Chapter 2
“I’m Samantha,” I said when he sat down next to me, holding out my hand.

“I’m Gerard,” he mumbled, digging through his bag, refusing to look at me.

“Where’d you move here from?”

He straightened and gave me that look again, except more intense this time, because I could just barely see his other eye through his thick black hair. I felt my skin crawl. “Look, I know you don’t wanna be here anymore than I do, so let’s make this as painless as possible. Don’t talk to me unless you have to. Don’t look at me unless you have to. Don’t even acknowledge my existence unless absolutely necessary. Let’s just not make contact.”

I frowned. “And what if I have to talk to you right now? Isn’t it kind of important to know a little bit about your lab partner?”

“You know my name. Isn’t that enough?”

“No.” This time, I glared right back at him.

Then the bell rang and Mr. Poloni started passing back papers.


As I sat at lunch, surrounded by my friends, I was bombarded.

“What’s he like?”

“Is he as amazing as he looks?”

“Is he creepy?”
“ Think he doubles as a grave digger?”

“Okay, everyone shut up. First off, the guy’s a socially challenged jerk. Second, I have never met anyone so irritating. I’m serious,” I said as they snickered. “He was all ‘I’m Gerard. I won’t tell you anything else about me.’ The guy wouldn’t tell me where he’s from or anything.”

“So he’s mysterious, too? Let me add that to my list of adjectives describing him…” Sarah laughed. “You have to at least be intrigued or you wouldn’t care. Face it. He’s a bloody wonder to you!”

“Stop trying to sound freaking British!” I couldn’t help but crack a smile at her. Her British step dad was definitely rubbing off on her. “And I don’t care. Not anymore. Maybe I did. I’ll admit, he’s pretty cute. But the guy gave me this glare like he was ready and willing to kill me. It was bizarre; I hadn’t even said anything to him yet! And then he got all defensive, like everything except his name was confidential.”

“Maybe his parents are spies! What if he’s a spy!” Tiffany’s mind was clearly running wild as she stared at her phone, her fingers flying over the keyboard as she raced to spread this new bit of gossip on Gerard.

I shook my head and allowed my eyes to fall on the nasty concoction the school cooks expected us to eat. It looked like they’d put together the most fatty and burnt meat they could find, the stalest bread, the most lactose-free cheese, and little white strings that were supposed to be macaroni. I swallowed hard and got up to throw it away. I was just turning away from the trash can when I slammed into someone head-on.

“I’m sorry!” I exclaimed, backing up and pulling the black hair out of my eyes.

Gerard glared down at me through that stupidly perfect hair. “Watch it!” he hissed, and seemed to slither by me, arousing the suspicion in me that his black hair was really just disguised snakes and if I stared at him too long, I’d turn to stone.

I stomped back to the table. “Did you see that?” I yelled, pointing in the general direction of the trash can.

Sarah was laughing when I sat down. I frowned at her. “What is so funny?”

“You guys are perfect for each other! He’s clearly Goth, possibly emo, and depressed. He also seems to struggle with anger. Who else do we know like that?”

“Whoa, hold up. First, you know I don’t live by labels. Second, I am not depressed. At all. I’m more happy than you, usually. And third, I only struggle with anger around the annoying people who deserve it.”

“Weren’t you saying you didn’t have a date to the dance in three weeks?”

“Don’t you dare,” I snapped. “I won’t do it.”

“I dare you,” she laughed, mischief glinting in her eyes.

“Oh, are we in the seventh freaking grade again? Why would I possibly accept a dare? Haven’t done that in years.”

“Oh, fine. I’ll make it a bet. Ten bucks says you can’t do it. You can’t ask him to the dance, go with him, and dance to at least one full song, then let him drive you home.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but Tina across the table from me smiled and shoved a breadstick in my mouth. “I can make it twenty. If you lose, however, I can spread that you guys made out behind the bleachers, therefore smashing your reputation and his. Facebook’s waiting, dear.”

I spit out the gross bread and gaped at her. “How dare you? No. I won’t do it. And you’ll keep your mouth shut, or so help me—“

“Freedom of speech,” she said, holding up her phone threateningly. I didn’t care if she spread rumors about me. I didn’t care if my reputation crumbled. Gossip has never bothered me, nor have I ever taken part in it. But, well, despite how much I hated him, I’m a kind soul and I didn’t want a new kid like him to have to start off like that.

Also, Tina got on my nerves. She was always making gossip if you got on her bad side and she was a loud mouth who loved to rub in what her mom bought her last weekend. I was not about to look afraid in front of her.

So I plastered a smile on my face and accepted. “Fine. I’ll do it. I’ll take him to the dance, and Sarah will pay me twenty bucks, and Tina will keep her mouth shut. Agreed?”

Everyone nodded, and the conversation shifted to a different topic. I slumped in my seat a little when I realized what my non-conformist nature had gotten me into this time.

What if he said no?

Chapter 3
I got lucky the next two hours. No sign of Gerard in history or grammar. Then of course, he showed up across the room from my spot in literature. I sighed and kept my eyes focused on the teacher, an action unusual for me, and tried to ignore him while thinking about how I could ever possibly approach the dance with him. I knew he would refuse. And when he did, it would just be his fault when rumors about us spread. Because I would be completely oblivious to the fact that stories were circulating about me and blossoming into something completely warped and parallel to the original rumor. And he would be the one this all blew up on. He would probably care. Get all down-trod and cast out.

This was starting to sound better and better.

“So, class, as you know, we have been studying Greek mythology lately. And, two weeks from now, you’ll present a simple oral presentation about one god or goddess. It can be a minor god, an Olympian, or any kind of mythical creature presented in the stories we’ve gone over in class. Pretty simple, right? All you gotta do is describe who they were, what they could do, and what part of the world they explained. Here’s where it gets harder. You’ll have to partner up with someone I already picked at random, and make the presentation together.” A collective groan passed through the class as Mr. Smith stood and began passing out papers explaining the requirements. “These papers list who you’ve partnered with. Have fun!”

Bite me, I snapped mentally just as one of the crisp white papers landed on my desk. I was paired with…Gerard. I felt my head hit the desk rather painfully. I just couldn’t escape this guy. Mr. Smith let the groups gather to work out a good idea. I was just straightening up to get my stuff together before the bell rang when I noticed Gerard was standing in front of me.

I rolled my eyes when I noticed his glare. “When are you free next?” I asked.

“Tonight, I guess. And the night after that. And after that, and after that. Being the new kid here doesn’t exactly open up a lot of chances to go clubbing.”

I had to snicker at that. “Tell you what. I’ve been wanting some good hot chocolate for a few days now. Can we meet at that coffee shop down the street after school?”

“Sure. You text?”

I laughed. “More than most people.”

So I’m pretty sure this is assault in some country in the Middle East, but he pulled out a pen and scribbled his number onto the back of my hand. I felt my heart beat speed up in my chest. His hand was cold. Not like stone or like he’d been outside too long, but cold and clammy.
Like that of a dead body.
“Call me anytime. I never sleep.”

Then the bell rang and he left, leaving me to wonder what just happened.

I shook my head and gathered up my books. After stopping at my locker to dump in my stuff, I found my car in the maze that is the parking lot and threw open the spray-painted door. That’s right. I freaking spray painted my car. I decided, since it was a piece of crap and all, it didn’t deserve a fancy paint job. And I really wanted it black.

I got in and blared the crappy stereo so that it drowned out the wail of the engine. I flipped on a My Chemical Romance album, which sounded amazingly better than the radio, and I was on my way. When I got home, I had three missed calls. I rolled my eyes, thankful that my music made it hard for me to answer when Tina called. I had a voicemail from her too, asking if I’d done it yet. I was wondering why I hadn’t deleted her from my phone already when I realized I was still in my car.

I climbed out and went upstairs, locking myself in my room. I collapsed in front of my laptop on my bed, searching the Olympians, just to review the stuff I already knew. Greek mythology fascinated me. Maybe Apollo…I was thinking, scrolling through the list.

“Hey, it’s Sam. We should do Apollo for the project,” I texted Gerard.

He responded quickly. “Uh no. Thanatos, the personification of death itself. What time do you plan to show at the coffee house?”

“5?”

“It works.”

I nodded slowly at the phone, tossing it aside. I typed “Thanatos” into the search bar.

“Thanatos is the god (personification) of death, the son of Nyx, goddess of night, and Erebus, god of darkness, twin brother of Hypnos, god of sleep.”

I stopped reading and scrolled through a few more links, all of them confirming it. Thanatos was indeed the personification of death in Greek literature, the son of night and darkness, brother of sleep. How lovely. But I could deal. It was actually kind of interesting, his story. He’d once been captured by the criminal Sisyphos who trapped him in a bag to avoid death.

I jumped when my mom knocked on my door. “Hey babe. Wanna come help with dinner?”

I glanced at the clock. Crap. Four thirty. I got up and slung my book bag over my shoulder, pausing to grab my phone, and opened the door to face my mother. “Sorry. I gotta go meet my partner for a project in school.”

“Who’s your partner?” she asked, letting me pass.

“This new guy named Gerard.” I hit the stairs running, willing this conversation to at least wait till dinner.

“Is he cute?”

I would have answered, but I was already out the front door and in my car, starting the engine.

Chapter 4
I sighed when she stared out the window curiously at me as I backed out. I threw my bag next to my books in the passenger seat and headed off down the street, my music growing louder. I reached the coffee shop right at five. I came in to see him seated at a table in the back. He caught my eye as I stepped in, but I stopped at the counter to get a hot cocoa before sitting across from him.

“Evening,” he said without smiling.

“Hello. So I searched this Thanatos guy and he sounds okay, but are you sure you wanna study up on him?”

“Yeah. He and I have a lot in common.”

I stared at him funny for a second, then just shook my head and pulled my literature book onto the table. I flipped it open, rifling through its thin pages. “I don’t know if he’s in here, but doesn’t hurt to—“

“He’s not,” he said, flipping the book shut on my fingers. “Here.” He pulled a laptop out of his bag and typed something in, then scooted closer to show me. I focused on the screen. He’d pulled up Google and was scrolling through the links that came up when he searched “Thanatos.”

“So Thanatos was a minor god, and thus he’d be at the back of the list…”

He found the name and clicked it. The page I’d found earlier popped up, and he started scrolling through it, more for himself than for me.

“So what do you have in common with Thanatos?” I asked.

He was silent for a while before finally saying, “It’s complicated.”

I wanted to ask him more, but the look he gave me made me stop dead. “So this thing has to be ten pages long. What are we gonna talk about?” he asked without looking at me.

“Um…well, what do you think Thanatos’s personality would have been like?”

