I've always had this weird feeling, like someone watching me. It's more complicated than that though. When I'm in Mayfield there is a constant feeling, the feeling of being watched. It makes me nauseous, and the more I think about it, the more I feel like the world is starring. It's like everyones staring at you, but there's no one there. I know I'm not going crazy. But there’s just no way to escape it. Well there kinda is I guess? Like the one time my family and I went to New York, the second we got out of Mayfield there was no feeling, it was gone. The drive was peaceful, green trees, highways filled with people that couldn't care less about the car driving next to them. I felt so alone. That sounds depressing when you really think about it but in reality it was the most relaxed I have ever been. I could just sit in the car and just relax, read my book, take my mind off things, just freeze time. But I feel like this feeling will always be there. Even if I wanted to escape this feeling I couldn't. I'm not even allowed out of Mayfield, unless the familys going on a vacation. So there really is no escape. Im stuck in this stupid town. With this stupid feeling. Is Mayfield even the only place like this? Are there more places like this? What's causing this? Is there an answer to any of my questions? Will finding out the answer make the truth worse? All these thoughts swam through my head as I stared out my window. Just sitting there, thinking, watching the rain trickle down my window slowly. *BEEP* I hear the noise of my sister beeping the car at me to get in. I rush downstairs as fast as possible trying to not make her more agitated than I already have. 

“Goshh, what took you so long?!” 

me and Emma don’t really have the best relationship, she bugs me about how I'm not like the rest of the family, and I ignore her. 

“I was just-” 

“staring out the window?” she cuts me off with the most sassy tone possible. 

“Yeah” I say in a low tone, then silence. 

We don’t speak for the rest of the drive, just the sound of Madonna's new hit songs playing over the radio, we pull up into the long line of cars waiting to get into the school's parking lot. 

“You don’t talk much, I personally think you think too much!” 

Honestly I wish I cared about Emma’s opinion’s about me but I stopped caring the second she started sharing them. Emma’s literally the pitch perfect sister, straight A’s, perfect boyfriend, rich friends, popular, you know. Like literally every mean girl, in every movie, to ever be made. So if she's so perfect, and I'm so not, why would I wanna hear her opinions about me? They're always bad anyways. It stays silent. More new thoughts flood my brain. Am I really this quiet? Do I think too much? What's wrong with me? Why am I this way?

 “Hello?! Are you gonna get out of the car?!” She looks at me and shakes her head. 

I honestly can't think of any other words to describe her as other than sassy. All she ever does is sassy, mom asks her to help make dinner, sassy. She asks a question to me, but it has to be sassy. Why is she always doing everything in a sassy tone? What's her problem? I space out again, more thoughts swaming my head, more questions. 

“Fine i'll just leave you in the car” Emma says as she shuts the car door and walks over to her little group of snobby, popular, rich friends that dont care about anyone but themselves. 

They're the type of teens that comment on everyone else without a care in the world. Annoying. “Boo!” Oliver jumps out from behind the corner.

 “Good Morning” I say not scared at all whatsoever.

 “Cmon I didn't scare you at alllll?” 

“Nope not one bit!” I say walking towards my locker. 

“Dang it, anyways! I was thinkinggg maybeee we could go to the dress the school event?!” Oliver's my best friend, he's super energetic, fun, super social, definitely an extrovert. We're super close, we have been ever since the 2nd grade and he knows that I don’t like social events. “Ehh how about no.”

 “Cmonn I know you don’t want to but we only get two chances to do it so why not?!” 

 For context “Dress the School” is an event created by the school that only Freshman and Seniors can attend. It’s where we all go at night and dress the school up for halloween since our school mascot is a ghost. We put fake spider webs, fake blood, really anything halloween themed that we wouldn't get in trouble for. Oh and that's under budget. $200 funded by the school and if you want to bring supplies of your own you can. But since it’s only freshman and seniors it’s kind of a two in a lifetime experience, but still I don’t wanna go. Too many people, and plus my sister is going.

 “No thank you. But you can go.” 

“Pleasee it will be tons of fun, I promise! Plus it's a rare experience.” He begs 

“Fine, just this once ok?” 

“Yesss!!” Oliver jumped around the crowded area near my locker with excitement. 

“Ok it's not that big a deal” I say with a little giggle.