When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punch line becomes apparent. Welcome to the Book of Dad Jokes for Dummies. If you’re reading this, you’re probably desperately trying to be funny. This book will share with you all the tips and tricks to successfully deliver a seamless dad joke. All the advice included in this manual comes from our expert in dad humor, a sixteen-year-old girl. This book will go through all the steps to create a solid dad joke. Please enjoy!

Chapter One—The Purpose of a Dad Joke
In order to perfect a dad joke, the joker must first understand the purpose. The main goal of a dad joke is to embarrass the kids. A well-delivered joke will make the kids red-in-the-face with a look of mortification. The more grimaces and groans, the better. If someone without kids is telling a dad joke, then their primary focus is to try to get attention and establish themselves as a funny person. This will most likely not work for them because dad humor is only for dads.

Chapter Two—When and Where to Carry out a Dad Joke
Another key to perfecting a joke is the location (just like in real estate). The absolute best place to execute a dad joke is in public. In front of any person is good, but it is better if the joke is completed in front of the friends of your children, or better yet, your child’s crush.
Some good times to crack a joke are when your kids are in a serious mood or situation. This will really get them riled up or uncomfortable. When the child is trying to concentrate is also a prime time for a joke. Always remember, the more people around to hear the joke, the better.

Chapter Three—Joke Material
Now that the setting of the joke has been established, the material must be considered. As mentioned in the previous chapter, serious situations are good (just be careful and considerate about the level of seriousness of the circumstances). The jokes are best when they are based off grammatically incorrect sentences told by the kids. Most material is acceptable; there are very few limitations in this category.

Chapter Four—The Punch Line
The final vital component to successfully tell a dad joke is the pitch of the punch line. It is crucial to keep a steady, clear, monotone voice when saying the line. If the punch line is said without seriousness, the joke will not have served its purpose. Only after the joke is told is it okay to break the façade and laugh. Make it a point to chuckle, this will only humiliate the kids even more. Nothing is more uncomfortable than a person laughing at their own joke.

Chapter Four—Examples
Now that all the steps for a perfect dad joke have been recited, here are some examples of jokes for use and reference:
1. Child: Dad, I’m hungry.
Dad: Hi Hungry, I’m Dad.
2. Dad: I wouldn’t buy anything with Velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
3. Child: Dad, can you put the cat out?
Dad: I didn’t know it was on fire.
4. Cashier: Would you like the milk in a bag?
Dad: *MAKE SURE CHILD IS PRESENT* No, just leave it in the carton.
5. Dad: *Bumps into son wearing camouflage* Whoops, I didn’t see you there.
6. Child: Dad, can you put my shoes on?
Dad: No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.
7. Child: Dad, did you get a haircut?
Dad: No, I got them all cut.
8. (Personal example from the author) Dad: *Flexing* Welcome to the gun show.
*Numbers 2,3,4,6, and 7 are from pun

Chapter Five—Summary
In conclusion, dad jokes are great tools to give life more spunk and to have fun with your kids. The purpose of a good dad joke is to mortify the kids. Only dads tell the jokes best. If the joker isn’t a dad, maybe they should try a different kind of humor; they might have more success.

The best places to conduct a dad joke are places with many ears present. This way, the kids will be more annoyed. Remember, the number one time to tell a joke is in front of your child’s crush.
Most material is appropriate for a pun. Use common knowledge to determine if the subject is off-limits. Remember, teenage girls like to cry, so just be careful.

Lastly, the most important factor to tell a respectable dad joke is the delivery of the punch line. It must be said in a serious way; otherwise the joke loses its element of surprise, and therefore, its humor.

Hopefully this book has filled all kinds of dads with helpful knowledge to create the perfect dad joke. Best of luck with all future joking.