“Sad. Bringing death to that many people must have sucked. Unless he thought he was doing them a favor. But I don’t think so. Think about having to control who dies and when, every second of every day. Forcing them to leave this world, leave their families to mourn them, leave everything behind. Destroying lives. No one would ever enjoy that. And then to be unable to change anything…”

I had a weird feeling we weren’t talking about Thanatos anymore.

“What a sad life Thanatos must have had…or at least I think he would.”

I watched him as he gazed at the laptop without really seeing it. I felt like I should try to comfort him somehow, maybe take his hand, I didn’t know. Just something.

“But he was the twin brother of sleep. So wouldn’t that mean he was just, for once, bringing them peace, if only for a little while before going to the Underworld?” I asked.

He turned to me then, an odd look crossing his face. “Bringing peace to whom? The one dying or the ones left behind?”

“The ones dying.”

“Then what of those left behind? And what if the person dying already has peace?”

“What if the person dying only thinks they have peace?”

The silence that followed was suddenly broken by the ringing of my phone in my coat pocket. I dug it out and hit the green button. “Yeah?”

“Come home,” my mom said. “Dinner’ll be ready in ten minutes.”

I got up. “Well, this was fun. I’ll text you, okay?”

“Where are you going?” he asked, almost looking like he didn’t want me to go.

“I gotta go eat dinner. Look, I’ll see you tomorrow. I really gotta go. If I’m late, I’m dead. Bye.” I turned and left the shop before he could call me back.

Chapter 5
I climbed into the car, blinking to keep my contacts moisturized and clear. I hadn’t even touched the subject of the dance. What had Gerard meant, he had a lot in common with this mythical god? Why had he seemed so…truthful when discussing the god’s lifestyle? Almost like…almost like he was confessing to something.

I glanced in my rearview mirror to see Gerard through the window of the coffee shop, staring at his computer without touching it. Then I put the key in the ignition and listened as it roared to life. Throwing it into reverse, I hit the gas and turned up my music. Then I drove out of there as fast as I could.

I was home in time for dinner.


The next day I arrived at school early—a feat that is to this day unexplainable. I was sitting in my car, reading, when I heard a tapping on my window. I glanced up from the novel I’d been reading to see Tina peering in, her boyfriend Micheal standing behind her, a guy who had once made a barbaric comment about my boobs and I had since avoided him at all costs. I rolled down my window to face her.

“Hello, Sammy dear,” she smiled, sickly sweet.

“Can I help you? In case you didn’t realize, I’m trying to read here.”

“Well then, if you’re gonna be that way…”

“Don’t worry, I am. What do you want?”

“Have you asked him yet?”

I rolled my eyes. “No.” I put the window back up and, no matter how much she banged on it, didn’t roll it back down. I waited until she left, then hesitantly got out of the car, glancing around to make sure she wasn’t hiding behind the bushes.

When I got into homeroom, I noticed that Sarah wasn’t in her spot behind me. I knew she was here—the chick was never sick or late. She was better with time deadlines than me. I slunk into my spot before Ms. Isobel noticed I wasn’t on time. Hey, when your locker is on the other end of the hall from the classroom, and there’s a lot of people to talk to, it’s hard to make it in time for first hour.


“Ah, how nice of you to join us, Samantha. Will this be your fifth tardy this month?”

I sighed. “Sixth.”

She smiled. “You might just set a record. This one’ll land you in after school detention.”

She finally began today’s lecture, and I let my head hit the desk. My mom was gonna kill me. I glanced up through my thick veil of hair to see Gerard snickering at me. I had a sudden urge to smack him.



Later that day, I headed into prison, Mr. McMillian glancing up when I entered, nodding, not surprised in the least that I got detention. Again. I claimed a seat in the back, as alone as I could get, so no one could bug me. I pulled out a book and was absorbed in it when the door opened, and there stood Gerard. I rolled my eyes. He’d probably come to smirk at me some more. Instead, he leaned over McMillian’s desk, asking something in a voice so hushed I almost didn’t hear it.

McMillian nodded. “Just keep it down to a dull roar.”

Gerard met my eyes and claimed the seat next to me. “I found a book in the library,” he said in a hushed voice. He leaned over his bag and pulled out an old tome, its leather wrinkled with time. “It’s got a lot of stuff on Thanatos in here.”

“Okay. What’d you do to get yourself stuck in here?” I asked as he flipped through it.

“I decided not to show up for sixth hour history.”

I laughed quietly. “Nice.”

“Ah, here we are.” He pulled his desk closer to mine so we could share the book. He’d opened it to a page with a picture of a bearded man dragging a limp form along the grass. “Thanatos,” he said, pointing to the guy with the beard. “He’s claiming another victim. And here,” he said, turning the page. “There’s all kinds of stories about him.”

“First things first,” I said, grabbing my notebook from my bag. “Where does his story begin?”

As we pored over detail after detail of the god’s life, time passed. We were released from detention, leaving me to go home to my parents and try to explain why I was once again in trouble.

“You need a ride?” Gerard asked as we stepped into the frigid winter air.

“I got a car,” I said, pulling my coat up around my neck. “Why are you suddenly being nice to me?”

“Would you prefer I glared more?”

I looked up at him then. I could tell he wasn’t fooling around. Something had made him stop, and if I pushed it, he’d be back to staring at me like a squashed bug under his shoe.

“What is up with you? You pulled a 180 and now you’re threatening to spin right back?”

“Not exactly. I’ll see you around, all right?”

“Hey!” I called when he turned to walk away. “I got three pages of otherwise useless stuff on some Greek god named Thanatos. Are you gonna make me do this project alone?”

He didn’t even turn around.

Chapter 6
I was back to hating Gerard again when I got home. He wouldn’t even answer me. And then, to make matters worse, when I checked my phone, I had a voicemail from everyone’s favorite—Tina. She was totally ready to spread the news the second I asked him. I should have never accepted that bet.

“I’m such an idiot,” I moaned, dragging a hand through my hair.

I climbed out of the car and headed into the house. I collapsed on my bed and let my eyes slip closed.

I was in no way willing to go to the dance with Gerard. But now I couldn’t back out. Of course not. I’d gotten Tina too excited. Backing out now would result in unnecessary drama that I could definitely live without. Possibly a cat fight. I had known better than to get tangled up in schemes like this. Anything Tina has any part at all in screams of backstabbing high school girls.

I literally growled under my breath when my phone buzzed on my night stand. I rolled over and glared at the screen. Sarah texted me, wanting to know how detention went. I rolled my eyes at her teasing and threw the phone against the wall, causing it to shut off and remain silent. Then I curled up and fell asleep.


When I woke it was around midnight. Due to my going to bed early, I was completely well rested and, since I’d skipped dinner, hungry. I went downstairs and scavenged through the pantry till I found what I was looking for: cereal. I don’t know why. I just really wanted some cereal. After devouring some Count Chocula, I was up, carrying the bowl to the sink so I could wash it out. Without knowing it, I splashed some milk on the floor. This served as a problem because not ten seconds later, as I walked away from the sink, I nearly went tumbling, head-first, into the floor. But I caught myself with the help of a counter halfway down, pulling myself up to stare at the knife block in front of my face and catch my breath.

An odd, random, interesting thought occurred to me.

Though I’d used those very knives many times to chop up some vegetables, I’d never cut myself. I wondered how bad it’d hurt. I wondered how bad it would hurt…if I slashed one across my neck.

Is there pain in dying? Only one way to find out ,said a nasty voice in my head. I slowly pulled out a large, sharp knife, which gleamed in the light, as if smiling at me. I ran a hand along the blade, noting how the light moved and bounced in different ways. I was suddenly tempted to slit my wrists. Or neck. Or stab myself. Something. I suddenly wanted to die.

My senses rushed back to me all at once. I dropped the knife. It clattered on the ground, the sound snapping me back to reality. Where did that come from? I had never, ever even considered anything like suicide, or cutting. I still whined when I skinned my knee.

I had no idea why I’d just contemplated suicide. The idea made no sense. I was probably just suddenly and completely insane. I mean, even the most mentally unstable people have a reason to go around wishing death on themselves. Maybe they created it in their head, maybe not. But I’d never heard of anyone just seeing a knife and thinking Hey, wonder if it’d hurt to cut my freaking throat open.

I turned and ran upstairs, back to the safety of my room. I sat on my bed, rocking back and forth, wondering what’d come over me. What was wrong?

I didn’t realize I’d fallen asleep until my mom was shaking me awake the next morning, yelling that I’d slept through the alarm clock going off.

Chapter 7
I sped to school as fast as I could. I was just barely into the room before the bell rang. Gerard wasn’t there for first hour. Or second. He also didn’t show for biology to help me dissect a rat. The whole time I held the scalpel I was thinking of the knife last night, wondering what had come over me. I was rather enjoying his absence when he showed for English. I refused to look across the room at him, although my wild imagination was dying to know if he was really staring at me or if it was just me wishing he would.

Wait. Wishing he would?

No. I can’t stand Gerard. This is not gonna happen, I thought urgently.

The bell rang and I got up to gather my stuff, all too eager to escape the room. But Gerard was in front of me in seconds, blocking my only exit.

“I gotta get this project done,” he said.

“Yeah, well, there’s a lot of that going around.”

“Wanna meet after school?”

“Where?”

“My house?”

I don’t know why his suggestion shocked me. I guess it scared me to see his place. But I knew I had to agree. I wanted to finish this project as soon as I could. “Fine. Where do you live?”

“Downtown. It’s hard to find. Can I give you a ride?”

“Um, do you know where I live?”

He laughed. “Not at all. But my car will definitely make it farther than yours. What’s your address?”

“I’m in the house behind the gas station.”

“Yeah, not sure where that is. Just give me an address.”

I told him my address. He nodded, as if remembering each word. “I’ll be over around five. See you.”

I watched him leave the room. One thing I knew for sure. If I didn’t ask him to the dance tonight, Tina would claw my eyes out.


I was sitting, staring out the window, when I saw an unfamiliar car roll to a stop in front of the lawn. I knew it was Gerard even before he called me, telling me to get outside. Sucking in a deep breath, I got up and ran downstairs to his car. It was an old-fashioned Mustang, a sweet muscle car, with a sleek black paint job. But I wasn’t jealous. I knew I didn’t have the money for such a car and I didn’t have the willpower to get it.

I pulled open the door to find him laughing. “Is that your car?” he asked, nodding in the direction of my crappy car sitting in the driveway.

“Don’t diss my car. It’s served me well.”

“Is that spray paint?” he asked, backing out.

“I know you’re jealous.”

He was still laughing when we reached his house across town.

Chapter 8
He had a nice house. Really nice. It towered like an old-fashioned mansion over the dull surrounding landscape, gothic and beautiful. I climbed out of the car, staring open-mouthed at it. Ivy crawled up the walls, accenting the white paint underneath perfectly.

“Like it?” he asked, coming around the car.

I jumped. I hadn’t realized he was even out of the car. “Yeah. It’s gorgeous.”

