted that he was a freak and started listening to the newest music, getting the newest phone, and playing the new video games instead of sticking to XBox 360 and PS3. But the kid never had that kind of money to waste on people.
So, why did he wanna do it?
Because he was tired of hating everything.
Tired of having no one to listen to.
Tired of having no friends, no filter, and being single.
Why does all of this matter to him?
He’s a teenager who’s never known friendship, or compassion from his peers.
Jeremy coughed. He heard kids laughing.
“Hey, Kevin.” someone said. Jeremy knew they were talking to him. That’s his “nickname”. Also there is no Kevin on this bus.
He turned around, “Yes?” he waited patiently.
“You okay, Dude? Do you have the Coronavirus?” the guy asked.
The comment stung. Because they were basically voicing their belief of him being filled with germs and that he has some contagious virus or disease.
“N-no.” is all Jeremy could muster. He pulled out a paper to review his plan.
How It’ll Happen
Where: My bathroom
Weapon: Knife. Very sharp kitchen knife.
When: 2 more days. In The Morning.
Why:
How: I’ll skip school. Fake illness.
He left the “Why” blank. He was more nervous then scared. Death seldom scared him. Although, he was seldom scared of anything.
When he was five his biggest fear was Chucky The Killer Doll from the 1988 movie Child’s Play. It stayed that way till the sixth grade. He rewatched the movie in sixth grade and it was unbelievably cheesy. During the summer before high school started he saw the remake that came out. He watched it with his step dad.
When he got to his third period class he sighed and sat in his assigned seat. This one girl kept glancing at him. She was blonde and had what the internet called “The Lesbian Cut”. AKA “The Coolest Haircut In The World For A Girl”.
Basically you shave off one side of your head, leaving the front, back, and other side of it untouched.
He knew her name despite them never speaking. It was Amy. He knows names. He’ll pretend he doesn’t because he’s afraid of being wrong. Same reason he doesn’t raise his hand in class. Or jump into conversations with others about things he likes.
He looked up from To Kill a Mockingbird. She was still looking at him. He looked back at his book.
Despite being a geek he attracted the bully girls and “bad girls”. But he did something strange when he went against his parents' words and dated these types of girls. He brought out the good side in them. He made suicidal people love life. He made bad girls good. He made good girls less uptight. He wouldn’t turn them bad though. He considered that evil.
This girl then returned to her book, as did he.
Lunch was another time of day he found depressing. Because he sat alone. See, Jeremy had no friends and was shy.
So he ate his burger on his own.
He got home and went to the bathroom. His wi-fi turned on and his phone started to vibrate. He pulls out his phone.
FOUR MISSED CALLS FROM DAD
12:30
12:35
1:20
1:32
“Screw him!” he yelled and twitched in anger, “In two days I’ll be gone! Then you’ll never see me again!”
He huffed. He got so angry he was excited.
Then he saw her. Amy. She waved through his window. She lived in the next trailer park over. I told her to wait. He went out of his house and saw her. She wore a red dress and smiled.
“Did I miss something?” he asked.
“Well, I heard you screaming. I was about to go on a date with my boyfriend but he cancelled again. So what’s up?”
“My dad. He sucks at being a dad.”
“I understand that.”
“How so?”
“My dad sucks too.” she said, walking over to him. She led him off the porch.
They kissed.
“Whoa- I-” Jeremy could barely speak. So she shook her head and kissed him again.
“If...your dad ever bothers you...I’ll kill him.”
She kissed his cheek and left. He went inside.
A while later his mom got home. He ate unhealthy microwave food and drank cheap soda.
Day 2
In the hallway she walked up to him. She smiled at him.
“You doing’ okay?” she asked. Jeremy thought she was so beautiful.
“Yeah. I’m doing just fine.” he lied. She saw straight through him.
“Oh yeah?” she pulled out a piece of paper, “You dropped this!”
It was his suicide paper. He took it quickly.
“What the f*ck Jeremy? You can’t kill yourself!”
“I can do whatever the f*ck I f*cking want!” he screamed.
“What about the people who care for you?”
“Would you mind pointing them out for me?”
She pointed at herself.
“WE NEVER TALKED BEFORE!”
“I watched you everyday. And, yes, I know how creepy that it. But I don’t care. I watched you read books in class instead of work. I saw you cry while you eat lunch alone. I saw you watch obscure movies that no one knows about because it makes you feel like you discovered something great, even if the movie sucks. I watched it all.” she confessed.
“You stalker!” he yelled, “Listen to me. I am gonna kill myself tomorrow. And you are not gonna stand in my way.”
He pushed past her with tears in his eyes and walked to the exit. He couldn’t handle school.
When he was little he was bullied by his aunt and uncle, given the Harry Potter treatment. He had to live in their basement while his parents where in different state, looking for a house to buy, unaware of the child abuse.
People constantly stole from him. He was the oldest but he was also the most defenseless. He couldn’t fight back. So he just had to let it happen.
He ended up wearing clothes three times his size.
He almost died in a pool. But he was saved by his cousin. His brother, who pushed him in, was never punished. At first Jeremy thought it was just that it was such a small thing so he didn’t need to be punished. But as he grew he saw a lot of criminals were never caught. Like the Zodiac Killer. Or the dude who killed Abby and Libby in Delphi, Indiana, his hometown.
So his sense of right and wrong was heightened and his faith in justice was lowered.
It lowered even more when he saw all those school shootings on the news. He wanted to cry. But his step mom called him a cry baby and allowed her kids to do the same to him. So his mind now does this.
Crying = No One Loves You
His dream of doing stand up was destroyed because he was so desensitized that at this point he couldn’t laugh or be funny.
So no emotions.
No hope.
No faith.
And no dreams.
He woke up alone. His mom must’ve been in such a hurry that she couldn’t wake him up. He sighed and looked at his phone. He had a few missed calls. He set a timer to play them in 30 minutes. He then went to the kitchen to get a knife. He smiles grimly at himself.
“This is the way it ends. F*ck suicide notes.” he never planned on writing one.
He went to the bathroom. He took off his shirt, revealing pale skin. He raised the knife and plunged it into his heart.
Or rather...his stomach.
In pain he fell to the floor. He cried out, “Mommy!” his eyes welled with tears at the realization that he was alone. He couldn’t move. He was in too much pain. He pulled the knife out. He rolled on his back and began to sing. It’s all he could do with tears filling his eyes:
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When Skies are grey
You’ll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away
With the final breath he uttered his final words to himself: “I’m sorry.”
He died at eight o’clock in the morning. He died of blood loss in a bathroom. He died alone.
His phone buzzed in his room when the 30 minutes were up.
“Hello? Hello? It’s Amy. I...I...screw it. I’m just gonna say it. I wanna be your girlfriend. You’re cute, smart and funny. And you could help me with my own homework. So, when you wake up, text me.”
“Hello, Jeremy. It’s Dad. I’m just calling to tell you the good news. I’m moving back. And I wanna take you to the movies first thing when I get back. Anyway, I got work. Call me around six-thirty. Bye, Buddy.”
“Hey Sweetie...sorry I couldn’t wake you up. I just wanted to call to make sure you’re okay. I’m taking a full day off of work to spend time with you. I gotta go now. Bye.”
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