How I feel about school maybe shouldn't be shared, but here we are. I am a part of everything. Green team, Safety Patrol, Library crew, Lonestar, and teachers pet. All these things have me staying up late to study just to wake up in the morning early for safety Patrol. I feel that a weight on my back is carried with me in every aspect of my life. I never really see my friends anymore and don’t share much about my relationships. My life is constant work and for what, to impress some teacher or my parents, sure. But when can I be me, a weirdo, trouble-maker, just me. I don’t get bullied, but I don’t get noticed either. Yes I have friends, but we are in a bad situation and falling apart slowly. We just ended it to prevent so much drama for any of us. Even though I work for every award, I feel people will just think I’m annoying and get everything. I just won a big contest and another the same day. I feel happy, but incomplete and annoying too. It feels too pressuring and that's just to go along with my apearinese. Yes, I’m taken with someone good-looking, but every person flirts with them and sends them flirty texts. It makes me feel small, helpless, and insecure. I hate it. Also my mom has bad anger issues and I get blamed half the time. This caused me to have a depressed life at a young age and to create a mindset where everything is my fault. Lastly, I have no one to talk to. Everyone seems too busy and won’t understand. I didn’t write this to vent, but to see who else DOES understand?