He smiled. “I’m sure it appreciates your approval.”

I turned my stare at him then. I’d heard him laugh--more than once. But usually, it was just a hollow mockery of the emotion that is happiness, and aimed at me. And now here he was, smiling a real smile. I liked the look for him more than I was willing to admit to myself.

“Shall we?” he asked, gesturing to the front door. I nodded mutely and followed him under the arching doorway and into his castle. The place literally had a medieval feel inside. Stone walls, a fire roaring in the living room, perfect for a king to stand over, rubbing his head and wondering what he’s going to do about the newest problem arising in his kingdom. I still had wide, glassy eyes as I stared around. “My room’s upstairs,” he said. “We can work up there or down here.”

I glanced around one last time. I was slightly afraid of being down here. It was starting to give me the creeps in its authenticity. “Let’s go upstairs,” I mumbled, shivering. He led me up the winding stairs into a more modern-looking level. His room was at the end of the hall.

Okay, this place definitely didn’t give me the creeps. In fact, it was awesome. Black walls, red painted splattered across them to give the impression that they’re dripping blood, black comforter on the bed, flat screen TV, books everywhere. I picked one up off the desk by the door and read the title: Alice in Wonderland.

“Respect the classics,” he said, plucking it out of my hands and tossing it under the bed.

“I never liked that book much.”

“I did. It reminds me of a simpler time.” He suddenly looked like he’d said too much. Shaking his head, he sat at the desk and opened his laptop. “Pull up a chair,” he said.

I grabbed one from in front of the TV and dragged it up next to his. Grabbing my notebook, I read over our notes from yesterday. “We got basically everything about him…except his love interests,” I said, scanning the page.

“I don’t think he had any.”

“He had to. All the gods do. Everyone does at some point in their lives.”

He glanced at me in a weird way, as if I’d just said something so sad, yet so true. I reached over him and clicked on an interesting looking link. What I read next freaked me out:

Thanatos might be poetically called the brother of HYPNOS (Sleep) and the son of Nyx but no matter how you describe him, he is a creature of bone chilling darkness. From on high, HELIOS (the Sun) never casts his light on Death.
Hypnos goes kindly among the mortals but, his brother, Thanatos has a heart made of pitiless iron. When he takes hold of you, the world of light ceases to be.

Gerard gasped next to me, frantically hitting the back button, exiting out of the page.


“Hey! I was reading that!” I complained, trying to open the page back up.


“I…I can’t read that.” He looked sad.

“Why not?” I knew I was hitting a rough subject. Something he knew better than to talk about. But I was mad he’d exited out of what I had found and was interested in reading. And I had to know what his problem was. I was tired of his moodiness, the way he was hiding something big and wouldn’t talk about it.

“It’s personal.”

I rolled my eyes. “Who am I gonna tell?”

The look he gave me wasn’t far from a glare. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” I challenged. “I gotta know what’s up with you. It’s confused me from Day 1.”

“Just a mistake, made long ago. Doesn’t matter anymore. There’s nothing to be done to change it.”

I stared at him, trying to convey nonverbally that this wasn’t over.

“Nothing here says Thanatos ever had a love interest,” he said then, drawing my attention back to the screen.

“How is that possible? That’s not how Greek mythology works. There’s always gotta be some love affair, someone perfect for that god or goddess, and they always go to extreme lengths to reach that person. It adds drama and pulls in the listeners, and helps to create more gods of more things.”

“Maybe love just wasn’t gonna fit in Death’s story,” he said, meeting my eyes.

I found myself leaning closer. “Shouldn’t it always fit?”

“Sometimes it doesn’t.”

“Maybe he just didn’t find the right girl.”

“Maybe he just didn’t want to do something stupid and get hurt.”

“Sometimes it’s worth it to do something stupid.”

“Sometimes it’s not.”

“Are you reluctant to take that chance?”

“Very.”

Our faces were inches from each other. We had been so absorbed in what we were saying we didn’t realize how close we were getting. We stared at each other for a minute, wondering what to do next. I knew he was trying to decide if it was okay to kiss me, just as I was wondering the same about him.

“Do you have a date to the dance in two weeks?” I asked softly.

He shook his head.

“Wanna go with me?”

“Sure.”

Phase one of my mission: complete.

Chapter 9
Iegeiog
I broke the silence first by turning to the computer and sighing. “So, you win. No love interests for Thanatos.”

He blinked, seeming to surface from some kind of memory. “Yeah, of course,” he said, scrolling down the page.

I scribbled down a few more notes. “Okay, this should be enough. Let’s start typing up the report.”

He opened a clear document and we filled up about ten pages, planning to actually read aloud about three of them. When that was done, he asked if I was hungry. I said yeah, and soon I was walking close behind him, down the stairs and into the creepy part of his house. It made me feel like I was completely out of place, from the future, if you will.


“So, um, your house is really…authentic,” I said.

“I know. My parents are obsessed with the Middle Ages. I’m just waiting on them to get a guillotine.”

I laughed softly, trailing a hand along the wall. “Where are your parents?”

“Most likely downstairs, poring over their books. You like spaghetti?”

“You cook?” I asked, sitting at the ordinate, wooden table as he moved around behind the counter.

“Yeah. It’s a good distraction.”

“Distraction from what?”

“Life.”

I fell silent as I watched him fill a pot with water and set it on the stove.

“Do you need help?” I asked.

“Nah, it’s fine.”

“So what do you like to do in your spare time?” I asked, deciding to interview him since I was bored.

“I read. I cook. I drive around aimlessly. I listen to music. I sometimes play an instrument, like guitar or piano, when I can get a hold of one. Sometimes I even write poetry, but it’s really bad and I usually end up throwing it away.”

“Where did you live before you came here?”

“I’ve lived everywhere.”

“You got a girlfriend waiting for you to move back?”

He didn’t say anything for a few minutes. “No,” he said finally after I wondered if I’d asked the wrong thing.

“What’s your favorite subject in school?”

“Literature,” he said, pouring sauce onto the steaming noodles.

“Do you have a job?”

“I did. Not anymore. I’m looking for a new one.”

“Do you get good grades?”

He glanced up at me from under his thick hair. “Do you?”

I coughed and quickly changed the subject. “What music do you like?”

“I like a little bit of everything.”

“What’s your favorite animal?”

“The raven,” he mused, suddenly distant and distracted. A timer went off at the stove and he jumped, reaching over to shut it off, bringing him back to reality. Then, pouring the meal onto two plates, he sat down across from me, and I tried to pry more out of him.

Chapter 10
“So what’s your life story?” I asked, taking a sip of the water he’d gotten for me. “What are your deepest, darkest secrets?”

He gave me a you-don’t-want-to-know look. “I’ve made some serious mistakes, I guess.”

“Okay, out with it. Spill your guts. It won’t leave this room.”

“I really liked this girl. She died. And I messed up. End of story.”

I stared at him for a minute, knowing there was more to it, but also sensing it was a sore subject, and thus needed to be taken lightly. “What was her name?” I asked softly.

“Selena,” he murmured, staring at the table, obviously lost in his own mind.
“What happened?”

He was silent. I shoveled in another forkful of pasta, waiting for his answer. When he didn’t say anything, I had to say something. “Let me just say I’m only asking ‘cause I can’t find out anything about you, because you’re so guarded it’s like you’ve got all your info on lock-down. And now that I’ve decided you’re not so bad, I’m curious.”

He met my eyes then, the left corner of his lip stretching upward. “Not so bad, eh? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’ve moved up on my list from ‘total jerk’ to ‘not so bad’. Don’t blow it.”

He smiled a full smile then. “Good to know.”

We finished the rest of the meal in silence. He got up, collecting my empty plate along with his own, tossing them in the sink and grabbing his car keys off the counter. I wordlessly followed him down the hall and out the front door, onto the lawn. Night had fallen around us. The stars dotted the sky around a beautiful full moon. I gazed up at it until Gerard called my attention back to earth.

“Hello?” he said.


I shook my head and met his eyes. “Yeah? Sorry. I was dozin’.”

He rolled his eyes. “I was saying, I’ll go over the project later, do some proof reading and stuff. Then we’ll have to meet to discuss how we’re gonna present it. After that, you won’t have an excuse to ever show up here again.”

I sighed. “’Cause that’s not harsh or anything.”

He laughed and climbed into the car. “Never.”

I got in next to him, gazing out the window, watching his amazing house fade into the distance. “I like your house.”

“I don’t,” he mumbled, more to himself than to me. The car went faster as we left the neighborhood. Soon we were parked in front of my house.

“Well, that was fun,” I joked.

He smirked. “I’ll go get something to wear to that stupid dance.”

“Excuse me, but you will be with me, and thus it cannot physically suck.”

He turned to me and smiled then, another genuine smile, as though I’d said something that he hadn’t heard in years. “Of course. Good night, Samantha.”

The way he said my name made me pause. It was as though he’d carefully thought about the word over and over again until finding out the perfect way to articulate each syllable. It was like he sang it. It almost made me smile. “Good night,” I muttered, climbing out of the car and going inside my house without looking back.

Chapter 11
The next few days were oddly peaceful. Gerard and I coexisted, walked together to the classes we shared, and were overall civil to each other. Nothing about him made me mad anymore. I actually kind of…liked it. It gave me an odd sense of comfort to be talking to him.

On the afternoon of Wednesday, he invited me over again Thursday, just to go over the project quickly and make sure we knew what we were gonna do. I accepted. Thursday afternoon I found myself raiding my closet, making sure my skirt, with its chains and tears, fit just right over my boots. I smiled when I pulled out an old black tee shirt my brother had given me for my birthday one year. He’d admitted it was a crappy gift, but I’d accepted it gracefully, ideas already blooming as to what I’d do to make it awesome. I’d torn it, I’d cut it, I’d stretched it, until holes showed off the purple tank I always wore underneath, only half of its practically destroyed, over-stretched collar clinging to my right shoulder. I really liked how it’d turned out. I pulled it over my head and, pausing to add some eyeliner—something I never did, I was out the door by the time Gerard was there to get me.

I didn’t know what had come over me or why I was dressing up. It was just Gerard, after all. Or was it just that? I didn’t know. Well, too late to change, I thought, pulling open the car door.

“You look nice,” he commented, making my cheeks turn red.

“I gotta go out to dinner with my parents after this,” I said nonchalantly. “But we’re going to a restaurant I hate, so I decided to wear what’ll really annoy them—one of my favorite outfits,” I gestured to the getup I wore.

He laughed. “Very nice. I like it.” He looked me up and down, making me warm all over.

Get a grip, I thought sternly. This is GERARD.

“Thanks,” I smiled. “I do too.”

