I love summer camp. Toasting s’mores, playing War with cards in a cabin, and taking in the ever-present, tropical scent of Banana Boat sunscreen. But every year, I dread the first few days, which always seem to be filled with awkward silences, polite exchanges of “how are you,” and standard replies like “I’m good.” Summer camp is supposed to be about forming connections, so why are all of our conversations so shallow?

In 2021, researcher Michael Kardas and his team at Oklahoma State University discovered that most people overestimate how awkward a conversation with a stranger can be and fail to see that it might turn into a memorable experience. It is understandable why people might do this. What is there to talk about with someone new, especially if you don’t know if you have any common interests? Where do you start the conversation?

Recently, Corina Knoll of The New York Times published an article memorializing David Breaux, known online as “The Compassion Guy,” who devoted his life to authentic conversation by creating his own “Compassion Corner.” Some people may describe David Breaux as a drifter. A down-and-out. A vagrant. He was the type of person we are taught to look past — to say nothing more than “hello” to before moving on. But to many people in Davis, California, he was a friend. A confidant. A companion. 

But in late April 2023, the Davis community lost all of this when Breaux was stabbed to death. As I was reading Knoll’s account of the man who, through small gestures, made such a significant difference in so many lives, it occurred to me that we live in a world where people prioritize checking items off their to-do lists over having heart-to-heart conversations. 

Some of you might have also heard of Seth Phillips, or as he refers to himself on social media, “Dude With Sign.” Phillips stands on the streets of New York City holding pieces of cardboard with funny messages. Some examples of his signs include “Stop walking slow on sidewalks” and “Yes, Netflix, I am still watching.” His messages are always relatable, meant to make a stranger smile and strike up a conversation. He breaks the ice so that people can start talking about a shared interest or experience, because what he writes on his signs are common annoyances. 

In their own ways, both Breaux and Phillips initiate discussions, rather than rely on other people to come up to them. Studies have shown that, while most people state that they would feel uncomfortable going up to a stranger to start a conversation, the majority of individuals would not mind if a stranger started a conversation with them. We need more people like Breaux and Phillips — people who are not afraid to form connections with those they have never met. 

Some people might cite the concept of “stranger danger” as an example of why we should not approach those we don’t know (people who could potentially be dangerous) on the streets. But this fear may be all in our heads. The U.S. Department of Justice found, for example, that 73 percent of instances of violence are committed by people that the victim already knows. 

Even introverts can have a pleasant time meeting and interacting with someone new. Indeed, psychologists from the University of Chicago conducted an experiment where half of the participants were told to converse with strangers on public transportation and the other half were told not to do so. All participants in the group directed to converse with strangers reported enjoyment with their commute regardless of how outgoing they were, showing that the results of communicating with others are not dependent on personality type. All humans are social creatures and can benefit from getting to know others authentically. 

Next year, when I head off to summer camp, I’m determined to be more like Breaux and Phillips. If somebody asks me how I’m doing, I’ll resist the urge to respond with just a “good.” Armed with a few icebreakers and an open ear, I’ll make my own Compassion Corner.