I once heard a saying:"What you didn't do controls you." Or something around that. When I heard this I was putting off taking a test I didn't do and I was having anxiety over it. The next day I took the test. It felt surprisingly relieving to have this tiny weight lifted off my shoulders. In my life, especially right now, there are many problems, things that are out of my control. What is I'm my control is what I do. Someone once told me while in a conversation I will never forget, that I need to do what's best for me. He explained what he did and how even though it was hard amd he didn't want to face his problems, he did what he had to do even if it was going to hurt others. I want to do what he did, run away and start fresh, it may be what's best for me. A big part of me want's to but I need to think about it. No situations are exactly the same but his story is guiding me, and I am thankful for having it. I want to act out, do anything that may for a brief period of time, days, even seconds, make me feel better than I do now. But I can't. I can't keep pushing my feelings away, hiding them from myself like how the truth was from me. I can't hide my truth anymore. One day I'm going to have go face everything, the truth, the hidden truth, my fears, everything. But at this point in time, I'm not ready. I don't know when I will be but when I am, I need to have my best interest in mind. I need to do it for myself. The pain I'm going through, it would be so easy to balme on everyone else, but I can't. At the end of the say it's my body, my mind, my emotions, and I need to be in control.