He backed out of the driveway and sped across town, just barely going over the speed limit. We reached his house pretty quickly. In fact, sooner than I thought possible, I was in his room, sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, counting the glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling, as he kept talking about boring stuff I had already tuned out.

“Are you listening?” he asked suddenly, pulling me back to reality.

“Uh, yeah,” I said. He shook his head, getting up from the desk and sitting down next to me.

“We’re gonna fail this. Not ‘cause we have a bad report, but ‘cause we have terrible presentation.”

I shrugged. “Can’t be that bad. After all, Thanatos is pretty interesting.”

“I think his life must have sucked.”

“Why? Because he had no love interests?” I teased, smiling.

“I bet that had something to do with it,” he laughed, meeting my eyes.

“And have you ever had any love interests?”

“Once. But it’s over. I think I told you about Selena. You?”

“Once upon a dream,” I laughed. “Every time I tried, it always turned out that the guy was lying to me. Or he was just a player.”

“And have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a guy who wasn’t lying or looking to get some?”

“Many times,” I murmured. We were closer than ever before. Our faces couldn’t have been more than an inch apart. I wasn’t wondering if I could kiss him anymore. I knew I could. I was just waiting on him. He leaned in then, and obliged me. His silver lip ring pressed against my lower lip, somehow deepening the kiss. His hands moved to my face, cupping my cheek, twining into my hair. His cold hands suddenly felt welcoming, not gross. Alive, not dead. I leaned closer, my fingers curling around the fabric of his shirt, willing him not to lean away, to stay this close forever.

Our lips disconnected.

He laughed almost weakly. “Now that is something I haven’t done in a while.”

I smiled, reaching up to brush the hair out of his eyes. “Well you’re still good at it.”

He leaned forward, probably planning to kiss me again, and I was fully ready to let him, but my phone ringing in my pocket made us pause halfway toward each other. I turned away and answered. “Can I call you back?”


“Okay, Sammy, moment of truth. Did you ask him to the dance?” Tina sounded too sweet, like poisoned honey.

I detested the name Sammy. It made me mad. “Yes, Tina, I did. And please, don’t bother calling me again. I’m deleting your number from my phone, and I won’t pick up next time. Also, if you ever call me Sammy again, I swear I’m gonna claw your eyes out with my bare hands. Goodbye.” I hit the end button and threw the phone against the wall.

Gerard laughed. “You probably just broke your phone.”

“Eh. It’s been through worse.”

“Wanna grab some dinner? There’s a nice Chinese place down the street,” he said, helping me up.

“Um, no, I gotta go. Dinner with my parents, remember? How about we do this for the project: we read the stuff we have out loud to the room, and at each new page one person will stop reading and the other will start. It’s simple, sweet, and sure to be just like everyone else’s. Wanna know what makes ours different?”

“Sure.”

“Ours is amazing.”

He laughed. “So I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“If you decide to show up,” I smirked. “Bye, Gerard.”

And then I left his room, despite the fact I wanted to stay.

Chapter 12
I told Gerard not to bother taking me home, since it was a warm night, and our town was pretty small. I would walk. It wasn’t that far if you knew the shortcuts I knew.

I found my way out of his neighborhood and started down Main Street. I was pretty hungry, and the only reason I’d turned down dinner with Gerard is because I had told him I was going to have dinner with my parents and the last thing I needed was him catching on that I was covering up the fact I’d totally been looking forward to our meeting a little too much. The thought made me feel vulnerable and stupid. So instead of venturing down that road, I would eat alone, since my parents were out to dinner somewhere in a nearby city.

Spying a small diner at the end of the street, I headed towards it, opening the door and sending the bell over it ringing. I grabbed a table in the back, away from the windows, and ordered a burger and fries. Nothing fancy. The place filled up around me, and soon every other table except the one I sat at was filled with chattering people.
I pulled a book out of my bag and stuck my nose in it until I heard someone clear their throat nearby. I looked up. An incredibly hot guy leaned over my table. He was everything my mother would disapprove of: tattoos crawling up and down his muscular arms, his ears, lip, and eyebrow all pierced to where they almost looked like a bulletin board, an I’m-up-to-no-good smile playing on his lips. His glistening blue eyes sparkled at me from underneath his blood red hair.
“Hey,” he said in a musical voice. “I’m sorry to bother you, but there’s nowhere to sit around here, and I’m starved. Can I sit here?” he gestured to the chair across from me.
Now under normal circumstances I totally would have told him to buzz off and find a different restaurant. But this guy was flat-out sexy, staring at me with those amazing eyes. “Uh, sure,” I said, trying to keep my voice from getting stuttery and high-pitched.
“Thanks,” he said, sitting down. “So what’s your name?”
“Samantha. And yours?”
He smirked like there was an inside joke I was missing. “Lucian.”
The waitress brought me my food then, and he ordered himself a Coke and nothing more.
“So, Samantha, where do you live?”
“Across town.”
“You still in high school?”
“Are you?”
He laughed. “Nah. I dropped out the first chance I got. Everyone was so pushy there. There was no room for originality.”
I nodded, listening as I shoved food into my mouth.
“You got a boyfriend in high school?” he asked, his tone dropping to something darker, more seductive.
“Um…it’s complicated,” I said, not sure where Gerard and I stood, and not wanting to bring him up.
“How complicated?” he grinned, exposing perfectly white teeth. “Too complicated to fool around a little on the side?” his leg brushed against mine under the table.
Now, once again, under normal circumstances, I would have thrown my soda at him and left, due to the fact that the guy sitting across from me was definitely a pig, nothing but a player who was really good at giving looks that said a thousand words for him. But, again, he was flat-out sexy, and at the time he didn’t come across as piggish or promiscuous. He was obviously good at what he did, because he had me completely entranced.
I couldn’t stop myself from smiling and saying, “Nowhere near that complicated.”
He laughed again. “Then what do you say we ditch this joint and head somewhere a little more…private?”
Now, yet again, under normal circumstances, I would have known better. I would have known this was moving way too quickly and was very dangerous, due to the fact the gorgeous guy in front of me could be looking to mug me. Or worse. But, yet again, I wasn’t thinking about that. I was thinking about the mischievous glint in his eye, the intense desire washing over me that seemed to be turning into a need to say yes and go with him.
“Let’s do it.”
And, dropping some cash on the table, I let him lead me out of the diner and into the alley behind it.

Chapter 13
His arms were around me the minute we were alone. His lips brushed against mine, sending delicious waves of pleasure through me, and a seemingly insatiable need for more. He backed me into a wall, his hands sliding under my shirt to my bare back, his lips moving to my neck.

“There’s a motel down the street,” he said in between kisses. “We can get there fast.”

“Samantha?”

The perfect pronunciation of my name made me turn to the entrance to the alley. Gerard stood there, looking like he knew full well what was going on but was afraid to accept it. “Samantha, get away from him.” He started down the alley towards us.

Lucian smiled. “Well, well, well, look who it is. Finally come crawling out of your hole, have you, Gerard? Stay away from this. It’ll only get you into trouble.”

“What?” I asked, looking between the two, trying to figure out what was going on. “How do you know each other?”

Gerard yanked Lucian’s arms off me and pushed me behind him. “Leave her out of this. It’s not her fault. She didn’t know.”

Lucian laughed, backing away. “All right, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. Stay away from her, Gerard. You know the rules.”

And then he left, leaving me to stare at Gerard, who looked scared half to death.

“What was that?” I asked as he took my arm, leading me down the alley toward where his car was parked.

“Stay away from that guy, Samantha.”


“Why?”

“Because. He’s not…he’s not normal.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just stay away from him. He’s dangerous.”

“Like how? Serial killer? Rapist? What?”

“Tell me this. Would you have gone with him if it weren’t for the way he was looking at you?”


“Um…no. I wouldn’t have dreamed of it.”

“And that right there is why you need to stay away.”

“Well who is he? How do you know him?”

“What did he tell you his name was?”

“Lucian.”

He laughed, pushing me toward the passenger side of his car. “Get in. I’m taking you home.”

“Not if you don’t answer my questions!”

“Okay. You wanna know who that guy really was? His name’s not Lucian. His name…”

“What’s his name, Gerard?”

“His name is Lucifer.”

Chapter 14
“You mean like, fallen-angel Lucifer? The one who ended up as Satan?”

“The very one. That guy? He’s an immortal, evil being, who has been alive since before the world was created. He’s the devil. Literally.”

“Wow….” The term “the devil made me do it,” never quite made as much sense as it did just then. I shivered.

“Yeah. Now get in the car.”

I obeyed. He slid in next to me and started the engine.

“How do you know all this?”

“That’s not an easy answer,” he said, backing out of the parking lot.

“Please. You just told me the devil himself singled me out of the six billion people on this planet and yet you think it’s not an easy answer? How did you know that, Gerard?”

He sighed. “I told you I made mistakes after Selena died. Can’t we just leave it at that?”

“Um no. No we can’t. Now starting talking.”

He sighed as he turned onto a crowded intersection. “I thought I loved her more than anything. After she died, I thought I had nothing left to live for. I had to see her again. I contemplated suicide many times. I swore I’d see her again, if it was the last thing I ever did.

“He came to me in a dream. He told me he could let me see her again. And more. He told me all I had to do was sign the paper, and all my dreams would come true…” his words choked off then. He closed his eyes as the traffic crawled along, clearly fighting back tears. “I was grief-stricken and careless. I knew this was my one chance to achieve my goal. So I signed it without hesitation or care. I told him I’d do whatever he wanted, as long as he wanted, as long as he held his end of the deal. I had to see Selena. That’s all I thought about.

“Then he told me what I had to do. I had to be the personification of death. Just like Thanatos,” he murmured, choking out a humorless laugh. “I would have to create natural disasters, plague innocent people with disease, destroy lives and pull apart families. I had to do this for twenty years, and then I could be with my precious Selena once again.

“It was horrible. I hated it. I saw the face of every single person who died because of me. I felt their pulse go still, their bodies go cold and numb. They were damned, all of them, to eternity of misery in hell. I kept thinking of Selena, knowing it would end once I saw her again, that this was easy compared to what I could have had to do. I thought of her smiling face, her lips on mine, the warmth of her hand entwined with mine.” He shook his head.

“I got to see her after twenty years, of course. He told me I had one day with her and to make it last. I planned to. I was so happy, so ready for her to be in my arms again. And at first, it was just like the old days. We were so perfectly happy together, so in love. But I soon realized this wasn’t how she was before. She was cold, distant, and above all…sad. She wasn’t Selena. She was nothing but a hollow mockery of the girl I used to know. When that day was over, I was almost…relieved. Relieved to not have to look at her anymore. And I was definitely happy to be free of the burden that is death.

