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The rain is like an orchestra to me. It begins as a soft trickle. A few droplets here and there, a soft violin entering from an abyss. Crescendoing but only the slightest. A few times back and forth. The birds come in soon, sounding better than any flute I've ever heard. It goes on for who knows how long, but all you can do is wait. Watch and hear until there is nothing left but a slow, deep hum, as it decrescendos to its end.
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The rain. I can't tell you how much I love the rain. I am a bit confused myself, but there’s just something so deep in my heart that yearns for the trickle of rain. I think if I were to look back, my love of rain started when I was maybe 5 or 6. Those years were the best of my life. I remember opening the window and letting the cool air blow through the curtains. The rain would sooner or later come trickling in and all I would do is watch.
That’s one of my deepest regrets. Not enjoying the rain, not feeling it on my skin. Not enjoying life to the fullest because now, what can I really do? Why didn't I enjoy my childhood, why didn't I do the things I wanted to? Now it's too late…
After the rain, the earth would become soft. Easy for my chubby hands to mold. Now looking back on it, I don't really get how it was much fun. It was just my hands getting dirty and stealing rose petals from my neighbors, but all I knew, all that I felt, was pure joy.
I wish I could go back and tell myself to enjoy every second of that mud pie. To tell myself that you will never feel that same joy again. To keep doing them even when there is no rain, because once you grow, it won't ever be the same. You’ll feel judged and anxious. Of the eyes in the window watching you. And even if you tried, you won't ever feel that same joy.
I think the reason I love the rain is because it reminds me of my childhood. It's so simple that you may call it foolish, but it was everything for me...
And it wasn't just the rain or the mud pies, but it was the sky, the grass, and the birds. Every single thing held memory. I didn't have a phone or anything of that sort, but I had nature, and that was enough. Nowadays, nature feels like the background of a play. Just props for my life and I can't help but cry. Why did I change? Why can't I feel the way I used to? Why am I glued to my phone and why can't I let it go? I've tried to go outside but all I can do now is stand.
That's why I cherish the rain because it's not just rain, but it's time.
As much as I wish to hate it, it's also kind. It leaves a piece of that rain in every place on earth. In the muddy dirt, in the wet leaves, and in the cloudy sky. It's funny because the moments I'll cherish the most, are the ones I’ll never know were good. So for now, let me enjoy my life. Let me pretend that life right now is like it was before because I know one day it will be.
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The rain might have gone, but it’ll come back again.
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