“But I had trusted the very face of dishonesty. He told me I wasn’t free, that I couldn’t be free, because he couldn’t find anyone else to take my job. That I was stuck like this. That it wasn’t his problem. That I’d sold my soul. It was too late now.” A lone tear ran down his face. “Because of my reckless decisions, I have to murder innocent people. And the worst part is, I’m immortal. I can’t succumb to that which I create. I’m stuck like this. Forever.”

We were in front of my house by now. I stared at him, transfixed by the pain on his face. He was like a wounded animal--lost, alone, afraid. I reached out and took his hand, making him turn to me. The look on his face was begging me to tell him I didn’t care, that I would stay next to him, ease his pain. My fingers laced through his.

“I…I don’t know what to say,” I whispered.

“Tell me that it doesn’t matter to you. Tell me you won’t run away from me like everyone else. Tell me that I won’t regret telling you. Tell me that the connection I feel to you is because I can trust you, not because I shouldn’t. Tell me…tell me that this doesn’t affect whatever we had when we kissed.”

I slowly leaned forward and gently pressed my lips to his. I leaned away just as slowly. “Good night, Gerard.”

“Samantha,” he murmured as I turned to go.

I stopped and glanced back at him.

“Promise me this won’t ruin it. I’ve needed someone to break this cycle for a long time. It’s always been the same. I wake up, I live, emotionless and numb like the people I’ve killed, and then I sleep at night, but only halfway. I have to stay awake to kill people around the world. And I can’t stand it. So save me. I need you.”

In that moment, it clicked into place for me. He wasn’t an evil entity, like, say, Thanatos or Satan. He wasn’t the cold, merciless face of death depicted in movies, books and pictures. He was sad, regretful, and numb with the pain. I climbed into the driver’s seat next to him and wrapped my arms around him.

“It doesn’t matter to me. I won’t run away like everyone else. You won’t regret telling me. You can trust me. This doesn’t affect anything. I promise this won’t ruin it.” I leaned in and kissed him then, a real kiss, not a quick brushing of the lips.

I’d only known this guy a little over a week. But for whatever reason, I knew our meeting was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

Chapter 15
I gazed at myself in the mirror. I looked so different than usual. The report at school today had gone smoothly and without a problem. Gerard had invited me to dinner at a restaurant downtown to celebrate. I was wearing a corseted dress, purple ribbons lacing their way around the edges of my skirt and criss-crossing up my back, knee high boots complete with skull-and-crossbones laces, and freshly washed (and dried) hair. My eyes were rimmed in black liner, the lids covered in shadow, my face paler than the moon with foundation. Rings wrapped around my fingers, earrings graced my ears, and a black choker with a metal bat dangling off it clutched my neck.

I couldn’t lie to myself. What Gerard said had scared me a little. But not enough to shoo me away. He couldn’t lose me that easily. I was just going to get over it and be with him. Why? Because Gerard was the only person who had ever touched me the way he had, both physically and emotionally. I knew I was his only hope, and I had to help him. I was falling for him hard and fast, but I was okay with that. I had a feeling he wasn’t going to leave me.

My phone buzzed, jolting me out of my thoughts. I grabbed it, reading that Gerard was here and I needed to get downstairs before we were late for our reservation. I hit the stairs running, slinging my studded purse over my shoulder.

“What are you all dressed up for?” my mom asked, pulling on her coat.

“What are you all dressed up for?”

“Your dad’s out of town and I was gonna go to dinner with my friends.”

“And I’m going to dinner with my friends.”

“Am I gonna get to meet him any time soon?”

“Him?”

“The guy you’re all dressed up to meet.”

I didn’t spend much time with my mom due to her job, but I had to hand it to her. She was good.

“He and I are going to the dance next week. You can meet him then.”

I threw open the front door and started across the lawn. Gerard smiled at me when I opened the door. “Good evening,” he said. He glanced behind me and saw my mom getting in her car, watching us. “Your mom, I take it?”

I nodded. He waved at her, then pulled out of the driveway and into the street. The restaurant was an Italian place. He pulled into a parking place and came around to open the car door for me. He smiled, looking me up and down, taking in my outfit as I climbed out.

“You look amazing.”

I blushed. “You too.” And he did. He wore black jeans, an Asking Alexandria tee, and combat boots. His black hair was brushed over his forehead, brushing his shoulders. He pulled me close and kissed me quickly.

“What do you say after this we head out for ice cream or something?”

“Sounds great,” I said, twining my hand around his and starting toward the restaurant. We got a table in the back corner of the restaurant, nice and private. I ordered a fettuccini alfredo and he got spaghetti. “More spaghetti?” I smirked when the waitress walked away.

“Don’t judge me,” he muttered, taking a bite of the bread in the center of the table.

“So tell me. Can someone come back from the dead?”

“You mean like a ghost?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“That much is out of my control. It’s happened before, to the people Satan really wants to torment.”

“What if….what if you just stopped?” I asked after a beat of silence.

“What do you mean?”

“If you just refused to kill anyone anymore?”

“Well…see, it’s not that simple. If I just stopped, well, people still have to die. Without death there can be no life. Who knows what Satan would do if he were to take it upon himself to take care of the lack of dying people. And…”

“And?”

“Well, if I were to stop, completely, then…”

“Then?”

“If anything Lucifer says can be believed, then I would die.”

Chapter 16
“What?”

“Taking other peoples’ life force gives me the life force I need to keep on living. And the one time I stopped, Lucifer told me there would be serious consequences if I didn’t pick up the slack right then and there. Scared the crap outta me. I decided I wouldn’t do it again after that.”

“What kind of consequences?”

“Do you really need me to answer that?” he asked, glancing up at me from beneath his thick hair.

Horrible scenarios began to run through my head. “Okay, new topic. What was Lucifer talking about when he said you needed to ‘stay away from this’?”

He sighed heavily. “I’m not supposed to be in a romantic relationship with a mortal.”

“Why not?”

“If I knew that I wouldn’t dare break the rules. But Satan is cold and unforgiving. Not a good leader. I feel no obligation to obey him anymore.”

“And what could happen…”

“If we continued this?” He smiled. “Who cares? He can’t hurt you. Not unless you let him. That’s where his power falters. He can do anything to you, no matter how painful or terrible—if you let him. You have to give in, or he has no hold on you. So it’s simple, really. Don’t listen to that mean little voice in your head convincing you to do whatever bad thing you’re tempted to do, and neither of us will deal with any kind of punishment.”

“Really?”

“Really really.”

“So does this mean there’s a god?”

“I think there is. But I’ve never really studied up on it.”

The waitress brought the food then. I stuffed my mouth full so I couldn’t ask the questions burning in my mind—like what it was like to kill people, what he did when he was alone, etc. I was afraid of the answers. He was eating much more slowly, not to mention politely. In fact, I was finished before he was even halfway done. I didn’t let that bother me, though. I always ate a little faster than everyone else. Besides, I wasn’t slow and deliberate in anything. I let my eyes drift to the table cloth, noticing the little white flowers embroidered into the immaculately clean fabric. I wondered what Selena must have looked like. I pictured blonde hair and shining blue eyes. Then her hair turned black. Then I changed it to brown.

“Are you finished, sweetheart?”

The waitress’s voice jolted me out of my thoughts. I sat back and let her take our plates away. Gerard paid the bill and we left the restaurant. We went to a little ice cream shop downtown, got some vanilla cones, and headed off down the sidewalk, holding hands, not yet willing to climb into the car and end the evening. I guess I felt a little stupid, since the whole scene ensuing was totally corny, the kind of thing I constantly avoided in movies.

“So...” he said, sitting on a bench, pulling me down next to him. “You know my deepest, darkest secrets. Let’s hear your life’s story.”

“Um, I was born in this small town, I’ve never had a real shocking or interesting event happen to me, and my life is lived in between school days.”

He smiled. “But that, in itself, is interesting. So tell me about it.”

“I wake up in the morning. I hit the snooze button on my alarm clock five times before finally getting up. I eat breakfast. I leave the house, already late to school. I go to class, try not to fall asleep, unless I should decide to cut class. After school I go home, rot away in front of the computer, and go to sleep at night. And there’s my day.”

He laughed. “That sounds awesome.”

“It gets old after a while,” I muttered.

“Could be worse,” he said, and I heard the extra meaning behind his words.

I squeezed his hand. “What’s your favorite movie?”

“I don’t really like movies. Now music, on the other hand…”

I grinned, happy to have something new to talk about, and we began discussing our favorite bands—from Asking Alexandria to My Chemical Romance--who is, I’m afraid, the best band ever and thus no more comments can be made about them. As we talked, we got up and started, slowly, back to the car.

The start of the ride was silent. Until I had to ask.

“What did Selena look like?”

He didn’t look mad. But he turned into a vacant parking lot and turned to face me, his eyes dark as the sea at night. My curiosity crumbled.

“Forget I asked,” I muttered, turning away.

He gently reached over and, using one hand, turned me back around to face him. “Does it matter?” he whispered. “I can promise you that you’re more beautiful than any girl I’ve ever seen before. Even her. And the truth is, she was nothing to me, not really. It was all in my head.”

“Nothing?”

He smiled sadly. “Nothing compared to what I already feel for you.”

I don’t know what I was about to do—whether I was about to laugh at the corniness of what he just said or swoon at it. My phone rang, splitting the silence. I grabbed it.

“Hello?” I asked breathlessly.

“Dude. What are you doing right now?”

I almost laughed. “I’m busy, Sarah.”

“No! Put down the homework and watch this video!”

“I’m not doing homework.”

“Then get on the freakin’ computer!”

Gerard laughed. “Your phone interrupts at the worst times.”

I met his eyes then, and I shut the phone without realizing I’d done it. His arms were around my waist, his lips on mine, my fingers in his hair before I’d realized we’d gotten close. And then his lips were on my neck, slowly making their way down my skin. “I’ve waited many years for someone like you to come along,” he murmured.

I kissed him, pushing him against the car door on his side, intoxicated by the warmth radiating from his lips.

We broke apart when the car alarm went off.

Chapter 17
I jumped back so fast I slammed into the other car door, giving myself a massive headache. He reached behind him and flipped off the switch I’d unknowingly turned on, and cracked up laughing. I rolled my eyes and buckled my seat belt.

“Forget you then,” I mumbled.

He continued to laugh as he started the engine and drove off down the street. “I guess it’s time you went home.”

I shrugged. “Whatever.”

He stopped in front of my house a few minutes later. “Now remember, if you see Lucifer, and if anything about him scares or tempts you, don’t let it go to your head. As long as you don’t give in, he has no power over you. All right?”

I nodded.

“Good night, Samantha.”

“Where did you learn to say my name like that?”

“Like what?”

“It’s just…never mind. Good night.” I kissed him one last time and, getting out of the car, sadly went inside.


The next morning my phone was ringing. I grabbed it and flipped it open. “Yeah?”

“Why’d you hang up on me? I was gonna invite you to the movies today.”

“I told you I was busy.”

“Were you…were you with Gerard?” Sarah’s voice crept up an octave.

“Um…no.”

But I couldn’t lie to her. Not when it came to things like guys. I was terrible. Now, explaining to teachers what happened to my homework? Oh, I got it down.

“You were, weren’t you?” She laughed. “Oh, that’s so cute!”
I rolled my eyes. “Get over it.”

“Well, my dear Sam, since you ditched me last night, come to the mall with me and we’ll call it fair. Deal?”

“Deal,” I sighed, getting up. “Are we meeting up there or what?”

“I’ll pick you up. You sound tired. I’ll grab you some coffee?”

“Please?”

She laughed again. “See you in half an hour.”

Chapter 18
I realized something was wrong when I entered the mall with my best friend, a coffee clutched in my hand. It hung in the air, this sense of foreboding so strong I nearly ran out. But I stayed next to Sarah as she led me around to all her favorite shops, trying on jeans and shirts, gathering my opinions and then shoving me into the dressing room and throwing black tops over the door at me. I couldn’t worry her, because that worry quickly became curiosity and I knew better than anyone that curiosity quickly led to questions. And while I loved Sarah desperately and usually would confide in her with my deepest darkest secrets, I couldn’t tell her. It would make Gerard have to do something he definitely didn’t want to do—kill more than he had to in order to keep it quiet.

We stopped for lunch just after one o’clock. I got some orange chicken from the Chinese place in the food court, and she grabbed some pizza from the Italian. We settled down to eat, and I saw him across the room, staring directly at me.

Lucifer.

I gasped, nearly coughing up food, causing Sarah to look up as Lucifer’s deceptively sexy face split into a grin. “You okay?” Sarah asked.

“Fine,” I wheezed. “The food just went down the wrong pipe.”

My body was screaming at me to get out of there. Now. The very face of evil sat just across the mall food court from me, grinning because he knew I was terrified.

“I’m just gonna go to the bathroom,” I croaked.

“Okay,” she said, giving me a questioning look as I got up and started towards the bathroom.

I washed my face out in the sink and took deep breaths. I could do this. I could do this. I could—

“Hello, Sammy.”

I turned to face Lucifer, who was behind me (in the freaking ladies’ room!). “I think you know I despise that name.”

“You do? I love it.”

An indescribable kind of venom slipped from between his lips any time he opened them. I was just too blind to see it last time I was with him. I could feel the evil, as if particles of it were floating in the air between us.

I fought to keep my voice level as I responded. Fear pounded through my veins, its icy fingers closing around my throat. I had a limited time before I choked. “What do you want?”

“I want you to stay away from my guy. Gerard is getting rebellious ideas from you. He never had those before you came in. So back off. Or I swear I will kill you in a way that tears you apart before I damn you straight to hell, where you will rot in my clutches forever.”

I stepped back so far the sink jabbed me in the back, but he only leaned closer. He smelled like evil and peppermints. I was about to be sick.

“Gerard is not your little boyfriend. So leave him alone.”

Then he dissolved into nothing, leaving me standing there, shivering.

Chapter 19
“Can you come over?” I asked, curled up on my bed, my phone held to my ear, still shaking like a leaf.

“Are you okay?” Gerard asked.

“Can you come over?” I repeated, grinding my teeth together.

“I’ll be over in about ten minutes.”

I hung up, pulling my knees to my chest. Not five minutes later, Gerard let himself in the front door and came upstairs. “Samantha?”

“In here,” I called.

He opened the door, took in my smeared makeup from crying, my stretched-out tee hanging around my waist over my pajama pants, sat on the edge of my bed and pulled me into his lap. He didn’t ask any questions, just kissed my forehead and held me tight. I lay there for what felt like hours, my head on his chest, sobbing, then crying silently, then just silent shivers again. His heart was slower than normal, about five beats a minute. I took time to count.

Finally he broke the silence to ask, “What happened?”

“I went to the mall, and…and he was there.”

“Satan?”

“Yeah. And…he was so incredibly nasty. I sensed the evil. I could feel it…” I felt fear choke off my air again.

He nodded. “Just breathe. Calm down.”

He rubbed my back as I took shaky deep breaths in and out. “He smelled like peppermints,” I muttered.

We laughed together then, and I felt human again. He leaned in and kissed me softly. “How about we watch a movie, just to take your mind off it?”

I nodded. “Okay.”

And so we went downstairs, popped in a deliciously gory horror flick, and curled up on the couch. I was enjoying watching some chick’s arm getting sliced off in some weird machine when I felt Gerard move behind me. “That’s hot,” he murmured, kissing the back of my head. I felt myself smile and rolled over to look at him, but his lips were on mine before I could make any real observation. There was a sense of urgency in the way his arms tightened around me, his lip ring pressing into my lip. Our lips disconnected and his moved up my jaw to my ear, whispering, “He can’t keep us apart,” making me smile.

Then, as usual, my phone rang. I rolled my eyes and let go of him to answer it.

“What?” I mumbled, Gerard pulling my back against his chest.

“You’ll never guess who I saw today!” Tina said.

“I thought I deleted your number,” I frowned, checking my phone to make sure it was working.

She laughed. “You can delete my number all you want. Nothing stops me from talking to my friends.”

I rolled my eyes, laying my head on Gerard’s shoulder. “You’re delusional, Tina. Goodbye.” I dropped my phone in my lap. Gerard sighed in my ear.

“Well there went that moment.”

I laughed. “Maybe if I destroyed my phone we wouldn’t get interrupted.”

He sighed and turned the movie back on. “It doesn’t matter now.”

Chapter 20
“You look gorgeous,” my mom smiled. “Turn around a few times.”

I rolled my eyes as I played model for my mother. If you can make it through this, you can survive the dance without a problem, I thought. Right now I was trying on a black and purple dress that wasn’t really my style, but it made my mom grin and clap when the light hit it and made the sequins sparkle. “Can we try on the one I actually like?” I asked.

She sighed. “Oh, whatever.”

I went back into the dressing room and slid the silky fabric over my body. It was an awesome dress. It was about knee length, black and slimming. I can’t really describe it, but it had thin straps, a ribbon wrapping around the middle, and it was made of a shimmery kind of fabric made to look like silk. It was nothing fancy, but I really liked it.

I stepped out for my mom to see me. She gasped. “Oh, Samantha, it’s gorgeous.”

I turned to see myself in the mirror. In that instant, I knew. It was the dress I would wear to the dance that was two days away.


I took a deep breath as I met my own eyeliner-shrouded eyes in the mirror. Steady, girl, you can do this. The dress clung to my waist but fell loose down to my knees. It had thin straps and lace around the edges. I wore my favorite boots. My hair was flat-ironed and fell around my face.

I heard the front door open and my mom listening as Gerard introduced himself. Show time. “Sam!” my mom called.

I blushed when his eyes widened as I made my way downstairs. He wore a black suit with a crimson red tie, his black hair thicker than normal, coming down to his shoulders. His eyes sparkled under a very thin and subtle hint of guyliner. He looked AMAZING.

My mom smiled. “You look so beautiful.”

After about a million pictures, my dear mother finally let us go. He stopped before opening my car door. “You look incredible.”

I felt myself grin. “I love the guyliner. You should wear it more often.”

He laughed, looking just about as nervous as I felt. “I don’t think it’s my thing.”

I giggled, and he leaned forward, taking me by the back of the neck and gently kissing me. Then, smiling, he brushed the hair out of my face. “Sorry. You looked so cute there, I had to do it.”

I fought off the urge to burst into a fit of giggles and stepped aside to allow him to open my door for me. The ride to school was silent without being awkward. We had both accepted the fact that we were nervous but we’d be okay.

When we entered the gym it was packed—mainly because there were a lot of people standing against the wall, doing nothing. Heads turned when we walked in together, and I could almost hear Tina’s fingers flying across the keyboard of her phone as she set her Facebook status.

It just so happened a slow song came on really soon after we got there. He led me onto the dance floor awkwardly, his arms sliding around my waist as if he’d never touched me before. I smirked as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close. “I hate this song,” I mumbled, just to make him laugh. Everyone else was still, staring at us. I ignored them all. Eventually Gerard stopped caring as well.

And then it was just me and him. I was dancing with Gerard. Dancing with death.

Too soon it was over. The dance ended and people started filing out of the gym towards their cars, yelling across the parking lot about after parties and who’s getting a ride where. I had just managed to tune it out when Tina came scurrying up to us. “SAMMY. YOU DID IT!” she squealed, laughing, hugging me. “You look great. Here’s your money,” she said, shoving it into my hand. “You win the bet this time, dear, but just you wait. Next time it’ll be something you could never do.” And then the little (insert insult here) sauntered away towards Mike, who was waiting in his car.

I wanted to punch her. In the face. So hard it gave her a nosebleed.

“What bet?” Gerard asked, looking scared to know the answer.

“Don’t worry about it,” I mumbled.

“No, I will. What. Bet?” He was mad now. He wasn’t stupid. He’d figured it out. But he wanted to hear me say it.

I turned to face him. Despite the pain radiating from my chest, I got mad right back. “The first day you came here Tina made a bet with me that I couldn’t ask you to the dance and slow dance at least one whole song with you because she knew I couldn’t stand you. I wanted to refuse, but she threatened me and I hated her and I knew it would give her satisfaction if I backed out. So I told her I’d do it. Then we got paired for that project and I got to know you and I thought, Hey, maybe this dance thing won’t be so bad. I’m sorry, okay? I know it sounds really petty-teenage-girl-esque.”

He rolled his eyes, and if I had X-Ray vision I think I’d see some part of his heart breaking. “That’s the only reason you asked me here tonight? Just because of some stupid bet with Tina? I thought you hated her! You know what? Whatever. I don’t care. I’ll see you around, Samantha.”

Why did he still have to say my name so perfectly? But now it was empty, like an old habit he didn’t want anymore but couldn’t seem to break. I couldn’t tell if it was my tears or the rain that started once he drove away that got my face wet first. I walked the five blocks home, soaking wet and miserable—inside and out. I entered through the front door, ignored my mom’s questions as to how the dance went and why I walked home, went upstairs, got in the shower, and went to bed without a word. I cried the whole time.

Chapter 21
“Sam? Honey? Would you please open the door and talk to me? Also, where’s your dress? It’ll be ruined if I can’t wash it soon.”

“Screw it,” I mumbled, rolling over in bed. “I hope it gets ruined. I never want to see it again.” That was a lie I was trying to tell myself. I wanted to see that dress. I wanted to hold it to my face and try to remember what it was like when Gerard held me as we danced in our own little bubble, disconnected from the world.

“Samantha. If you don’t open this door now I will have to break out a credit card.”

I slowly rose and unlocked my bedroom door, letting my mother in. “Sam, honey, what happened? You look terrible.” She ran a hand through my hair, her thumb lingering under the eyeliner I had yet to take off.

“He ditched me, Mom. He found out I only asked him to come on a bet and he ditched me.” I felt the tears wash down my face but I didn’t stop. “I was stupid and I let Tina take advantage of me and walk all over me. And now I’ve lost him.”

“Oh, honey, you can’t beat yourself up. You see that what you did was wrong, and since you’re a smart girl, you’ll find your way around it. One thing I know about you is that you get what you want. If you want him, you’ll have him. He looked pretty crazy over you, anyway.”

“Okay,” I sighed.

She smiled and gave me a hug. “It’ll be okay, dear.” Then, grabbing my dress off the floor, she left my room, shutting my door and leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Gerard left me standing in the rain last night. He’d driven away and let me walk home cold and wet. I’d deserved it. He probably hated me. I sat on the soft velvet chair I’d gotten for my thirteenth birthday and curled into a little ball, staring out the window. I was wearing the same pajamas I’d worn when I called Gerard that day after I’d seen Satan at the mall. I was crying without really noticing. I was numb, cold, and probably terrible looking since I had yet to get some makeup remover for my stupid attempt to be pretty last night.

I’d let Tina use me to hurt both Gerard and me. The girl I couldn’t stand, the only chick I’d ever wanted to start a fight with, she had controlled me just like everyone else at school. I buried my face in my knees. If Gerard hadn’t changed, if he’d still been acting like he had the day he first came, I’d be fine. I wouldn’t regret this at all. But no, of course, he’d become sweet, hurt—and hot. Ugh.

My phone rang.

“What?” I mumbled, not even bothering to read the Caller ID.

“What happened last night?” Sarah asked. “One minute you guys were leaving, holding hands, the next you were standing alone in the rain.”

I almost laughed. “That’s exactly what I want to know.”

Chapter 22
I’d known already that school was gonna suck the next day. It sucked every day, now that I think about it.

Everyone turned to stare when I walked in. I kept my head down all the way to my locker. I got out my books and was early to class. I read until the bell rang. Then I looked up and tried to look like I was listening to Ms. Isobel’s lecture.

The room dropped ten degrees when Gerard came in, late as usual. His eyes were bloodshot, as if he hadn’t slept in days, and he had a bad case of bed head—something he never had. I nearly cried seeing him—he was in just as bad a shape as I was. I blinked and turned back to Ms. Isobel, pretending I’d never seen him. He walked past me without looking at me, collapsing into his seat. I felt him near. I couldn’t focus.

He didn’t say a word to me during biology.

“You okay, Sam? You’re barely eating or talking—both are out of character for you.” Tiffany asked at lunch.

“I’m fine,” I mumbled.

“Samantha, why don’t you name all twelve Olympians for us?” Mr. Smith asked in literature.

I rolled my eyes and said in a low, gravelly tone, “Zeus, Hera, Athena, Apollo, Artemis, Dionysus, Hephaestus, Hades, Poseidon, Aphrodite, Ares and Hermes.”

“Very good.”

The bell rang, signaling the end of the day. “Thank GOD,” I mumbled, gathering my stuff. Gerard’s shoulder bumped mine on the way out of the door, sending a wave of happiness through me. But the look he gave me said everything words couldn’t—crushing the way my heart jumped in my chest.

I slammed my head against the steering wheel of my car when Tina knocked on my window. I climbed out of the car and stood tall to face her.

“Hello, Sammy,” she said, smiling. “How are you today?”

“You knew,” I said. “You knew exactly what you were doing. It was all just so you could pull us down and gain popularity while doing it. You…”

“Yes, Sammy. Did it really take you that long? And I thought I was stupid.”

I couldn’t hold myself back then. I punched her. Right in the nose. She screamed, causing everyone to turn, her nose starting to bleed, Michael rushing up, not knowing whether to pick her up or let her finish the fight.

She straightened up. “You’ve really done it now. I will ruin you.”

I smirked, spitting out my gum. “Do what you want. I won’t care.”

She looked ready to charge at me, but Michael finally made up his mind and grabbed her.

“Bye, Tina. Just know that this was the best part of my day.” I turned and opened the door of my car, glancing up and noticing Gerard standing several feet away, looking right at me. He’d seen the whole thing.

Chapter 23
Weeks came and went. News of my “fight” with Tina spread like wildfire. For the next few weeks Michael gave me dirty looks, Tina’s followers tried to start fights with me, and anyone who couldn’t stand Tina followed me around like I had the answer to life. Gerard was as silent as ever. I started skipping the classes I shared with him. I didn’t want to see his face anymore. He made me feel vulnerable and stupid, simply because I couldn’t focus in his presence. The one class I couldn’t get out of was biology. He’d always be giving me looks that made me mess up while I was trying to write notes during experiments.

I only called him once during the whole period of time following the dance. ONCE. I left him a voice mail (he didn’t answer—shocker) telling him how sorry I was and how desperately I had to make things right. I wasn’t asking him to be my unofficial boyfriend again. I just wanted things between us to be peaceful.

I was pretty much miserable.

One Wednesday I was hiding under the bleachers rather than going to literature. I was about to finish my book when I heard footsteps approaching.

“Hey,” said a voice that hadn’t spoken to me in exactly a year.

I turned to face Josh, my ex-boyfriend. “Can I help you?” I’d dumped Josh for reaching down my pants one too many times (which means he did it once and I smacked him before walking away).

He sat next to me. “What’s up?”

“Um…nothing.”

“I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight. My parents aren’t gonna be home, so we can sit on the couch and…watch movies and stuff.” He winked.

I rolled my eyes and got up. “I don’t think so.”

“Come on,” he said, standing, sliding a hand under my butt.

“Get off!” I yelled, smacking him across the face and shoving him away.

“Please, babe, just come over. I miss you.”

“Yeah? Well I don’t miss you. You’re a self-absorbed pig, and I couldn’t care less how much you miss me.”

“It would make that loser you were with at the dance jealous.”

I laughed without humor. “And what would that do besides piss him off? You misunderstand me. I actually think things through, unlike every other girl you’ve gone out with. I don’t stoop to new lows to get attention. Just leave me alone, Josh. I broke up with you because you’re a moron and I can’t stand you.” I turned to walk away and heard a thud behind me. I glanced back to see Josh on the ground, Gerard standing a few feet behind him.

Chapter 24
“Is he…dead?” I gasped.

“Not yet,” Gerard said, his voice level, his eyes betraying just how angry he was. “At this point I decide whether his heart stops or he wakes up with a bad headache.”

“Did you hear the whole thing?”

He nodded. “I saw you slip out the back door right before the bell rang for last hour. I just…I wanted to make sure you were okay. So I followed you from a distance, planning to go back in and get a tardy once I knew you were fine.”

“Why’d you knock Josh out?”

“Because he had his hands all over you. It’d be different if you’d wanted him to. But you didn’t. And I couldn’t stand it. I wanted him to die. Right then. And when I decide someone needs to die, they go unconscious. Their heart slows down, and I have about ten minutes to go back on my decision, or they’re gone.”

I stepped over Josh and closer to Gerard without thinking about it. “I’m so sorry for what I did.”

He sighed. “My willpower to stay away from you is crumbling.” He took my face in his hands and kissed me.

Then the bell rang, splitting through the wonderful silence that came from kissing Gerard. I laughed quietly. “We can’t ever find a silent fifteen minutes together.”

“Come on,” he said, grabbing my bag off the ground. “I’ll walk you to your car.”

Chapter 25
Everything was fine until Saturday of that week.

I was just going for a walk. I headed down South B Street and I heard a very familiar voice.

“I’m not doing anything! Leave me alone!” Gerard said.

“That’s the problem. You’re about to do something. You’re getting too many rebellious thoughts. We can’t have that. So, as a punishment, I want you to kill your precious Sammy,” Lucifer laughed, licking his lips.

“Her name is Samantha.”

“Whatever,” he sneered.

“No. I won’t.”

“You will,” he spat, shoving Gerard against the wall of the alley. “Do it before I get to her.”

Fear split across his determined face. “No, please, I’m begging you, not her…”

He laughed, cruel and uncaring. “She makes you far too happy. Get rid of her within this week or I will. And I know you don’t want me to do it.”

He shivered. “Please, I’ll do anything…”

“Anything?” Lucifer asked, leaning close so his disgusting mouth was right next to Gerard’s ear. “How about this: you kill Sammy, and we’ll call it even.”

Gerard swallowed hard. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. Come on, man. You’re death. You have no emotions, no regret or pity in your heart. She’s just a girl. There are over three billion others in the world. Just kill her. You don’t need anyone else. You’re cold, unforgiving. You do not love. So kill the girl, and I’ll leave you alone forever.”

“Forever?”

“You can live forever, do whatever you want. If you’re lucky, I might make someone else be death for a few years. Just get rid of Sammy.”

He sighed in defeat. “O-okay.”

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I stumbled back from the alley. No. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Gerard was supposed to valiantly refuse, walk away, and ride off into the sunset with me swept into his arms. Not give in. “No,” I whispered so softly even I could barely hear it.

Gerard was going to kill me.

Lucifer winked at me before melting into the darkness. He knew I’d heard.

Gerard didn’t. He thought he would just corner me in an alley and knock me out like Josh—except I wouldn’t wake up. His thoughts were written all over his face. He broke down, sobbing.

My hands shook so bad I dropped my keys before I could unlock my car. I scrambled to pick them up and forced myself to climb in the car and lock myself there rather than running back to sit and cry with Gerard.

I sat there, shaking, for what felt like hours. Then I came to my senses and drove home.

Chapter 26
“Hey.”

“Um…hi.”

“Wanna go hiking?”

I had to laugh at Gerard then. “Hiking?”

“Hiking. There’s an awesome place I wanna show you.”

I shivered. “Okay.”

“I’ll pick you up in two hours. See you then.”

I shut my phone and swallowed my rising nausea. This was it. He was going to kill me…while hiking? I tried to tell myself that this wasn’t it, that he was taking me hiking as a way to say goodbye, and next time he took me out I’d be good as dead. But I couldn’t stop the shaking that began when I got in the shower. When I was all dressed in jeans, a Panic! At The Disco t-shirt and my best hiking boots, I waited by the window until I saw his car pull up.

“Easy girl,” I murmured, getting up to open the front door. “If you’re gonna die, at least move towards your death bravely.”

“Hey,” Gerard said, pulling me into his arms when I opened the door for him.

“Hello.” I couldn’t help but get a little happy when he touched me.

Soon we were on the road heading to the most rural area in town. Soon we were in Bear Hill State Park, a small park with exactly two hiking trails, both leading up and down tall cliffs over and over again. “After you, malady,” Gerard said, smiling as he opened the car door for me. He’s either a great actor, or has convinced himself that this is for my own good, I thought as we started towards one of the trails.

“So…” he said as we began the walk up the first trail. “You look great.”

I laughed out loud, the trees nearby echoing the sound. “I’m wearing jeans, a tee and no makeup. That’s ‘great’ to you?”

“Every time I see you, you seem a little more beautiful to me.”

I sucked in a breath as he took my hand, lacing his fingers through mine. I wanted to break down and cry right then. I wanted to scream loud enough that all the birds nearby would fly away and Gerard would realize that if I was so gorgeous to him, he shouldn’t kill me. So I mumbled a very lame, “Thanks.”

“Are you okay?” he asked, pulling me to a stop next to him. “You’re so quiet. It’s not normal for you.”

I looked at him then. I could tell him what I’d heard, if I wanted. But no. I couldn’t spit it out just yet. “I’m fine.”

“Okay,” he said, walking again.

We walked in silence. I felt like I was choking on the clean air surrounding us in the middle of the forest. Slowly suffocating as Gerard’s hand made me feel happy in the deepest parts of me. It was the most bittersweet time of my life.

We got to the top of a cliff after about an hour of that quiet walking.

“Okay. Speak up. Something’s wrong. What is it?” he asked.

“I…” I knew I had to tell him then. “I heard you talking to Lucifer last night. I know you’re going to kill me and I can’t…I couldn’t sleep last night and I’m trying not to lose my head and start screaming right now. Please, Gerard, tell me you aren’t really planning to do it.”

His eyes turned black, and I stumbled backwards, closer to the edge of the rock. “Why were you there at that time of night?”

“I just wanted to go for a walk. I wanted some air…”

He punched a tree. “You need to learn to keep your nose where it belongs.”

“I didn’t mean to!”

“You shouldn’t have heard that!” he yelled back, running a hand through his hair.

I grabbed a tree to keep my balance. “No, Gerard. I’m glad I did. At least now we can work through this. Together.”

“Work through this?” he laughed out loud. “You are so naive. It can’t be done, Samantha.”

“Why not?”

“Do you have any idea who we’re up against? This is the freaking devil!”

“So? You said he has no power over us!”

“But he has power over other people. And I was stupid to think that. I let my head get filled with these ridiculous notions. Look, can we please just do this before I lose my nerve?”

“No. Please.”

He stepped closer to me. I gripped the tree tighter. “Why are you doing this?”

He stepped into the sunlight so his eyes looked darker than before. “Because death is evil. Death is unforgiving and hauntingly hateful. Death does nothing but leave you broken in the end. I’m sorry, Samantha. I actually thought we could avoid this. But…”

“And we can! Please, we can find another way. Don’t…don’t do this. I—I love you,” I murmured softly, my throat closing up with the threat of tears.

“I love you too,” he said, as if it were something he was already looking at in hindsight. Then he pushed me, ripping me away from the tree and sending me toppling off the edge of the cliff.

Chapter 27
I opened my eyes to darkness. I thought I was dead. No, I knew I was dead. It was this feeling, radiating from somewhere in my chest, filling me with a sensation that I was sinking. Into what, I don’t know. I couldn’t see anything around me, couldn’t feel any of my limbs. I tried wiggling my fingers and couldn’t tell if I’d done it or not. I tried to sit up, but it was so dark I couldn’t see or feel if I’d moved. It was like the air itself weighed something. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, couldn’t tell what was happening or why it seemed the shadows kept shifting as if they lived.

Then I heard the voice that haunted my nightmares when I was younger—the voice that had tempted me from the diner down the street from Gerard’s house. A stabbing pain shot through me at the thought of his name as the voice spoke. “Hello, Sammy.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but no sound came out.

“It’s nice to see you again. I had hoped Gerard would pull through and kill you completely while he had his chance. But no.”

I wanted to ask if I was dead. I wanted to know why I couldn’t feel anything. What he wanted.

“You’re not dead, if you’re wondering. You’re somewhere in between.” His voice was that of an angel. “Because Gerard had a last minute hesitation before cutting the rope.” His voice was that of a monster.

“You could have been fine,” he murmured, suddenly coming close, the shadows seeming to part like curtains around him. “You could have been more than fine. I would have given you everything I have. You could have had it all, Sammy. Together, we could have been a force more powerful than anything the world has even seen. You could have lived forever. Anything you would have asked for would have been yours without a question. You could have been mine…I could have been yours.” The smoothness of this angelic monster’s voice startled me, and even if I could have moved I’d have been rooted to this spot.
“But you had to go and pull a stupid stunt like falling in love with Gerard.” The smoothness vanished at that sentence.

I would have spit on him if I could have moved.

He crouched next to me. “Your neck should have been broken by that fall,” he said quietly. “But it’s not. Why do you think that is? Because I strengthened the bone to resist damage. What, you think I can’t help you out just because I’m evil?

“Samantha, if you weren’t so ridiculously naïve, you wouldn’t be in this position. You think there’s good in everyone when sometimes there’s not. There’s no more good in Gerard than in me. But that’s the beauty of it.” His voice became rich and deep, chilling me to the bone.

“There’s good in evil, just as there’s light in darkness. There’s right in wrong, power in being too weak to refuse the temptation. Evil is like a secret fantasy of every good person out there unwilling to admit it. You could live that fantasy with me, Samantha.” He was calling me by my real name, and it sounded so sweet rolling off his tongue.

“We could do it, you and I. We could succeed beyond anyone’s wildest imagination. We could rule the world.”

Light suddenly burst through a hole in the rock (or at least I think it was rock) right over my eyes. It stung. I couldn’t see again.

“Samantha?”

I wished with all my heart I could have stood when I heard Gerard say my name perfectly. I wanted to get up and run and cry with relief.

“Stop, Gerard. Before you do something that’s irreversible.”

He didn’t seem to hear Lucifer. “Samantha, I need you to get up.”

Where are you? I would have asked if I could speak. All I saw was the hole and all the light of the sun. Gerard’s voice filled my ears. “Get up!”

“You know she can’t,” Lucifer said.

“She can if she’s not listening to you!”

I tried to raise my arm. It was like trying to run through marmalade. Thicker, heavier marmalade than any edible substance should ever be. I couldn’t do it. I started panting, the oddly heavy air moving in and out of my lungs faster and faster, making me feel more and more choked and desperate for oxygen. “I…” was all I could get out of my mouth.

“Shut up!” Lucifer cried, the angelic part of his voice gone, all of it replaced with the monster part. He smacked me, the side of my limp face growing warm with the pain.

“Samantha. You have to focus. Focus on all the power inside of you. Get up now, or you’ll die.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Lucifer said softly, hints of an angel in that voice.

A cool air swept over me. I felt my fingers finally start to move. I didn’t think about anything but getting away from this monster and to Gerard as I climbed to my feet. Lucifer grabbed my arm as I tried to walk past him. “You don’t want to do that,” he said softly.

“Why not?” I said, reveling in the return of my speech.

“Because once you go through there you can’t come back. Next time, you’ll die instantly. Do you really want to go back to life? Life sucks. Stay with me. I’ll show you everything you’re missing.”

I looked at him then. His voice had gotten angelic again, and almost had a musical sound to it. His eyes looked like the sky on a perfect spring day, bright, clear and beautiful. His hand on my arm felt like velvet against my skin. And then I knew I had to say no. He was too perfect. It was unnatural.

So I pulled out of his grasp. “No.”

His beautiful eyes turned black. “Fine.”

“Gerard!?” I yelled when the ground started to shake. Then I saw his arm, his pale, cold arm, reaching through the hole towards me.

I grabbed his hand without a second’s hesitation and let him pull me up, breaking away bits of rock as he dragged me to the surface, and everything stopped shaking completely. I was on the ground, next to Gerard, panting.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

I sucked in a deep breath and smiled at him. “I’m perfectly fine.”

He sat up. “I’m so sorry, Samantha.”

I felt my smile widen as I too sat up and turned to him. “I get it. But it’s over. We’re together now.”

He pulled me close. “That we are.”

Chapter 29
“I swear, if your parents don’t trim the bushes…”

“Shut up!” I hissed as I hitched my leg over a slightly higher branch and pulled myself over it. We were climbing the tree outside my house to climb through the window of my room, mainly because my parents were asleep and if I woke them up coming in with a guy, I’d be dead. It was around midnight, and Gerard had told me he just wanted to make sure I got to bed safely.

When we finally reached the window, I bravely reached out and slid open my window, ignoring the drop below me, and scrambled inside. Gerard slid in behind me.

“Okay then,” I sighed, pulling twigs out of my hair. “Wait here, okay?”

He nodded.

I went to the bathroom, changed into pajamas and brushed my teeth. When I was all done, I crept back to my room, and sat on the edge of my bed, Gerard joining me without a word. I slipped my hand into his, and he squeezed it. I sighed happily and laid my head on his shoulder. “So what happens now?” I asked.

“Well, there’s probably going to be a war.”

“A…what!?”

“Satan’s not used to losing, Samantha. Today, when you woke up after falling from the cliff, you were caught in between life and death because I hesitated at the last second. From there, it became your choice to live or die. Lucifer intervened and tried to influence your decision, because according to him, you had to die. Whatever he did, he used everything he had to tempt you. I’m amazed it didn’t work.”

“I just knew better than to trust him,” I said softly.

“Anyway, once you broke free of his spell and got up, he was finished. And now he’s got to be plotting revenge.”

“What kind of revenge?”

“People will die. Beyond that ,I don’t know.”

I shivered.

“I have to tell you something.”

“Okay.”

“Do you remember that night you contemplated suicide?”

I was shocked he knew about that. “Yeah.”

“That was my fault.”

“How?”

“I can cause suicide, though I only do it when I absolutely have to. Please, Samantha, you have to understand…you scared me.

“You were beautiful and intelligent and asked so many questions.” I blushed when he said that. “I was annoyed by your flawed perfection and I was terrified I’d let something slip. You don’t know how big of a risk I took when I told you who I really was. Anyway, that night, I wanted you to die. Fast and easy. But I couldn’t pull through. I had to stop.”

I sighed, lying back on my bed. “It’s over now. I’m so tired. Can I please sleep now?”

“Yeah,” he said, getting up.

“You wouldn’t really leave me, would you?”

He stopped and smiled back at me. “I have to go.”

I sat up to pout at him. “Please tell me you’re not serious.”

“I do!” he laughed.

“Come here,” I said.

He laughed again, stepping close, taking my cheek in one hand, tilting my head up to look at him. “I’ll count the minutes until we’re together again.”

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t get corny, and don’t ditch me.”

He leaned down and kissed me slowly. I slid closer, his other arm wrapping around my waist. “Gerard?” I whispered when we broke apart.

“Yes?” he whispered back.

“I love you.”

He grinned, pushing me back so there was room for him next to me on the bed. “I love you more.”